


A Battle to Remember

by straywrites



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angry Keith (Voltron), Angry boyfriend, Angst, BAMF Lance (Voltron), Battle, Blue Paladin Lance (Voltron), Extra Characters, F/F, F/M, Injured Lance (Voltron), Injury, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Memory Loss, Soulmates, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Space Uncle Coran (Voltron), allura is also a gossiping teen at sleepovers, allura is terrifying princess, alura and lance are best friends, confused keith, hunk is great friend, jealousy thy name is keith, lonely, pidge is best sibling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 15:56:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 84,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15174203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straywrites/pseuds/straywrites
Summary: Lance keeps up his self-assured attitude in hopes it will keep everyone happy. He sticks to what he thinks is the script that was given. He hides how it makes him feel and shows the team what they expect. That is until a battle that will never be forgotten . . . or never to be remembered?





	1. Party Pooper

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fic of Voltron and on this platform. I hope you guys like it.

[Lance’s POV]

The battle had gone good. Everything went according to plan and we made it out alive. Not exactly unscathed, but alive with no serious injuries. And then afterwards there was the party. This party was different than most. 

Most of the parties the paladins attended were mostly made up of a small village or city to honor their victory. This one had several different alien races and all held in one place. It was like a celebrity party. Of course, Lance McClain didn’t mind. In fact, this was his territory. He was handing out selfies and autographs when an alien shood his crowd away. 

“Are you the blue paladin?” the alien asked with what appeared to be a microphone in his hand. Behind him stood another holding what must be a camera. 

Lance smiled easily and faced the creature. “Yours truly,” he replied charismatically, “Who’s asking?” 

The alien didn’t bother with the rhetorical question and dived right into an interview. “The other paladins have insinuated for you to be a bit loud,” he started, “I was wondering how you felt about their opinions of you.”

Lance frowned for a second at the way he said loud but pulled his smile right back up. “Well if by loud they mean charming, I most definitely am.” he held his chin with two fingers and winked. 

“How does your team work together?”

“We’re great, like seven peas in a pod!”

“Is there any problems in your personal lives?”

“None other than defending our home.”

“So you have a bond with your lion?”

“Me and ol’ Blue are bros for life.”  
“How do you contribute to the team?”

Lance opened his mouth but found he couldn’t find find anything to say. Subtly, he fiddled with his hands and hoped the small guy wouldn’t notice his pause. He was saddened when he couldn’t really find anything but the usual gun expert. “I’m the sharpshooter. I shoot the bad guys before they can get to the good ones.” 

The alien asked a few more questions before venturing off to find another story. Lance let out a sigh of relief and picked up some space juice. He wandered off aimlessly while thinking to himself. He thought of how he could help more in the next battle. Or how they could prevent not getting hit so much. It was starting to become common for the lions to shut off for a few minutes in the midst of battle. That couldn’t be good. 

While he was thinking he ran into the Altean princess. 

“Oh, hello Lance,” she greeted having just finished speaking with an ambassador. 

“Hey, Lura,” he smiled, “When’s the party end?”

Allura looked surprised that Lance didn’t want to be surrounded by fans but quickly adjusted. “Actually, I was thinking we head to the castle now in case of another distress call,” she said, “You can go ahead. I’ll tell the others.”

Lance just nodded and headed out of the foreign building and quickly entered the castle. Inside it felt like he could breathe normally again. When there was no battle raging on the castle was peaceful. 

Lance headed to his room and changed from his armor to his normal baseball tee and sweater. Once he was finished and leaving the room the others had already come back and were sitting in the little area with the circular sofa. 

“Sooo,” Lance shouted leaping onto the couch, “The fight went great.” 

Shiro nodded in his leader-like way. “We did good today,” he agreed, “Pidge what you did with your lion’s ability was amazing. It took out the Galra’s defenses in seconds.”

“Well, Hunk was the one who suggested it,” shrugged Pidge humbly. 

Hunk denied it all and tried to put the spotlight on Keith. Lance watched them tell each other how good they did, pushing away a bud of loneliness. But his team was laughing and smiling like their lives weren’t at risk and they weren’t far away from Earth. So he didn’t bother inputting as every time it did he sounded arrogant. 

Coran came in soon ushering them to eat their food goo and get some rest. Who knows when the Galra would strike next. Even with Zarkon gone and the empire in chaos, the Galra still managed to be a major threat. It would only get worse once they found a new emperor. Then everything would go right back to how it was when Zarkon ruled. At least that was the worst scenario. And Lance had become accustomed to the worst.

Lance ate his dinner while cracking the usual corny joke, mostly making only Hunk laugh. That was fine while Hunk laughed the others rolled their eyes and went right back to talking. But if the big marshmello was cheerful, so was everyone else. Thats how the castle worked. Hunk was the one who defended everyone while still being able to smile like there was no wrong in the world. Pidge made sure everything worked and if they didn’t she’d fix it, whether it was with technology or people. Shiro lead everyone and made them feel accepted and pumped them up for just about anything. Coran made everyone laugh in more genuine ways Lance could, he was the lively space uncle. Allura kept everyone together and made sure that they made it through no matter what. And then there was Keith. Somehow he always made Lance feel weird. It was like a fight inside that wondered if he should hate him for how perfect he was and how everyone liked him and how he always did awesome things. Or if he should like him because he was genuinely kind and adorably reckless- What was he saying? Lance mentally shook himself before pushing away his plate. 

“I think I’m gonna head to bed,” he announced, “Plus there’s an interview to watch starring the one and only Lance McClain. And his awesome buddies.” 

“Interview?” puzzled Allura.

“Oh yeah!” exclaimed Pidge, “That alien that was asking us questions. We should be able to watch it.” They pulled out their device that was similar to a phone and pulled up the video. “I’m sending it to everyone right now.” They sent it and opened the link or whatever it was. Everyone crowded around them while Lance walked away silently. 

He flopped on his bed like it was some pool before opening up what Pidge sent him. He recognized the little alien dude immediately as they headed towards Allura first. 

“You are the Altean princess, am I correct?”  
“Yes, I am. One of the last of my kind.” 

“You know how to perform Altean magic?”

“I am not very skilled but I can perform simple feats of the ability my father passed down.”

“How does your team work together?”

“We bicker ever so slightly but in the end we are like family.” 

“What is the bickering usually caused by?”

“Usually small things. Lance likes to aggravate Keith which gets everyone a little worked up.”

“Lance?”

“The blue paladin.”

 

“Is there some resentment between the to paladins?”

“Oh, never. Lance can just be a bit . . . self-confident at times and that could get bothersome from time to time.” The princess laughed like it was no big deal and they moved on to the next question. 

Lance had slumped and skipped to Shiro then to Pidge, to Hunk, to Keith, and to Coran. Each one of them had replied in nearly the same way when asked about the blue paladin. He was self-assured but never really meant any harm. And when asked how he helps, the answers were either half-hearted or never really give. 

Lance held his head and stared at the ceiling, thoughts whirling through his mind like a sandstorm. He was frustrated, sad, angry, confused, and lonely. He wanted to throw the orange device at the wall and scream. He wanted to cover his face with a pillow and cry. Eventually he retreated to nothing and just dropped the device to the ground pulling his blankets over his body. If you looked closely you could see hints of anger and sadness cross over his unnaturally stoic mask. 

It didn’t matter. This was just how the team worked. And to make Voltron work, Lance would play his part.


	2. Bitter Bye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith liked soft Lance. Not arrogant, cocky Lance. But is he too late to accept both Lances?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I posted just yesterday but I've been writing all day so why not update. I tried to make this chapter longer and more drawn out. If the POV seems weird Im not used to writing in this style so forgive me. But enjoy the storm!!!!!!

[Keith’s POV] 

The team was all surrounding Pidge. Allura was holding onto their shoulder, bending down for a closer look. Coran was behind her, hands behind his back, eyes sparked curiously. Hunk was bouncing up and down to the right of Keith. Shiro stood behind the jumping Hunk. But someone was missing. 

The interview started up and Keith looked around the table. “Guys do you know where Lance is?” he asked after not finding him anywhere around the table. 

The others looked up as if just noticing the odd silence. “He must’ve gone to his room to watch the interview!” offered Coran. The others accepted his answer without a problem. But something felt off. 

After watching Allura’s turn the red paladin couldn’t handle it anymore. The others were too focused on the screen to notice him wander off. He knew Lance would either be in his room or in the lion's hangar. He peered around the are and only saw Blue. No Lance. Then Keith stood in front of Lance’s room hesitantly before opening the door. 

Silently, he stepped inside. The room was rather empty with only a gaming system in sight. On the wall hung a simple picture that must’ve been Lance’s family. There was a lot of people. When Keith turned to Lance he found the boy asleep. 

On the floor beside him was the little orange device. It was paused on an image of the alien reporter and Keith. Keith looked up to see Lance facing him, still asleep. The blue paladin looked almost entirely different when all the arrogance was melted away. His cheeks seemed slightly wet and his eyes were shut tight. Keith thought he was having a nightmare and it became increasingly hard to watch, After who knows how long Keith stood up, heart beating too hard to be normal. He must be getting cold. 

He left the room in a hurry trying to forget he was ever in there. He rubbed his face and felt his own forehead. Nothing seemed off but the blood rushing to his cheeks and the irregular beat of his heart. Okay, Keith knew he was in denial. He also knew that he’s had a crush on Lance for a while. Before he even knew he was part Galra. Not the obnoxious Lance that mocked and taunted him but the soft Lance you saw in between. When it looked like the boy had lost some script and became different. Softer. Kinder. That Lance was like water, gentle and warm but slipped through your fingers faster than you could respond. Which made being around obnoxious Lance hard. So he replied to all his taunts blankly and ignored him, waiting for soft Lance to resurface. 

Keith barged into his room and closed the door quickly. He went into the bathroom and threw cold water on his face. He shouldn’t have looked for Lance. What if Lance had been awake? Keith wasn’t exactly awkward, he just didn’t feel like talking to obnoxious Lance. He liked keeping his head level. 

He laid in his bed not bothering to change his clothes as he dozed off. 

* * *

An alarm woke him up. And not the ugh i have to wake up alarm. Blaring sirens that could only mean one thing. The castle was under an attack. Keith changed into his paladin armor and rushed out of his room. He met up with Lance who gave him a quick, worried glance before running of to the main control center. Not far behind Keith skidded to a stop beside Allura. 

The three ships he saw were familiar yet foreign to him. He’s seen the design somewhere. The purple and orange lines atop an agile gray ship. Far too agile to be Galra. Yet they were firing aggressively. 

Shiro turned to the teenagers. “Get to your lions now,” he ordered, “It seems we have a new threat.” 

Keith suddenly met eyes with Lance. Soft Lance. This meant whatever was out there really scared the blue paladin. Keith offered a reassuring smile before rushing off to Red. 

He quickly adjusted to Red’s controls and left the castle. Soon the other lions joined him as they faced this new threat. Immediately two of the ships directed their fire at the lions. The lions dodged and shot their own lasers. 

“Why are they so fast?” Lance wondered with a grunt as he maneuvered around a blast. 

“I don’t know,” Pidge replied, “But they see, just as fast as us.”

“Something tells me forming Voltron won’t help anything.” Hunk let out a yelp before blasting at one of the ships.

“No,” Shiro agreed, “It’ll give them more of a direct target.” 

“Then what do we do?” Keith yelled in frustration, “We can’t just keep dodging!”

Allura’s face popped up on their screen. “Someone needs to distract the three while the other lions take them out.”

Keith opened his mouth to volunteer when Lance’s face joined Allura’s. He wore that same cocky grin but it was definitely off. There was no laughter to it. It was like a mixture of soft and arrogant Lance. “I’ll do it. I’ll use my freeze ray to temporarily take out their weapons. So they won’t be able to shoot me while I shoot them. You guys come up from behind and take them out.”

No one said anything. It was a good idea. But definitely risky. Allura sighed. “That seems like a solid plan. Lance be careful,” cautioned the Altean. 

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Lance smiled. 

Keith looked at Lance’s face one more time before turning his lion around. Nothing too bad could happen. They did things like this all the time. Keith was usually the one in Lance’s position. There was nothing to worry about. Team Voltron always made it through. Like Lance said, they were seven peas in a pod. They’d make it together until that pod was picked. 

The lions made a show of retreating from the battle leaving Lance behind in “confusion.” Lance dodged a few more shots as the lions dove down until they were beneath the enemy. 

On cue, Lance formed his special gun and shot ice at the three ships. They turned to the blue lion. Keith and the other paladins shot up ready to attack. The plan was so close to working until the third ship shot its ice away and aimed at Lance. They caught the boy off guard and hit the blue lion.

“Lance!” exclaimed Pidge and Hunk. Keith growled and shot up faster at the ships. 

The blue lion moved away from the shot apparently fine. Though Keith noticed the sluggish way it seemed to move. He went as fast as he could to the odd ships when the other two shot their ice off. Everything seemed to enter slow motion. 

The two ships began to aim at the other paladins with purple beams instead of blue. Pidge got hit and let out a terrified yelp. The blue lion shot at the two again trying to get their attention. Nothing worked. The two ships somehow connected their blast and the powerful shot was about to hit them when suddenly Blue was being hit by it. The lion convulsed under the beam. Keith couldn’t hear anything over the comms but he bet Lance was screaming. And it made his head hurt. It only got worse when the third added to it. Eventually, the blue lion gave out and went limp, slowly floating away from the castle which was shooting at the enemy. 

The rest of the paladins attacked the three ships and caught them off guard. Instead of staying to fight the ships rushed off. If Lance wasn’t hurt they would’ve gone after them. 

“Lance!” Keith shouted into the communicator, “Lance! Are you there?!” He was freaking out and was trying to contain his emotions as best as he could. 

With a crackle Lance’s voice played but his face didn’t pop up. The lion must be trying to restart. 

“I’m alright,” he groaned. Keith instantly slumped, relieved to hear his teammate’s voice. 

“We need to get you to a healing pod immediately,” Shiro said, “Can you follow us?”

“Yeah,” replied Lance, “I can make it.” 

Finally Lance’s face popped up in Keith’s lion. The blue paladin didn’t look good at all. Blood was coming from somewhere on his head and he was holding himself with his arms. Yet he was smiling. It was a smile Keith hadn’t seen before. One that made his heart race and his head spin. But it was starting to worry him. 

“Keith,” Lance mumbled, “I like you a lot. More than a friend. It’s stupid I know. I just wanted to let you know. Make Hunk laugh for me. Everyone needs his happiness. Try to be a little happier. I wish I could see you guys defeat the Galra. I guess you could probably do the same without me. Maybe even better. Just be happy.” Lance let out a cough and looked at his suddenly bloodstained hand. He chuckled sadly before his face disappeared. 

Keith panicked. 

“Lance!” he shouted, “Lance what do you mean? Guys where is Lance?” Keith was freaking out he was gripping the red lion’s controls so hard his hands were beginning to cramp. His heart was running a marathon and all of a sudden he felt like throwing up. 

“What do you mean,” wondered Pidge, “He’s right behind us.” 

“You didn’t see that?” Keith asked. 

“What?”

“The message. The one Lance sent. It was a goodbye!”

Pidge veered the green lion around and squeaked. 

“Okay,” they warned, “Don’t panic, but I can’t see the blue lion.”

Keith whirled his lion around. It was true. The blue lion was nowhere to be seen. “No, nnonononnoonono,” he whispered. 

“Lance can’t be missing!” Hunk denied.

“Let’s get back to the castle so we can track his lion,” Shiro commanded.

Keith didn’t say anything as he raced back to the castle. His eyes were wet but he refused to cry. Lance wasn’t gone. He couldn’t be. 

* * *

It all happened so fast. One minute the plan was going fine. The next he was being blasted to death. His head had hit his dashboard hard. He was so dizzy. Something warm was gliding down his face. 

He replied to the others with the hope he would make it. Then he coughed and drops of blood floated in the air. There was no way he could make it. Keith. He had to tell Keith how he felt. 

“Record me,” he rasped to Blue, “Send it to Keith.” 

Lance wanted to say so much more but he didn’t have the energy to say all that he wanted to. He settled for a short recording, instructions. 

He let his body go limp in his seat. 

“Take me home,” he told his lion while eating some Altean healing goop. Hopefully, he’d survive long enough to see Earth again. 

He momentarily saw the blue planet before the world went dark.


	3. Missing Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is missing. Keith is angry. Everyone's sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know how to warn so if there's anything offensive or triggering please tell me!

[Keith’s POV]

The trip to the castle passed by in a blur. Keith couldn’t tell one moment from the next. It all was one string of events that only screamed one thing. Lance is gone. Every time that thought surfaced Keith pushed it down with aggressive denial. Because Lance wasn’t gone, he couldn’t be. There was no possible way. At least he told himself that. But he was confident Blue would take care of Lance until they found him. Alive. 

Keith jumped from Red’s open jaws and landed in the hangars where somehow the team had already gathered. Hunk looked like he was ready to collapse and panic with only a worried Pidge to comfort him. Shiro was speaking with Allura and Coran, expression stoic but tight with concern. 

Keith hurried to the three people. He nearly ran into Coran in his hurry to join the discussion. 

Without really listening to a word they said he burst out, “We need to find Lance!”

Allura stopped talking and gave Keith a sorrowful look. “The castle has already began to search for the blue lion. But if the lion took him too far we may be too late.” She tried to end with a comforting smile but her eyes were filled with too much uncertainty to make it convincing. 

Keith growled in frustration. “Can’t you use your life force to make it any faster?” he snapped. He knew there wasn’t much Allura could do but he couldn’t help the anger building up in his head. 

Of course, only Lance could be stupid enough to risk himself when there were so many other ways to go about the situation. Or at least not die in the process! How could he be so stupid? Keith really underestimated his idiocy. 

“Keith, calm down. Coran and Allura are doing their best to find Lance.” Shiro laid a hand on Keith’s shoulder. Any other time Keith would’ve relaxed at least a tiny bit. Now, Keith just wanted to find Lance and throttle him. Or hug him. 

He didn’t know anymore. Lance’s words replayed over in his head too many times to count. I like you alot. More than a friend. Keith had to know what Lance meant. He needed to see if he had lost more than a good friend. Lance just needed to be alive.

He shook off Shiro’s hand and turned away from the group. His legs took him to the training room, using muscle memory to guide him. Not bothering to change his armor or prepare at all he started up the gladiator. 

Automatically his bayard formed the sword he’d grown familiar with. The gladiator charged at him but Keith was ready. He raised his sword and met the simulation’s weapon. The force caused him to slide back and he quickly dropped his arm and ducked causing his opponent to stumble over him. Keith spun on the balls of his feet and cut through the thing’s legs. It disappeared and was replaced. Keith fought it over and over again until he couldn’t feel his arms or legs and his armor grew heavy on his body. 

“End simulation,” he ordered. Straightening he walked out of the room, ignoring the way his knees wanted to buckle. Too tired to pay attention he let his feet guid his body. He opened to door to his room and closed it behind him. Only to realize he wasn’t in his room. Somehow he’d ended up in Lance’s room. 

That moment he realized he should’ve left. But he didn’t. Keith looked around instead. He took everything in as if it would somehow conjure Lance out of thin air. The sheets on his bed were wrinkled and thrown around. The gaming system he and Pidge had somehow found was set up in the center of the room controllers sprawled around the machine. An orange device lay on the ground, forgotten. Everything seemed too plain to be Lance. Keith would expect some pictures to be hung up on the walls. Until he realizes Lance didn’t have any pictures to be hung up. All his family pictures would have been left on Earth and the paladins didn’t have much pictures. It sorta made Keith sad. 

He tried to pick things up and clean the room a bit. He lined the controllers up with the screen and made the bed. Picking up the orange device he saw that same interview from the other day. Frowning he turned it off and looked away from his own sullen face. Something about it seemed important but Keith ignored it and set the thing on a small nightstand. When opened you could see homemade skin creams and a mask to cover Lance’s eyes. The red paladin let out a humorless chuckle. Of course, he thought. 

Keith sat on the edge of Lance’s bed and took off his armor leaving the undersuit behind. He took out his blade and stared at it. Not really thinking he shoved it under Lance’s pillow and laid across the blankets. Without a second thought he fell asleep. 

When he woke up he panicked. What would the team think if they found him in Lance’s bed. He hurried from the room and entered his own. Quickly before it became obvious he had disappeared he changed into his black t-shirt and red jacket.

The kitchen was awfully quiet but food had been prepped. Lots actually. Hunk must’ve been stress cooking again. Keith took a serving and scarfed it down. Afterwards he wandered the halls until he ended up in the control room. 

Shiro was standing off to the side his arms crossed over his chest, hands in fists. The only break through his unnatural calm. Hunk sat in his seat talking to the space mice. Pidge was nowhere to be seen. Allura was looking at the castles screens, Coran beside her giving suggestions as her fingers listened and flew across the surface. 

“Any luck?” Keith asked Shiro. 

Shiro looked at him like he hadn’t noticed him. “Allura’s picking up traces of the lion but she can’t seem to get an exact location on it,” he replied tiredly. 

Keith nodded and crossed his arms as well. He fidgeted with his sleeves honestly surprised at his own concerned. Who would’ve thought that Lance going missing would make him this uptight. Lance would’ve told him he didn’t need to go missing for Keith to be uptight. 

Soon he couldn’t stand being in one place too long and he headed to lions hangar where he was bound to find Pidge and their little makeshift workstation. 

“Hey Keith,” they greeted unable to hide the lack of sleep in her voice. Dark circles had already begun to appear under her eyes. Pidge was notorious for their worrisome sleep habits. 

“You need to sleep,” Keith urged, “What if the Galra attack?” He leaned against the desk and frowned at their tired eyes. 

“Says you,” they grumbled, “And I’m actually being useful. I talked to Matt and he said he’d be on the lookout. I’m also trying to interpret the signals Allura is getting from Blue. Trying to follow where she’s feeling. So far I’ve only got a general direction. But we’re in space. There’s endless planets in that direction.” They ran their hands through their tangled hair. 

“What direction?” 

Pidge took out a mini version of Allura’s space map and pointed. As always they were right. Keith could see hundreds of planets and moons Blue could’ve landed on. There was also hundreds of suns the shutdown lion could’ve ran into. Keith held back a frustrated noise as to not discourage the green paladin. 

“That’s more helpful than nothing I guess,” Keith eventually said. 

Pidge gave him a no duh face and shut off the space map. They didn’t say another word to him as they began typing on their laptop. Keith stayed for a little bit before pushing himself off the desk and stopping at Blue’s empty space. 

Red reached out to him and reassured him that Blue was fine. And if Blue was fine Lance should be fine too. Keith sighed and faced his lion. He leaned on her paw and welcomed the fiery warmth that clouded his head. 

“Can you?” he started, “Can you feel if he’s fine?” He stared up at Red’s mechanical face. 

Sympathy cooled down Red’s fire as she told him that Lance wasn’t in Blue. Keith jerked away from the lion. She hadn’t said if Lance was dead, just not in Blue. With some new hope Keith went on with his aimless wandering. 

Keith hadn’t realized how much he was hanging out with Lance. How much his obnoxious taunting had filled his day. It seemed so cliche to say when someone on your team went missing, but the halls felt bigger than they used to, emptier. The feeling wormed its way through Keith’s gut and ate at his thoughts. He wished he’d stayed with Red longer. Her warmth and reassurance was definitely comforting. 

He stopped in some hallway and looked around. His surroundings were familiar as they ran throughout the whole castle but not. Somehow Keith was lost. He’d spaced out and must’ve took a random turn. 

There was a door nearby. Maybe it lead to another hallway. Seeing as there was no harm in trying he opened the door and stopped. Instead of white walls and blue lighting he was met with green grass and blue skies. In the distance there was a little shack with bales of hay and a single cow. So this is where they kept Kaltenecker. 

Keith hesitantly approached the cow that Pidge and Lance had gotten from the space mall. The animal mooed softly looking at Keith with apparent confusion. Suddenly he noticed there were things lying around the shelter. 

An Altean equivalent of a folding chair lay open facing away from the doors. Blankets were neatly adjusted beside the chair and decorative pillows were thrown about. There was an empty cup lying on its side remnants of some beverage still remaining. There was a picture carefully laid in the chair. 

Keith picked it up and examined it. Lance was in the center one arm raised and another pulling an annoyed Keith into a side hug. Hunk had his arm over Lance’s shoulder and was smiling wide, eyes shut. Pidge was at the very bottom peering up at the camera with a smirk. Shiro stood behind Keith looking at the camera with a fond look. Allura and Coran stood politely in the back giving their usual diplomatic smiles but with more warmth and care. Looking closer, Lance’s eyes were open and looking at Keith with mischievous blue irises. His smile somehow was even wider than Hunk’s and his cheeks were glowing. 

Frowning, Keith set down the object. He tried to remember when the photo was taken but he couldn’t. It kinda saddened him because everyone seemed so happy. Even his own annoyed face was cheery. How could he have forgotten such a happy moment. He turned the picture over to see a date. July 28th. 

What was today? How long has it been since that day? Time in space was so off with the different planets they visited and all the different cycles they had. Honestly he didn’t even know if they had a consistent sleep schedule. 

He wondered who set this up. He sat on the blankets and stared at the blue sky. If he forgot he was on the castle it was almost as if he was on Earth. Suddenly he wished that it felt more real. Instead of being room temperature he wanted the sun’s warmth. Just like in his old shack. 

His peace was broken when the doors opened. Keith tensed and looked behind him to see a surprised Hunk. 

“Oh,” the boy said, “I didn’t expect you to be here.” He smiled and started feeding Kaltenecker strands of hay. You could still see the worried lines creasing his eyebrows and the anxious trembling of his hands. 

“I kinda found this place on accident,” admitted Keith, “I knew Kaltenecker was somewhere on the ship. I didn’t know she was here.” 

 

Hunk nodded and pet the cow one more time before sitting in the chair beside Keith. He held the photo Keith had noticed earlier and stared at it sadly. 

“You know this is all Lance’s?” he spoke abruptly, not really directing the question at Keith. 

“No.”

Hunk smiled as he looked up at the sky. “This was Lance’s favorite part of the castle. It reminded him of Earth. Everytime I came with him he would go on and on about his family.”

Keith looked at him curiously. 

“Lance is my best friend,” continued the yellow paladin, “I was wary of him at first when we were first roomed together. He was incredibly annoying. But then I walked in on him one time while he was particularly homesick. He tried to push me away and annoy me more but I hugged him and he broke. After that we became best friends. No one else understood the sudden change. And then Pidge came along. Lance tried to make them comfortable in his own unique way.” 

Hunk dropped the photo and looked at Keith. Dropping his smile and meeting Keith’s eyes he whispered with a heart crushing fear. “What if he doesn’t come back?” His voice cracked and tears sprang to his eyes. 

Keith was never good at comforting people. When someone would cry he would panic and start yelling at him. It was one of many reasons he never had much friends. So when Hunk began to cry he froze before awkwardly patting Hunk’s shoulder. 

“You know what Lance would say right now?”

“What?”

“You’re terrible at comforting people.”

Keith began to laugh as he imagined Lance saying that with an obnoxious grin. Hunk joined him because he knew he was completely right. They laughed for a little while before staring back up into the sky. 

“Hunk,” Keith said, “We will get Lance back and then we’ll make those Galra soldiers pay.”

Hunk smiled and sat up carefully placing the photo down and walking out without a word. Keith sighed, suddenly missing the company. He pulled his legs to his chest and laid his head on his knees.

 

[Lance’s POV]

When he woke up everything was blurry. His head hurt and his chest ached. Leaning over the arm of his seat he threw up. 

Looking around he began to worry. Their were screens looking out into space. He could see the blue planet that was Earth. 

A familiar presence filled his mind. It was a cold rush of worry and anger and love. 

“...Blue?” he breathed in confusion. 

She seemed to recoil as she dug through his mind. Lance frowned and stood from his seat. Picking up his cracked helmet he looked at the mess around him. He carefully put the helmet on his head and searched through the ship for a personal aircraft. How did he even know one was there?

He exited the lion ship and landed on a grayish white surface. When he lifted his foot he saw that he made a deep imprint. There were craters surrounding him. Some bigger than the others. Lance was on the moon. 

He could even see the sun. It was warm. 

He laid down and breathed in and out trying to ignore the pain in his head. He should probably get that patched up. Reluctantly he sat up and limped back to the lion. Inside he felt his eat until his fingers heat a bleeding gash. 

“Is there bandages in here?” he wondered aloud.

With a shock Blue flooded his mind with that chilly presence. Lance gasped in surprise. She urged him to a small compartment where there was a first aid sorta thing. He took a gauze roll and wrapped it around the general area of his head. He took a large bandage and stuck it to the right of his eye. 

He sat in the pilot seat. “How are you sentient?” Lance asked, “You need so much repairs.” He frowned and hummed thoughtfully to himself. 

“Can you direct me to tools?” 

The lion’s conscience directed him to another compartment. 

Lance spent a while fixing anything he could. Somehow he could fix more things than he expected. Which was only like two things but still. He couldn’t remember where he even learned any engineering. Like focusing on such boring lessons was hard. 

After doing what he could he ate some food goo that was stored with the medical supplies. 

Still Lance felt dizzy and knew he probably had a concussion. He needed to fix the ship so he could get back home. 

Lance was mid chew when it hit him. 

Where was home? Who was his family?

Who was he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any mistakes please ignore them. I didn't have much time to edit them. Sorry for posting so late. I don't really have an excuse for that. If you want follow me on Tumblr @star_bookworm I don't post much but I would appreciate the support. Thank you!


	4. Missed Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's wrong with Lance. The paladins locate Blue only to be disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there is any warnings or triggers you would like me to give a warning for please tell me in the comments.

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

Lance dropped his food goo and felt his head. Why couldn’t he remember anything. He did a few math problems in his head and asked himself questions. He knew 20 multiplied by 30 was 600. He knew the difference between fruits and vegetables in those that were mixed. Yet he couldn’t remember where he was born. What day his birthday was. Who his mom was. All he knew was that his name was Lance. Not even the rest of his name. 

Every fact he didn’t know about himself was like a hit to the heart. Because he knew that simple things like his mom’s name were very important to him. Then there were questions that he needed answered. Like how he got up here in the first place and why was he here? 

“What are you, Blue?” he asked aloud, “Why am I here? How are you alive? How did I get you?’

He was holding his head in his hands and staring at the metal floors. Blue’s comforting presence filled his mind. It would’ve made Lance feel better if he knew why he was so close the ship’s conscience. Since he didn’t understand their bond, it only made him feel worse. 

“Thanks anyway,” he muttered before wincing as his temple throbbed, “I need to get help.” 

With a sad resignation Blue gave him a suggestion. Lance looked up, eyes widening. He shot up and opened a door that led to other parts of the ship. 

“Won’t go back to Earth,” he mumbled to himself as he made his was through the lion, “My family might be there and I don’t feel like dealing with that.” He looked down at his scorched hands with a plaintitive sigh. He didn’t want to hurt whoever his family was. Better he be dead than someone they didn’t know. Someone he didn’t know.

“Blue, can you somehow tell me where the nearest habitable planet is?” Lance wondered resuming his search.

The lion sent images and coordinates through his head. 

“That will have to do,” he sighed, “Anything I should be wary of?” 

More images and instructions flooded his mind.

“What’s a bayard?” he asked nearly reaching his destination, “A weapon, huh? Guess that could be useful. If I knew how to use this bayard.”

Finally he found what he was looking for. A small escape pod that should get him to the planet. Hurriedly, he jumped into the pod and looked at the controls. Knowledge from an unknown source told him exactly how to use the aircraft. 

With the press of a button and the pod was ready to go. With a mournful goodbye Blue opened up a door out. Lance returned her farewell and with one last adjustment, he was off. 

 

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

Keith slumped in his seat. The other paladins did the same around him as Allura walked up to turned from her spot in the control room. 

“It was a bit hard without Lance,” she said, “But I told you we could succeed.”

Keith looked at her with tiredness. “Yeah but what happens when the Galra reorganize themselves?”

“Hopefully that won’t happen before we find Lance,” Shiro answered, “But for now let’s just accept that we won.”

Shiro gave Keith a reassuring smile. Keith returned it with a grateful look. 

Pidge just groaned and Hunk seemed as if he fell asleep. 

Suddenly a loud ping resounded through the room. Pidge jolted and screens popped up in front of them. Their mouth dropped open and she started pressing various buttons. 

“What is it?” Coran wondered curiously twirling his bright orange moustache. 

“I’ve located Lance,” Pidge breathed before screeching in excitement. They balled their hands into fists and punched the air. 

Exhaustion forgotten, Keith ran over to Pidge’s side and looked at their screens. Hunk joined him and gasped. 

“That’s . . .”

“The moon,” Keith finished for him. 

“Allura, can you wormhole us there?” Shiro asked calmly with subtle excitement. 

Allura nodded and turned. The paladins watched anxiously as the wormhole opened up. They barely registered the usual swirling blue energy that surrounded the ship. When the castle finally landed on Earth’s moon the team could barely wait to exit the castle. 

Pidge jumped across the moon’s surface with ecstasy. Hunk giggled as he curled a ball and rolled through the air before landing. Keith couldn’t help but join in the fun and jumped as high as he could. Coran looked through craters with sounds of curiosity. Shiro was smiling softly as he looked at the Earth. 

“It’s been so long,” he breathed.

“So that’s your home planet?” the Altean princess wondered looking at the blue planet. 

The paladins all made sounds of confirmation.

“Of course Lance would go here,” Hunk said. 

Suddenly Keith remembered Red telling him Lance wasn’t in Blue. He jumped farther until he saw something Blue in the distance. “There!”

Everyone hurried to where Blue lay. She didn’t look too bad. No sparks flew from her figure and her eyes glowed yellow. She was there by choice. Lance ust be waiting for them. 

Keith made his way to the ship’s jaw. Blue opened up and let the team in. Hunk barreled past everyone and opened the door the pilot seat. He stopped abruptly and Keith watched in horror as his shoulders slumped. 

He pushed past the large boy and looked through the area. 

“He’s not here,” Keith mumbled, more to himself than anything. 

“There’s more rooms in the lion,” Pidge piped up, “He’s gotta be in here somewhere.”

Keith followed him but something itched at his brain. 

As they entered the last room a chill went through Keith. He stopped and froze as a presence entered his mind. It could only be Blue.

“Guys,” he said, “Blues” talking to me.”

They stopped and looked at him, wearing a mix of scared and hopeful expressions. 

A scene flashed before his eyes of Lance leaving the lion with an escape pod. Before she left Keith she gave him a warning and coordinates. 

“He left,” he gasped.

“What do you mean he left?” Shiro wondered. 

“He took an escape pod and flew to another planet.”

“Why would he do that?” Allura asked. 

“I don’t exactly know but Blue told me something bad happened to him,” Keith replied with a tremor in his voice. 

Pidge let out a watery hiccup and covered their face with their hands. Hunk’s eyes glazed over as he rubbed the green paladin’s back. 

Keith looked away from them trying to contain his own fear. 

“Blue gave me his coordinates but he could be anywhere on the planet now.”

Silence blanketed the room before Shiro spoke. 

“We better start looking as soon as possible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short. I'm just trying to get something in before my school starts in a few days. Hope you like it.


	5. Where was he? Who was he?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Galra really d get in the way. Lance crashes. Allura feels the Altean presence. New aliens with pronunciations I will have at the end. Note* If you were wondering this is an AU where when they defeat Zarkon the real Shiro comes from the fight alive and all. We'll delve into that topic sometime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello peeps. This is probably like my longest chapter but I was very motivated. I've been trying to avoid the toxicity some of the fandom is giving. I loved S7 (dont hate me) and it's not the best listening to people hate on something that brings you so much joy. I'm not saying it's wrong but I'm expressing my opinion. So again don't hate me and enjoy this non-edited chapter. <3

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

There was nothing between the lions or the castle but silence. And Keith was absolutely fine with that. If it was as noisy as usual he’d probably explode. It was hard enough holding himself together as it was. He was trying to muffle everything he was feeling. The fear, the sadness, the irrational anger, and frustration. 

Why was Lance so stupid? All the time. Wasn’t it Keith’s job to be reckless from the team? At least he usually made it out every time with little to no harm done. But every time Lance was a self-sacrificing idiot, he got hurt. Badly. 

Keith remembered how terrified he had felt when he had discovered the blue paladin splayed across the floor, armor scorched and face too blank to be /him/. The anxiety as he watched Lance sitting there in some comatose state, unsure if he would ever wake or not. The relief and nearly painful affection as Lance smiled at him tiredly and said those five words. We make a good team.

Now, who knows what Lance had gotten himself into this time? He ran away from his lion for Voltron’s sake. Lance loved Blue. What could’ve happened to make him run from her? She said something bad happened. It must’ve been really bad. 

Keith went over all the possibilities. Better ones: Lance just needed supplies for injuries. He was trying to find communication with the rest of the team. But considering Blue’s ominous warning, it was the worst possibilities that were more plausible. He could’ve been discovered by some hostile alien species that didn’t care for the powerful warship. He did need supplies for injuries, but much more dire ones. What if he-- 

“Keith?” 

Keith tightened his grip on Red’s controls in favor of jumping like a scared little kid. He looked at his screens to see Shiro’s worried face. “Yeah?” he muttered trying not to sound too strained. 

“Is everything okay?” the older man asked. 

“Why wouldn’t things be okay?” Keith asked dumbly. 

“You’ve nearly flown into about ten pieces of space debris,” explained Shiro with a wry smile, “And I’m not an expert on your flying but that seems unusual for you.” 

Keith could nearly hear Lance’s cocky remark. /No, that’s pretty usual for him/ the phantom Lance said. Keith frowned and looked away from Shiro’s gaze. “Yeah I guess I’m just a bit worried,” he admitted, “I mean why would Lance leave Blue? He’d never leave her! Not in a million years. Especially alone and damaged on some random moon. Not even /the/ Moon. None of it makes sense!” 

Before he could rant on Shiro stopped him. 

“Keith it’s gonna be fine. We’ll find him. We already know the planet he’s on. With our lions and the castle, how can we not find him? We’ve done things much harder-” Keith let out an agreeing noise, “And if he’s injured we’ll just put him in a healing pod and it’ll fix him right up. And if not….” The black paladin trailed off not wanting to finish. 

“Yeah, I guess,” agreed Keith not wanting t to entertain the notion for a second longer, “How far away is the planet anyway?”

“We should be there in a couple vargas,” replied Pidge suddenly popping up on Keith’s screen. This time he did jump. 

“Have you been listening this whole time?” he asked, red crawling up his neck.

“It’s not like you turned off the comms,” they shrugged giving him a warm smile that was laced with something Keith did not like, “I bet when we get Lance back he’ll sure be interested in how much you care for him.”

Keith opened his mouth ready to retort when he something stopped him. “Yeah,” he said only with somewhat of his own will. Pidge’s smile dropped and they cocked her head, examining him through the screen curiously. 

Hunk’s face joined the others on Keith’s screen. Except he was much more worried. 

“Umm, guys,” the yellow paladin frowned, “There’s a lotta Galra surrounding this planet. This could take much longer than we expected to find Lance.” His voice trembled and he looked like he was fiddling with his fingers. Keith empathized with the boy. 

Instead of replying Keith looked out his screen to confirm the fact. With more frustration than fear he did. There were hundreds of Galra ships and fleets sitting around the planet. Lance, why?

“Why are there so many?” Pidge wondered, voicing Keith’s thoughts.

Allura’s face popped up and the paladins prepared themselves for a mini-lesson on this planet. 

“This is planet Venellmet. They are known as natural born rebels and hunters. They grow up in tribes. No one hears much from them since they tend to stay hidden. Their appearance is rather close to one of a human or Altean but also has many resemblances to a predatory animal.” 

The princess showed the paladins an image of a Venellmetan. Their large fluffy ears remind Keith of various Galra but instead, each of the aliens had different colored ears that somehow fit their aura. Their skin was also tinged with the color of their ears. Keith couldn’t really see their eyes but he could guess they were just as oddly color as the rest of them. They wore what looked like some cropped hoodie with ripped sleeves. Except made from some animal hide and was held together at the front with thick thread. Instead of leaving their midriffs bare they had a gauze like-wrap covering their stomach and back. For pants, they wore simple leather leggings that looked incredibly similar to Earth leggings. They all seemed to have different types of weapons. Ones the paladins recognized, others were far beyond their knowledge. 

“It would make sense that the Galra are heavily assembled here. The Venellmetans are rather mischievous and stubborn in nature. They’ve probably been a real tirr in the Galra’s side. I remember some of my friends from Venellmet. They were an incredibly fun company to have.” Allura sighed with both nostalgia and weariness. 

“A real tirr in the Galra’s side indeed!” Coran said, “It seems like some of the ships have been damaged already.”

Coran was right which gave Keith some hope. Maybe these aliens could keep Lance safe before Voltron got there. But there was one problem. 

“I’m guessing we can’t just run headfirst into this battle,” sighed Keith.

“No,” agreed the princess, “With this many fleets it could take a few quintants to safely past the Galra.”

“A few days!” shouted Keith. 

Allura nodded solemnly. 

Keith was ready to burst. He shut of Red’s comms temporarily as he slammed his fist into the metal wall before laying a hand on the spot. “Sorry girl,” he whispered. Red purred back offering him reassurance and hope. Keith gladly burned in Red’s comforting flames. 

“Just..” he began to himself, “Just be alive when I get there you idiot.”

 

[Lance’s P.O.V. A week before]

Lance didn’t know how long he had been flying. Everything throbbed and he felt like drifting away every few seconds but that definitely wouldn’t do him any good. And there was barely anything to keep him away. Just a little game he’s been playing with himself for who knows how long. It was currently unnamed but had become one of his favorites. Every time he tried to give himself questions about his past he found a creative way to shoot it down. Observations. Supply checklists. Random trivia. Counting his wounds. Trying to somehow bandage those wounds. 

Soon the pain had made it hard to move and he had begun to run out of ways to distract himself. It was becoming harder and harder not to fall asleep right there and never wake up. But Lance had to figure out who he was and who he’d leave behind. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. So he had to stay alive. At least until something came back to him. 

Still, the thoughts didn’t keep him from letting his eyelids droop. Then in the next second, he was wide awake. He couldn’t tell if it was the low voice in his head that wasn’t his yelling his name or the bright purple some large ships were giving off. Lance went with these hostile looking ships and jerked up, ignoring the throb that went through his head at the sudden movement. 

Some of the ships seemed to be shooting at a certain area. Not going there then. But how was Lance supposed to get past the rest? He couldn’t go much longer without help and who knows how long it will take to find another planet? 

Lance supposed it was die getting past these ships or dying in the blank vastness of space. Not ever knowing anything else but random knowledge and this scattering of stars. He was going to get shot down before he laid back and stargazed as he slowly bled out. 

Before he moved forward he looked over all the buttons. He pressed one that looked the most human on some urge. The escape pod seemed to ripple for a moment before something popped up on his screen. It read, “Cloaking has been activated.” Underneath the writing was a small cartoonish kid with short hair and glasses. Annoying laughs played before the notice disappeared. 

Was Lance...invisible?

Guess he would just have to find out. 

He lurched the steering forward and ignored the pain his side gave him. He went in front of a smaller purple ship experimentally. The ship didn’t respond and if Lance wasn’t so exhausted both physically and mentally he would’ve pumped his fist in the air. He better move quickly then in case this cloaking wore off. 

He dodged several ships and made it into the atmosphere unharmed. He didn’t know whether to smile in triumph or frown for what’s in store for him. He settled on keeping an impassive face and focusing on landing. 

He almost landed perfectly when an odd tarp-like thing covered his screen. He frowned and tried to gain some control but failed. 

He let out a sharp yelp as the ship crashed into the planet’s surface. The impact shook rattled the bones under his skin and amplified the pain that had grown in his side since he left that odd warship. 

Lance could feel his consciousness slipping away. He tried to hold on to whatever he had left to keep his lids from closing. In the end, he gave up and fell back in his seat. The world spun and turned black.

 

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

Keith shot down another ship when he heard Allura gasp abruptly. 

“Princess!” Shiro shouted, “Is everything all right?”

“An Altean energy!” she gasped, “An Altean pod is on that planet. It’s been there for days.”

“Days?” the paladins asked.

“It’s empty,” continued Allura, “Lance has been here almost all this time.”

Keith maneuvered Red and sliced through several ships with her tail.

“We’re coming, Lance,” Red growled alongside them and they fought the Galra with a new fervor.

[Lance’s P.O.V. A week before]

Lance shot up and gasped for air. Voices swirled around him as he regained his sense of feeling. He noticed almost immediately that he wasn’t feeling any pain. 

“He’s awake!”

“He’s human?”

“I suspected so.” 

“He’s of no use.”

“I think not. He survived the crash.”

Lance suddenly saw a smiling face. He cocked his head trying to understand if this was all real. If he wasn’t dead. If he’d woken up in the afterworld with ‘cat people’. That was his temporary name for the creature that stood before him. 

The first thing he noticed was the ears. They were larger than that of any animal known of on Earth. And they were purple! Lance might’ve lost his memory but he was pretty sure that wasn’t natural on Earth either. The large ears melded into dusty blonde hair that lay cropped on what must’ve been the male’s head. The cat person’s eyes were just as purple which sent an odd pang to Lance’s heart. There were purple freckles dusted across his face. His limbs were long-limbed and frighteningly pale. Yet perfect. 

He wore some purple vest like thing with no sleeves and a thick thread in the front that held it together. Wrappings lay across the male’s stomach and leather leggins met the end of them. Something like a gun sat in a holster that lay across the cat person’s hip.

“What are you?” Lance asked. 

‘Ah,” the alien began, voice rough yet smooth, “I forget, humans are ignorant little things. They don’t know of other life in the universe.” 

“No,” denied Lance, “I’ve met other aliens...I don’t exactly know when or how but I have. I don’t remember them either.” 

The alien cocked his head and looked at Lance with a familiar curiosity.

“Have I met...you? Before?” Lance wondered. 

“No,” he said, “My name is Acrijwin. I am of the Venellmetans. I am the most skilled of my tribe. What are you called?”

“Lance.”

Acrijwin nodded as if he was filling the information in his head. “I suppose you have more questions as well.”

“Plenty,” Lance muttered. 

The Venellmetan smiled, “Shoot.”

So Lance had been taken down by the tribe of Venellmetans, mistaken as an enemy ship. Acrijwin and the hunters of his tribe searched the ship to find Lance, barely living, on his last breaths. They took him back to the tribe and one of the healers gave him Olynga medicine that basically allowed his body to heal his body unnaturally fast. Acrijwin was tasked to watch him since he was the most sociable. They thought it would be easier for Lance. 

When he was finished explaining everything Lance’s head began to hurt. 

“If that medicine is supposed to cure all then why does my head hurt?” 

Acrijwin pursed his lips in concern, “Some things are harder to heal. The brain is a complicated thing.”

“So something’s wrong with my head?” Acrijwin nodded, “And it’s gonna be like this for a while?” Another nod. Lance ran a hand through his hair. “What do I do now?”

“How about I introduce you to my hunters,” suggested Acrijwim, “You may be in need of knowing our culture. You could be here for quite a bit.”

Lance didn’t like the idea but he’d do whatever he could to find himself again. “Yeah,” he mumbled, “I’d like to meet them.”

Acrijwin offered a hand and Lance took it. He tried standing from the tall cot before he stumbled, eventually relying on Acrijwim’s support. When he walked out of what appeared to be a tent he nearly gasped. Tall trees surrounded a large clearing with an entire village in it. Though the enemy ships were very visible people bustled through the little paths with a natural grace. All of Venellmet seemed to be long-limbed and tall. It reminded Lance of his own build. Except they were much taller. Acrijwin suddenly seemed short compared to the rest of his tribe. 

Lance looked directly in front of him to see five other aliens surrounding him and Acrijwin in a semicircle. 

The shortest was one with green ears and short tawny hair. Their smile bled with sugar but their lily pad green eyes spoke volumes of trickery and fun. The had a deep green vest and leggings. Their signature weapons seemed to be several small daggers.

The tallest had back hairs that sprang from white hair like salt and pepper. His aura was serious but his eyes burned with enough warmth to melt metal or make hot chocolate. He wasn't smiling but Lance could tell if he was anything other than happy you wouldn’t be able /not/ to tell. He was missing an arm and Lance couldn’t see his weapon. 

The girl who had her arm slung on his shoulder had pink ears that melted into the same white hair, indicating their relationship. She was nearly bouncing on the balls of her feet, quite the opposite of her brother. Her pink eyes welcomed you in and her bright smile nearly blinded you. Lance imagined gossiping with her for hours. She’d look completely harmless if it wasn’t for the blue whip coiled around her waist accenting her pink vest and leggings. 

Standing over her shoulder was an older man, more likely a teacher of some sort. His orange eyes were kind and warm. He seemed to be fond of playing with the fur on his ears like a human would a mustache. Lance felt that pang again. The one that he had begun to connect to him forgetting something important. 

The last hunter he saw was a tall bulking figure brimming with a friendliness that seemed to match the pale yellow f his ears. He had a large blaster slung across his back. His shy smile was too familiar for Lance’s heart and he had to look away. 

Taking a second to recover Lance raised a hand and grinned sort of off to the side, avoiding looking at the yellow and green Venellmetans. “Hey,” he greeted, “I’m Lance.”

“Lance,” the orange one said as if testing the name, “Well hello Lance I’m Gekvide, the Lead hunter. I taught all these younguns since I was their age. Maybe I could teach you a thing or two.” 

Before Lance could respond the salt and pepper one spoke. 

“Hi, Lance,” Lance could hear the warmth of leadership ingrained in his voice, “I’m Linthu, the Lead in training.” He held out a very human hand and Lance took it feeling the strength in Linthu’s handshake alone. 

“I’m Linthu’s sister, Strolry, I sometimes help with Lead training but I plan on being tribe Leader in place of our father,” the perky Venellmetan said once Linthu’s hand fell to his side She didn’t offer a handshake but instead smiled even wider, her eyes shutting close. Lance returned the smile, unable to deny the sheer beauty of her face. It reminded him of...Lance felt like smacking himself upside the head when he couldn’t find that name that was so important to him.

“I’m Tekve and this big trelp is Moadig, we’re the brains of the hunters.” The green-eared one indicated to her and the taller one. “Acrijwim is what we like to call the Heart of the hunters.”

The hunters exchanged a look filled with sorrow and happiness. Acrijwim looked particularly fond as they seemed to all remember something. Lance crossed his arms feeling more out place than he had before. He felt like he was invading something, yet at the same time, it all felt so right. It was like Lance had the puzzle pieces but he didn’t have the picture to put together. And every second he saw the way the hunters interacted and everything felt so familiar. 

The ache in Lance’s heart hurt so badly. It frustrated him beyond words. Painfully, Lance came to a decision. He would leave whoever he used to be behind. From what he could tell about himself whoever he left behind wouldn’t care much either. So Lance was going to become someone new. Anything to get rid of the nagging pain in his chest. 

“Hey, Gekvide,” Lance said startling the Lead, “Can I become a hunter?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here are some name pronunciations. I don't exactly know how to write the accent but keep in mind there's a slight accent that like slurs parts of the words and ish. So yeah. 
> 
> Acrijwin - Ack-cree-chwin  
> Gekvide - Geck-veede  
> Linthu - Lin-too  
> Strolry - Stroll-reh  
> Tekvee - Teck-vee  
> Moadig - Mow-dig
> 
> Tirr basically means thorn. Also when Tekvee called Moadig a trelp she was referring to a Venellmetan creature with large bunny-like ears and super soft fur. Basically an evolved Minccino. Also when Acrijwim says shoot he isn't aware of Earth customs he's referring to a tribe say about shooting your questions like arrows, straight, true, and requires strength. 
> 
> So I hoped you liked this chapter I really enjoyed writing it. You can find my tumblr under Stray Fangirl or star_bookworm. I shoud really know but I'm too lazy to check. If you wanna make fanart or anything I wouldnt mind at all *wink-wink* So byeeee<3


	6. Turning a New Leaf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance plays a training game. Keith realizes something that could either be really good or really bad (Hehum good ;) Hostile ships invading the tribe's village. The team decides to enter the atmosphere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any triggers, read carefully. I don't know exactly what to count as possible triggers so please if anything so much as makes you uncomfortable in that sense please tell me in the comments. <3

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

They were taking a break in the castle. Keith knew the break would be good for him but all he wanted to do was jump right back into battle. Anything to get to Lance faster. Keith stared down at his green food goo with sudden confusion. 

Why did he care so much about getting Lance back? Yeah, they were teammates but that didn’t explain the intensity of his worry or push down on the urge to just barrel through the Galra ships an grab Lance. 

A purr echoed in the back of his mind. Keith pushed away from the blue lion in denial. Blue had started to commonly speak with Keith as if he was her paladin. Keith wouldn’t mind if she didn’t keep shoving unwanted emotions in his face. 

“I think it’s time to continue fighting,” Allura stated already standing from her seat. 

Keith eagerly followed suit and pushed away his unfinished plate. 

He didn’t hesitate, tearing apart the first Galra ship he saw

[Lance’s P.O.V. 5 days earlier]

Lance looked in the mirror and then at his armor that now stood on some mannequin, clean of his blood. Without it, he felt vulnerable in more ways than one. But he tore his gaze away knowing this was just something he needed to leave behind in order to become a new person. 

So he slipped into the clothes Acrijwim had given him for hunter training. The deep blue vest fit him nearly perfectly as well as did the legging. Lance looked at the wrappings in his hand and tried his best to wrap it around his stomach. Before he left the small hut he took the strange weapon that he had crashed with. A weapon was a weapon no matter how much he wanted to leave everything behind. 

“I’m ready,” he said to the blue Venellmetan that had been waiting outside. 

Acrijwim gave him a strange grin before pushing himself off the hut wall. “The hunters are waiting at the training area,” he said as they began walking through the tribe village, “They expect you to be weak.” 

Lance frowned, something well-known rolling through his stomach. “They’re not wrong,” he admitted softly. The sad feeling was all too familiar to the boy. He startled when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. 

“Well then I must be wrong,” Acrijwim smiled, “For I believe you are stronger than you let on.” 

Lance’s eyes widened. Warmth seeped through his heart and suddenly he was experiencing something new. It made him both happy and sad. How uncommon was it for someone to say something like that to him before?

Soon they were stepping about of the tribe borders and into the forest. Lance couldn’t stop staring at the trees. At the way they never seemed to stop. The sky faded around several of them as if the trees went well into space itself. 

“Hey there,” a voice whispered into his ear. 

Instinctively Lance grabbed onto his weapon and pointed it in the voice’s direction. He immediately felt guilty when he saw the cross-eyed stare of Tekvee, looking curiously at his mysterious weapon. She was leaned forward, hands behind her back and green ears twitching. 

“Hmm,” muttered the alien, “Decent reflexes.”

“Admit it,” Moadig laughed appearing beside Lance, “You’d be injured had he activated his weapon.” 

Tekvee pouted straightening. “The scratch on my nose wouldn’t compare the dead body we’d have to bury,” she grumbled only partly serious. She only groaned more when a hand ruffled her hair. 

“Your denial is beginning to remind me of Acrijwim,” Linthun grinned. That caused both Tekvee and Acrijwim to squawk defensively. 

Laughter bubbled out of Lance and he refrained from making an additional comment, uncertainty making his chuckles quiet. 

“You made the human laugh!” Abruptly Strolry hung upside down from a tree she had been waiting in. Her silver hair tumbled down thickly even though it was in a ponytail. She smiled brightly and Lance blushed at the attention. 

She dropped down. Somehow Lance was now facing all the hunters. Gekvide had joined them silently and was fiddling with his ears. 

“I think we’re ready for training.”

Lance nodded dumbly. Suddenly he was nervous about what was to come. Nervous that he would inevitably fail in front of the skilled hunters. The fear didn’t feel very new. Like before he’d feel it every day at least. 

“I think you all know what Lance’s first training session will be.” Gekvide gave the hunters a playful smirk. They perked up suddenly, a kiddish excitement lighting up their faces. 

Lance was slightly overwhelmed when they swarmed around him yelling, “Filkner! Filkner!” But then he got used to the loud voices and began laughing. Somehow in the last minute, the environment had become home and the rising childish voices felt just right. He forgot all about the problem with his head and the doubt that had crept in. 

“Okay,” panted Lance, wiping tears from his eyes, “Can you tell me what Filkner is?”

Gekvide looked like he was about to speak before laying a supportive hand on Linthu’s shoulder.Linthu looked up surprised before somehow smiling even wider than before. 

“Well when we first started hunter training Gekvide made us play the game Filkner,” he began, “We stayed in a clearing with a clear border. One of us stayed in the middle while the others sneak around the border. The middle hunter would guess a corner with the most people in it and they’d be eliminated. At first, it seems like a child’s game but then our stealth increases as well as other alerting senses.”

Lance felt a small urge to lower their expectations so if he failed it wouldn’t disappoint them too much. He opened his mouth to say something along the lines of ‘this is child’s play’ before he caught himself. However, he used to be wasn’t going to affect him from doing his very best and owning up to his mistakes. 

“Well, I guess it's time for me to learn.” He stepped forward and straightened his posture. “I still get some pointers though, right?”

Linthu nodded reassuringly before assigning Moadig as Midetan (Middle Venellmetan) and waited as the hunter shut his eyes. “One more warning, Lance,” he said with an eager smile, “One round can go for hours.”

Lance’s eyes widened involuntarily. Then Moadig began counting from twenty and the hunters around him scurried off soundlessly. Lance moved as carefully as he possibly could before crunching his foot on a leaf. He winced. Great, he had already failed. He looked up ready to see a disappointed look. Instead, he saw the softened face of Acrijwim. 

Acrijwim pointed to his feet. He deliberately set his heel down first on a patch of grass before letting out a soft, steady breath. He slightly crouched and pulled his arms close to him before taking another step. His eyes darted beneath him then ahead of him before he jumped soundly and silently on a wet leaf. 

Lance watched in awe as Acrijwim walked over the terrain without making a noise. He mimicked the alien’s crouch and turned around on his heel. He stepped heel first on a soft patch of grass, surprised when no noise met his ears. He went slowly knowing with practice, someday, he could move effortlessly without making a sound. But for now, he steadied his breath as much as possible and let his eyes dart around, assessing the earth beneath him. 

“2...1...done,” Moadig said softly. 

Lance watched anxiously as the alien’s ears moved and his human-dog nose twitched. For a second he thought he saw surprise come over the yellow Venellmetan’s face before the alien came to a decision. 

Moadig whirled and pointed to where Acrijwim stood, shock openly displayed on his face. Acrijwim looked just as shocked and Lance knew he wore the same expression. 

Giggles erupted around the clearing and Lance saw both Strolry and Tekvee covering their mouths. Acrjwim looked at them with confusion before understanding dawned and he went over to them and slapped them on the arms. They looked unfazed and didn’t bother to explain anything to the other hunters. 

“Good job, Lance,” Linthu said, that warm feeling spreading through Lance again, “Looks like you beat Acriwjim.” 

“You won’t next time,” the purple-eyed boy grumbled looking down at the ground, red rushing to his pale face, “You just got lucky.”

“Oooh,” Tekvee drawled, “This is something I haven’t seen since you first started training.”

“Let’s just hope he doesn't become as cocky as he was then,” Moadig said. He smiled innocently at the death stare Acrijwim sent him. 

Everything about the exchange hit close to Lance’s heart but felt new at the same time. And he couldn't tell why. Not wanting to earn a headache he suggested moving on. 

“Okay,” Moadig said, plopping down on the ground and shutting his eyes, “20...19...18.”

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

They were getting closer and closer every passing hour. Still, it was not fast enough for Keith’s buzzing nerves. With every ship he tore down he seemed to grow even more anxious. The others noticed and tried to keep him as relaxed as possible. It worked somewhat but all he could think about was Lance. 

That explained why his favorite place now was in that pile of blankets that faced the Earth-like sky. He often found himself examining that picture over and over again, pondering the date and all their expressions. Hunk often came along with him and sat in the chair silently. 

They were there now staring quietly up at the sunless, blue sky. That’s where they were when Keith jolted up wearing a horrified expression. Unexpected tears brimmed over his eyes. The action was so unlike Keith, Hunk began to panic. 

“Hey,” he murmured pulling Keith into a hug, “Hey buddy, everything alright?”

“No,” Keith replied unable to keep his voice from cracking. Hunk frowned at the openness and pulled Keith closer. 

“What’s up?”

“Hunk,” Keith hesitated, “I think I...I think I like Lance.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. We all knew your rivalry thing was just a joke.”

“No, I think I like, like him.” 

Hunk opened his eyes and pushed Keith away, observing the red paladin’s face. Said boy’s face was shocked, red, and wet with tears. Keith looked like he was just as shocked as Hunk was at the confession. 

“Oh,” Hunk said simply before pulling Keith into an even tighter hug, “That’s most definitely a surprise. But, Keith, we will get him back. We will get him back /alive/.”

Keith returned the hug awkwardly putting his arms around the large teen’s figure. Emotions were running through his mind like it was some race. And he was stunned by his own discovery. He liked Lance. So many things made sense yet so many things became even more unclear. But one thing was clear. Somehow Keith liked the idiot of a paladin. 

“Hunk,” Keith said. 

“Yeah?”

“When we get Lance back I’m screwed.”

Hunk laughed, “I promise not to tell Pidge.”

“That sure would help.”

[Lance’s P.O.V. 6 days earlier]

Lance collapsed on the hut’s floor dramatically. 

“I think you guys intend to kill me,” he groaned.

They hadn’t really done anything but Filkner but Linthu had been right. The game lasted from morning to night with only about three rounds. Lance had gotten much closer to victory than he had expected. Than any of the hunters had expected. Even optimistic Acrijwim who two out of three times got eliminated before Lance and sat out gloomily as the others played. Lance could already feel his new stealth as he walked back to the Hunter Hut. While he still made much more noise than the Venellmetans, he was a lot quieter than before. 

He was just as surprised as the Venellmetans at his quick progress. It made Lance want to find out what he had done before to let him slip into the skill so easily. But he immediately pushed that urge down and talked with the hunters. 

It was still a bit hard to stare at the rest of the hunters without a sight longing that Lance didn’t understand. Talking to Acrijwim was easiest for him but he still joked and laughed with the hunters. It filled some empty part of him. A new puzzle piece to add to his new picture. /Your family, idiot/ mumbled that same voice from before. From when he was stranded in the open space, dying. 

He looked up at the stars through a purposeful hole in the ceiling. They looked so beautiful from down on the ground. It was so different than actually being near one. Lance couldn’t decide which view was more stunning. Far away, where you only touched the twinkling lights in your dreams, wistful. Up close, where you got so close the fire reflected on your face. So close you fear getting hurt. 

/Who are you?/ Lance thought to the mysterious voice thinking about how he must’ve gotten more than just amnesia. His sanity must have left him completely when he crashed into Venellmet. 

The voice laughed, a deep rough sound that made Lance’s stomach twist uncomfortably with nerves. /I’m a part of you that you wish to hide from everyone. The part of you that actually cares about what people think/

“Lance?”

Lance shot up from his position and met a purple gaze. 

Acrijwim’s brows drew in worry. “You aren’t that tired right?” he asked worriedly. 

“Nah,” Lance said truthfully, “I’m just being dramatic.”

“Dramatic?” Acrijwim echoed settling on the floor next to Lance, “I wonder who would win in a dramatic contest. You, me, or Gekvide.” 

Lance pursed his lips and frowned with false thoughtfulness. “I would’ve said me in a heartbeat but with every second of knowing the alien I can’t tell if he’s just being dramatic or is truly that insane.” 

Acrijwim laughed and Lance watched him carefully as his head tilted to the sky. “I’ve known the Ven all my life and I still can’t tell.” 

Lance opened his mouth then closed it, hesitating. “He reminds me of someone from before,” Lance finally said, too soft for any human to hear. But Acrijwim’s large ears twitched and he turned to the now quiet boy. 

The Ven suddenly laid his head on Lance’s shoulders and Lance kept himself from jumping, the purple ears tickling his neck. “Well whoever he was he was probably great but now you’ve got us,” mumbled Acrijwim firmly. 

Lance felt that same longing to chase after the loose thread but stopped. Instead of tying it up he cut it off. He settled for leaning on top of Acrijwim’s blond head and blushing slightly. This was most definitely new for both him and who he was before. 

They probably would’ve fallen asleep and woke up clichely cuddling if a girl with the same purple ears as Acrijwim came running through the doorway. She only slightly stumbled when she saw them sitting there before tapping Acrijwim on the shoulder. 

He met her wide eyes and his face immediately hardened. 

“The Galra have invaded.” 

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

“They seem to be directing their fire at that certain location!” Coran shouted into the comms. 

“Should we attack them and protect the people or go where they’re less dense and protect the people from within the atmosphere?” Hunk asked. 

“Within!” shouted Keith with a growl as he shot down yet another ship.

“Though I know there was no logic behind that statement I agree,” Shiro replied. 

“It’s a faster way to get to both Lance and the Venellmetans,” Pidge bursted before going silent again as she attacked a ship that was shooting at the castle. 

“Looks like we’ve already decided then,” Allura said, “Let’s get there as fast as we can then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm like two chapters ahead now so yay. I literally hurt my legs sitting for hours as I wrote this and another personal project. Can't tell if that's good or bad. *Shrug* But hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	7. He Can Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance stands up from himself. His Bayard finally activates. Keith thinks. Tekvee was wrong. Witch-woman appears and does something (you know who she is). Lance passes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any triggers please comment them. The moment you feel slightly uncomfortable stop. I don't want to hurt anyone. Please enjoy!

[Lance’s P.O.V. 5 days earlier]

“The Galra?”

“You know those large purple ships. Well, those are the Galra’s. The Galra have conquered many planets and their empire reigns almost completely across the universe. It’s astounding and horrible. We fight back with what we’ve got,” he turned and gave Lance a rogue grin that Lance suddenly wanted to stare at, “And we’ve lasted for years. We’re undefeatable in defense.”

He grabbed his guns and tugged Lance’s wrist. “Grab your strange weapon,” he commanded, “Even as a hunter-in-training you will fight.”

“Something tells me that I can fight,” Lance said, grabbing the odd thing, “So let’s fight.” He returned Acrijwim’s rogue grin with a dark one of his own. Experience from who knows where kicked in and pushed down at his anxiety. And he wouldn’t give in to his reflex to lower everyone’s expectations. This wasn’t training. People’s lives were at stake. 

The weapon in his hand seemed to flicker before returning to its normal state. Lance tried to figure the thing out as they rushed to meet with their tribe’s hunters before all the hunters from nearby tribes gathered. 

Tekvee noticed them first a dagger ready in hand. “The others are fighting off the invading Galra. I’m trying to get into the sentries system so we only have to fight the flesh ones,” she informed before her eyes darted to Lance. “He’s not fighting is he?” 

“He’s fighting,” Acrijwim answered, “Something tells me he’s had his own fair share of battles. Plus, we need all the help we can get.”

“He’s but a human!” Tekvee shouted, “Not only that he’s still in training. He’s not ready.”

Acrijwim opened his mouth to defend the human when Lance pushed him out of the way. Acrijwim looked at him, shocked. 

“I may not remember what I've been through but I’ve been through enough. I made it on this planet alive. Past those stupid ships. I survived long enough for you to heal me. I also know waking up on Earth’s moon inside a giant lion warship-” Lance noted the aliens’ eyes widening,”-with memory loss and multiple injuries that I’ve gone through something. I may be a normal human but I will do anything to protect the tribe’s families!” He stared into Tekvee’s green eyes with a fierce fire. Saying families only made Lance’s resolve harden. 

“Sentries down,” was all Tekvee said, “Come back safe!” Then she ran ahead and disappeared into the night. 

He looked back to see a shocked Acrijwim. “What?” 

Acrjwim didn’t answer for a bit just staring at Lance with lilac eyes and slack mouth. His cheeks were red and he was speechless. Lance frowned and tilted his head trying to see if Acrijwim was having a panic attack or something. 

“Your weapon,” Acrijwim finally let out. 

Lance looked down to see it was neither dormant or flickering. Instead, he held a blue compound bow. When he felt his back a magical quiver lay waiting, full of arrows. 

“I knew you were smarter and stronger than you let others see.” Acrijwim smiled and gripped Lance’s wrist yet again. “Let’s go.”

Lance smiled, much more happy and optimistic than the one from the hut. Heat flooded through his body and he ran into battle with the hunters as one of their own. 

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

The castle landed in the tallest patch of trees they could find with no guarding Galra. The paladins and Alteans were preparing for a long trip on foot. 

Keith wanted to go by a lion but Allura insisted it would attract too much attention and maybe even cause more ships to flank Venellmet. Keith was reluctant to agree and just began packing. He wanted to get to Lance--his /crush/ as fast as possible. 

Ever since Keith realized he liked Lance he suddenly understood every urge he’s had since Lance went missing. It also made him worry more about when Lance got back. So now he was worried about getting Lance back and what would happen when he did. 

Keith could ignore his feelings and wait for them to go away. But Keith especially knew that wasn’t gonna happen. And if he told Lance... Would Lance be disgusted? Would he kindly reject Keith in a way that hurts ten times more? Keith didn’t want to know. He’d just have to wait until it becomes something that needed to be dealt with. 

He didn’t pack much. His knife lay at the bottom, the one that helped him realize his Galraness. He packed his usual clothes if he ever felt like changing out of his armor, Lance’s jacket (he didn't even want to acknowledge why), and extra supplies. Guessing what the others packed wasn't hard but Keith just jumped into the pod that lowered them to the ground and waited impatiently for them to finish whatever they were doing. 

Soon they were on the very Earth-like terrain, crunching leaves beneath their feet. Not as soon as Keith would like but he did consider their pace rather fast for the number of people in their group. Keith tried to keep his temper in check; he knew they were trying their hardest to save Lance. Just like he was. 

He looked up and he could see the Galra ships in the sky, like dozens of moons. The sheer amount of them made Keith feel slightly nauseous. What if they had already got to him? If he was dead or worse, they were torturing him while Keith walked in the open--angry about a stupid crush and frustrated with his own emotions. As well as the incapability to just appear in front of a healthy, happy Lance. 

After a day of walking, Keith laid his head down on the softest patch of grass-like plants and tried to ignore the sounds of very distant gunshots, none sounding like the familiar form Lance’s Bayard formed. Eventually, he fell into a fitful sleep. 

[Lance’s P.O.V. 5 days earlier]

It was surprisingly easy for Lance just to roll into battle. He was still getting used to the bow & arrows but his aim was impeccable so he must’ve had good aim before. He was taking out soldiers from the left to the right, getting anyone who got close to the hand to hand combat hunters. With each shot he had to remind himself of the families these Galra will—and have already killed. 

Sometimes the Galra got a little too close to him and he did his best to fight them off with a single sharp arrow. But he definitely got injured. Ignoring the pain of laser burns on his chest and arms he shot down a soldier before it could swipe at the tiny Tekvee. The arrow landed directly in the heart and poofed away with a shimmer, reappearing in Lance’s neverending quiver. 

One by one, the soldiers went down. Lance felt like crying in joy when he saw no Venellmetan bodies on the ground. That was before his fell to the ground. His vision tilted as he brought himself to his knees. 

He saw his tribe of hunters rush to him. That felt nice to say, he thought with a dazed grin, /his/ tribe. Nearly falling to his face, the hunters caught him. He didn’t meet their colorful gazes as they pulled him up to his feet. He clumsily fell into the nearest hunter, relishing in the comforting warmth. 

Tekvee looked him in the face and peered up at his eyes. 

“You were right,” Lance mumbled, voice slurred, “Wasn’t ready.”

“No,” Tekvee denied, “I was wrong. You were ready and you still are. Open your eyes for me more. I need to see your eyes. Good no concussion. Your brain hasn’t been damaged more. That’s good. We still need to get you some Olynga, quick. Those beam wounds aren’t very pretty.”

Lance stopped listening at ‘I was wrong’. When the alien asked to see his eyes they were already wide open with shock. Something told him no one has ever said that to him when it was concerning his opinion. The surprise didn’t help his already stunned state but it kept him awake. 

They were taking him to the hut to get Olynga, the other tribe’s hunters doing the same when something loud echoed through the planet’s atmosphere. Flinching, Lance looked up at the dark sky to see a bulky rocket thing heading straight down into the forest that the Galra had come from. The hunters began moving faster, preparing for another attack. 

The thing split in two and the two halves fell with a thunderous crack. But it was empty. Lance knew that wasn’t right. Something was wrong with it. Why was it empty? Lance tried struggling and warning the hunters but he must’ve looked delirious with fear. It wasn’t exactly untrue. 

A figure stepped through the curtain of trees, hunched and foreboding. They gave off a powerful aura that was to be feared. Lance had stopped struggling but now he was frozen stiff, terrified of the robed person. 

Linthu lunged in front of them and Lance finally saw his weapon. It must be shock but Lance couldn’t help admiring the sword that stuck out where his arm should. The bravery in which Linthu stood before the enemy. If only he could be so brave. 

Lance made a choking sound as the alien moved their purple hand and Linthu was flung. Lithu groaned as he clutched his stomach, sword disappearing with a purple glow. He began to struggle again within the hunters' gasp, trying to move further away from the approaching thing. This time the hunters listened and moved back bit by bit, weapons ready. Whoever had been holding up had carefully laid him on the ground. 

Lance pulled himself up and watched in fear as the hunters stood in front of him in a wall. He couldn’t let them fight this person alone. He took his weapon from his belt and let the bow and quiver to flicker into existence. With more effort than it should've been, he stood. Before he could join the Venellmetans they were flung just like their lead-in-training. 

Now Lance was the only one in the alien’s way. He pushed down his fear and aimed his arrow. If the person had flicked her wrist and sent the projectile flying, it would’ve hit her directly in the heart. A fatal aim, the only thing Lance has contributed in this battle. But he had failed.

In a pain-ridden state of shock, Lance looked at his arrow as it seemed to blow away in the wind. If he wasn’t suddenly paralyzed, he would’ve lunged for it hysterically. He didn’t realize the alien coming closer and closer. His eyes were stuck on the place where the magical arrow had landed. He couldn't breathe, a terribly familiar fear sunk through his stomach. He had failed. The others had given him the chance to fight and he missed his shot. Where was his script? What was his script? Why was he thinking of scripts?

His head was yanked to the side and he suddenly forgot everything he was thinking about. For he was now looking into terrifying golden eyes, blood red marks surrounding them like misshaped tears. The woman pulled down her hood to reveal shocking-white hair. 

“Without you, the paladins will grow worse and worse,” she smiled sickeningly, “So why not give them their precious broken boy back.” 

Lance stared at her with a mixture of horror and confusion, “What do you mean?”

She through her purple head back and laughed. Lance pulled back as much as he could, wanting to cover his ears. Something pulled him closer and he couldn’t move his head to look away from the mad delight in those yellow eyes. 

“I forgot. Or more like you forgot,” she said, smiling at Lance’s growing puzzlement, “You and your friends killed my husband.”

Lance looked at the hunters. 

“Not them. You really are as dumb as they say. I wonder if my son was right to go after someone so useless to the team.”

Lance winced and hurt rose up in his chest, tears pricking at his eyes. 

“My son didn’t do as he planned but he did give me an idea. If we can’t kill the paladins why don’t we tear them apart from inside.” 

“What are you talking about?” Lance growled trying to escape with no avail. 

Instead of answering the woman cupped Lance’s chin in her hand making him squirm. She did it so gently it made him want to throw up. Something inside him broke slightly at the touch. 

“I like how you struggle,” she purred and Lance felt bile climb up his throat, “Maybe once you remember I’ll take you from them again. And this time I wanna see their despair as I rip you from their grasps. This time you won’t come back. I guess I should stop talking, your hunters are recovering. Hopefully, the Galra will take this pesky planet out soon. They might even take you out. My, wouldn’t that be convenient? Oh look the Lead is sitting now. Time to go.” Her voice was so falsely sweet it made Lance cringe. 

Then her fingers began to glow and she touched his forehead. “Everything will come back. But with a cost of pain.” Suddenly she was gone and Lance was on the floor wondering what she was talking about. Her odd ship disappeared and Lance began to fade away, the last thing he saw was Acrijwim’s worried face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearing things up, there are more tribes on the planet meaning several different things of hunters. The reason the Galra attacked Acrijwim's tribe specifically /was/ because of Lance. I'm trying to make as many things as I can understandable without spoiling but as you've probably figured out I'm not very good at spotting mistakes. They just kinda go through one ear out the other. Hope you liked this chapter!<3


	8. Temporary Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team decides their course of action. Lance helps the village. Someone might have a date and someone definitely has a date now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry if there are any triggers. It's really hard for me to spot those things. They go over my head. The moment you feel uncomfortable stop reading and put it in the comment!

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

“I think we should go over there,” Shiro indicated to the noise, “That’s probably where the fighting is taking place. Lance might even be there. Helping, waiting, healing.”

“I agree with Shiro,” Coran chirped, “If we can’t find Lance we can at least get the Galra off our trail.”

“Guess we’re heading to all the scary noises then,” gulped Hunk. 

“For the universe,” Allura said encouragingly. 

“For us,” Pidge added. 

“For Lance,” Keith whispered to himself softly, earning a sympathetic look from Hunk. 

[Lance’s P.O.V. 4 days earlier]

Unlike last time where Lance eased into consciousness, he jolted up ready to stab someone with an arrow, searing pain going through his head. Immediately his weapon flickered out and he fell back to his pillow, breathing hard and squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Lance?” 

Lance didn’t reply, focusing all his energy on ignoring the pounding in his head. 

“Lance!”

Someone pulled Lance up and he was suddenly looking into terrified purple eyes. For a second he thought they belonged to someone else and then he didn’t recognize them at all before it all came rushing back. Any longer and he would’ve thought the Galra witch took his memory again. 

“Acriwjim?” he let out hoarsely. 

“Oh thank the stars above,” Acrijwim breathed before dropping his head on Lance’s chest. 

Lance didn’t stiffen but he did look down at the blonde hair with confusion. Oh, who cares? Lance needed some comfort. He wrapped his arms around the alien and stuffed his face in Acrijwim’s soft, purple ears. 

“This is nice and all,” Lance finally said, breaking the comfortable silence that had weaved itself around them, “But can you tell me what happened. The last thing I remember was the weird ship leaving.” 

Acrijwim pulled away, his expression pained as if he were remembering everything all too clearly. 

“Well after you passed out the hunters made sure there were no more hostiles in the village,” Acrijwim looked away, face slightly red, “I stayed with you and tried to wake you up. You weren’t responding. We ended up taking you to the healers' hut and force feeding you Olynga. The others have been on patrol while I stay here. The Galra have been coming on and off. It seems whatever interest the druid had in you caused the Galra to fight more persistently. As soon as you fully heal you’ll be put on patrol as well, though I would prefer you refrain from getting injured again. For today you’ll be helping me take care of the villagers. How much light time do you have on Earth?”

Lance thought for a minute, processing everything he heard. “24,” he answered assuming light time was like Earth’s hours. 

“Well, here it’s fifty.” Acrijwim pulled Lance off the cot, “We have longer sun-ups than you then.” 

Lace just nodded as if he understood. Really everything Acrijwim just said had flown over his head. 

“So we’re helping the villagers?” Lance asked, pulling on a clean vest Acrijwim handed him. 

“Yes.”

“What exactly are we doing?”

“We’ll be fixing up broken properties and helping those without huts”

Lance put his deactivated bow in his belt and faced Acrijwim. He was oddly excited to be helping the people out. Something about fixing up houses and helping those in need just felt right. 

“Let’s go then.”

He grabbed Acrijwim’s hand and tugged him out the door. Acrijwim went still and let the healing teen drag him along. He rubbed his wrist, eyes full of thought once Lance let go. 

“Where are we off to first?” Lance asked. 

“Follow me.”

Lance followed Acrijwim into the village, looking around. 

You could easily see the bustling color and business that would’ve had Lance spinning. The colorful huts giving Lance a sense of deja vu. It wasn’t hard to imagine the crowded paths and advertising vendors. He could almost smell the aroma of freshly baked sugar cookies with guava and homemade Ropa Vieja wafting through the air. He wanted to pinpoint where the smell was coming from within his mind but was only rewarded with a sharp throb. 

Either way, he was saddened that instead of all that, he was met with cold silence. People were hiding in their homes as roofs threatened to fall down on them. Blood could be seen in almost all nooks and crannies. It might’ve not been Venellmetan but it was still a ghastly reminder of the invasion. Galra armor was scattered about. Fear fell over the tribe like a blanket, thick and heavy. 

Lance suddenly felt far more serious. 

“So what are we doing first?” he asked a more solemn note in his voice than before. 

Acrijwim peered over at the human, noting the sad set of his shoulders. “I know it’s selfish but I was hoping to check on my family first, then check on the Tribe Lead.”

Strange understanding flooded Lance’s blue eyes as he nodded and stepped forward, a lot more determination in his movements. 

The purple Ven stopped in front of a colorful house. He hesitated and looked at the cracked wood with fear. Lance stepped forward and laid a hand on the alien’s shoulder. Acrijwim looked at him uncertainly, then gratefully. 

Acrijwim knocked on the door and waited tensely. When it opened the entire air seemed to change. Optimism and love oozed from inside the large hut. Lance had to look away, tears welling in his eyes for a reason unknown to him. His heart hurt as he looked back up to see a woman with a kind face and blue ears hugging Acrijwim. 

A man with red ears stood behind her smiling with relief. Kids came rushing out of the door pulling at the Ven’s legs, all different sizes, and colors. Some who were older but still younger than the parents joined the hug. Tears slipped down their cheeks and they seemed to collapse, catching one another. 

Lance felt his cheeks and pulled his hand away, fingers wet. Longing for something he didn’t know tugged at his heart.

Acrijwim’s family didn’t notice Lance for some time. He was alright with that, perfectly content to watch them grip each other like if they ever let go they’d fly apart. But when they did he was unexpectedly pulled into the hug. Gladly, he stuffed his face into the unknown pair of arms, relishing the familiar embrace. 

Lance didn’t know when they pulled apart but it felt like instead of letting go they were ripping off their own limbs. It was a painful feeling that pounded through Lance’s chest. 

“Are you the human, Lance?” the blue-eared woman asked kindly, her smile wrinkling the edges around her eyes. Lance immediately loved her and would protect her with his life no matter how much she insisted to protect him. 

“Yours truly,” he replied, returning her generous smile. 

“Nice to finally meet you,” a girl with magenta ears smirked, looking at Acriwjim, “We’ve heard a lot about you. Odd since you’ve only been here about a day or two.”

Acrijwim flushed bright red and Lance looked between the two obliviously. 

The girl’s face softened as she looked back to Lance. “Thanks for protecting our village. You helped much more than you most likely think.”

Lance nodded mutely, speechless at the gratitude in her tone. 

“Let’s put some food in those bellies,” the older woman ordered, ushering everyone around her in the house, “You all have a long sun-up ahead of you.”

Lance easily rushed inside the hut and found a seat at the dining table. He knew by the way the woman was sternly looking at her son that there was no use in denying the meat she put in his wooden bowl. Without hesitating he shoveled a spoonful of it in his mouth. His eyes widened as a surprising flavor spread through his mouth. It was delicious. In moments he devoured the whole thing and began talking to the smaller aliens. 

They crowded around him curiously. Somehow he knew exactly what to do. He teased them with a soft smile and flicked at their ears when they got sassy. He even let the youngest sit in his lap and examine his furless ears and earless hair. Everything felt so right at the moment that when Acrijwim told him it was time to check on the tribe lead he felt an incredible sadness. 

With a playful pout, he said goodbye to the children and watched sadly as they frowned unanimously begging him not to leave. When they shut the door behind them, Lance knew a piece of him had been left behind. 

“I’m surprised you handled them so well,” Acrijwim admitted as they walked down the path to the lead hut 

Lance chuckled, looking up at the sky. “I’m just as surprised,” he breathed before looking down at his hands, “It just felt so natural.”

“You must have a big family on Earth.” 

Lance looked at the Ven, face strained with pain and sorrow. Acrijwim’s ears flickered back and his eyes widened. “I deeply apologize,” he said hurriedly, “I completely forgot.” 

“No, I did,” Lance sighed looking away from the male, “It makes sense, I guess. I felt so natural in that environment. It felt like...home.”

Lance looked at the dirt beneath his leather boots. Doubt flickered in his mind. He was suddenly rethinking the whole new his thing. What if he really was leaving behind such a wonderful thing? No. They probably thought he was dead and moved on. It’d only hurt them more if he came back like this. Broken and lost. 

They got to the lead hut and met with Linthu’s and Strolry’s parents. Both of them had the same snow-white hair and an aura about them that made you want to follow them to the ends of the planet. Their father had red ears and warm red eyes the color of something Lance couldn’t place but when he thought about it he thought of smooth metal, warmth, and scary speeds that made your heart race. Their mom was much more calm with pink ears slightly lighter than Strolry’s that made Lance think of newborn babies and the calm feeling of sitting in a nursery. 

The lead hut wasn’t very damaged but the leads gave them directions for how to help their people. They said most of the tribe would be hiding in their homes, preparing for battles to come. So they’d mostly be alone and have to protect each other as best as possible. 

They got to work right away. At first, it started off somber and serious as they picked up dropped weapons to give to citizens. But by the time the sun started to set and Lance had nearly fallen off a roof for the millionth time, their mood was much improved. 

Despite the seriousness of their situation, they were laughing like two old friends. Sometimes they ran into their fellow hunters on patrol and they talked for a bit before parting ways to attend to their separate duties. Then they’d joke about Tekvee’s annoyed grumbles and Moadig’s infatuation with another tribe hunter during battle and how well they had fought together. 

“I’m not kidding,” Moadig had said, cheeks aflame, “Our synergy was amazing. And her name was Chere. She had these big earrings made from Korolian bone.”

Acrijwim had told the yellow Ven he was smitten. At that Moadig /and/ Tekvee would look at him pointedly before glancing at Lance. Lance looked at the interaction with confusion before Acrijwim glared at the two and pulled Lance away to fix another hut. 

Finally, the sun went down, much later than Lance’s body was used to but he survived, and they were sitting against a newly-fixed wall. Sweat poured down their faces, red from exertion. Eyes bright with energy but limbs rather heavy. 

“Lance?” Acrijwim said, voice smaller than usual. 

Lance perked up, afraid he had spotted a Galra, “Yeah?”

“Would you like to have lunch with me during the next sun-up?”

Lance paused and stared at the purple Venellmetan. Was this what he thought it was. Was he Lance whatever-his-last-name-was being asked out on a date? He flushed at the possibility and cocked his head to the side. 

“Is this a date?”

Acrijwim stared at him with hesitant confusion. 

Lance searched for his head that might be true. “Are you asking to court me?’ he tried, voice going high. 

Acriwjim flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “You don’t have to agree,” he mumbled. 

It was silent for a moment. Then Lance laughed. “Of course!” he shouted rather loudly, “I’m sorry I just never imagined this. I don’t even remember my own god damn sexuality now, do I? Well, I’m sure not straight.”

A wide smile grew on Acrijwim’s face, almost glowing in the dark. When Lance touched his cheeks experimentally they were incredibly warm. 

“Wow you really were nervous, huh?” he teased flicking the other’s ear excitedly. 

“Stuff it,” grumbled Acrijwim. 

Lance laughed. “After patrols let’s get lunch from your house and find somewhere to eat. Your mom’s food is delicious. Got it? Cool. Bye.”

Then Lance disappeared leaving Acrijwim sitting there, shocked. In reality, Lance had run as quietly as possible behind a house they had already finished. He felt his cheeks confirming their heat before dropping his hands to his lap and letting out a small huff of laughter. 

Lance was excited. Extremely excited Ecstatic. Jubilant. Overjoyed. Any synonym you could think of. But something very, very deep in his gut told him those purple eyes were not the right purple. That Acrijwim wasn’t the one who should be asking him on a date. 

Lance shoved the feeling down roughly and headed back to the healers' hut. This new Lance was happy with Acrijwim, whether his old self liked it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting every Monday has become sort of my schedule so I should be posting next Monday if nothing too important comes up. It's been surprisingly easy to keep up with this considering I'm in school. Well, hope you liked it<3


	9. The Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Tekvee talk. Pidge helps Keith realize something. Galra attack Acrjwim and Lance. Lance is the heart, his heart, Voltron's heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very good at spotting triggers so if anything so much as makes you mildly uncomfortable please comment below. Hope you like the chapter<3

[Acrijwim’s P.O.V. 4 days earlier]

Acrijwim was amazed. Lance had accepted his courtship without a second thought. The boy who went from unsure of himself to a warrior who took down all who opposed him within seconds had accepted /his/ courtship. Acrijwim didn’t know why he so suddenly liked the boy. Maybe it was the way the boy had accepted the Venellmetans so quickly. Or maybe it was the look in his eyes when he had asked Gekvide if he could be a hunter. Acriwjim couldn’t tell but he was falling for the boy scarily fast. 

When Lance walked out of the healers' hut in proper hunter clothing and bow in hand Acriwjim realized just how smitten he was. Moadig and Tekvee were absolutely right. 

“So where do I start patrolling?” Lance asked as if he completely forgot the night before. 

“Well, I’m gonna hand you off to Moadig–” Acrijwim couldn’t help but notice the way Lance’s eyes seemed to lose some of their sparkle. Had something happened between the two that he was unaware of? “–and he’ll show you around his section of the perimeter before handing you off to Tekvee and so forth.”

Lance twisted his mouth thoughtfully before smiling playfully. “I’m guessing I’ll get you right before lunch.” 

Acriwjim felt the blood rush to his face and stared into the blue fire of those eyes with shock. Quickly he regained his posture and smiled. “You guessed correctly. Then you’ll go to Strolry, Linthu, and last of all Gekvide. Once you’ve gotten used to the area you’ll be able to patrol alone.”

Acrijwim loved Lance’s proud smile but he hated the worry that festered when he thought of Lance patrolling all alone, vulnerable. Even if Lance was fully capable of defending himself Acrijwim would rather Lance not be alone. 

Lance held out a hand out, palm up. Acrijwim looked between the hand and Lance’s face. Without a second thought, Acrijwim took the hand, marveling at its calluses and unnatural softness. 

“Lead the way.”

[Lance’s P.O.V. 4 days earlier]

Lance was extremely happy. When he grabbed Acrijwim’s hand he wished he could have taken a picture of the Ven’s soft smile and shy blush. Lance couldn’t believe he had caused the beautiful expression on Acrijwim’s face. /He/ had somehow caused that small smile that shook him to the core.

None of this was new to Lance. He could tell he’s felt this many times. But he couldn’t help but think his feelings have ever been reciprocated. Which made something that he’s felt before become so different. 

Even when Acrijwim waved goodbye, leaving Lance with Moadig, Lance was cheerful. 

Moadig was surprised when Lance smiled and greeted him. Lance didn’t usually greet him so directly. The boy had taken to waving to the yellow Ven and turning away. Because whenever he looked at the alien he felt a pang of longing in his heart for someone he no longer knew. It was hard. But now, Lance was too happy for that to bring his mood. 

But he knew the bout of optimism wouldn’t last. And it didn’t. 

The hunters were on patrol for a reason. The Galra had become more persistent than ever. Moadig and he were a great team, he found out in that time. Maybe not as good as Moadig and Chere but close. It made Lance’s heart hurt but not as much as when Moadig gave him an encouraging smile as he was handed off to Tekvee. 

From there Lance learned that the other tribes weren’t having the same problem with the Galra. So they were sending over one or two of their hunters to help the Blueren tribe out. Yeah, Lance also learned that the tribes had different names. He learned a lot from Tekvee. She was perfectly willing to answer his questions. Even as they fought. 

Lance was especially surprised when he learned that Tekvee and Strolry were in a relationship. Or that Linthu already had a mate named Maiziv with rusty orange ears. Gekvide also had a mate but the hunters didn’t know much about them other than Gekvide loved them dearly and got a soft look in his eyes whenever he mentioned them. All the personal information Tekvee gave him made him want to protect Blueren even more. 

The peaceful time with Tekvee shattered when he was handed off to Acrijwim. Lance blamed Tekvee for that. 

Tekvee lost the dreamy look in her eyes that she had as she talked about Strolry and the other hunters’ relationships as soon as she saw the purple Ven come their way. 

Her smile grew into a teasing smirk and her green eyes sharpened like the daggers at her hip. 

“Hey Acriwjim,” she greeted, the tone of her voice already worrying Lance, “Here to pick up your mate?”

Acrijwim spluttered turning bright red, purple ears pinning back against his head. “H-he’s not my mate!”

Lance but couldn’t help but laugh along with Tekvee. But as payback, he leaned close and whispered into her ear, “I bet that’s how you would react if I told Strolry how much you talked about her.”

Acriwjim looked at Lance with confused pride as Tekvee turned a new shade of red. Lance began to worry when the green Ven looked at him, murder in her eyes. 

“So!” he shouted running from his spot next to her and looping his arm around Acrijwim’s, “Let’s get lunch before the evil gremlin kills me.”

Acrijwim laughed and pulled Lance away from the angry alien. 

“Have fun on your date!” Tekvee yelled using the word Lance had taught her. 

Acrijwim looked at Lance’s red face with confusion. 

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled hiding his face in Acrijwim’s arm causing the Ven to stop abruptly. He only continued walking when he heard Lance’s silent laugh. 

Lance suddenly felt nervous and wrong. This was definitely not something the old him would’ve wanted. 

/Of course it’s not, you want me/ Lance abruptly tore himself from Acrijwim’s arm staring at nothing. 

It was that voice. Except now it was so much clearer and filled Lance with affection and frustration. It made Lance want to tear out his hair and run to wherever the person was. Who was this person?

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

Hunk handed everyone a small bowl of food goo. Keith grabbed it and immediately took a bite without flinching as he used to when the paladins had to first eat the glop. He couldn’t help but look towards all the noise. 

From here you could see the purple beams of Galra weapons. Every once in a while you could see what must be a Venellmetan arrow. Most times you would see a bright blue blur go through the sky before the purple beams lessened. 

Keith wondered if Lance really was there. If he was, what was he doing? Keith liked to think that he was peacefully healing in whatever shelter the native aliens lived in, ignoring the battles around him. Knowing Lance, Keith was sure that would be the exact opposite of what Lance was doing. 

In his head, he saw Lance shooting down Galra with a focused expression, light bouncing off his paladin armor. He’d swing his gun if a soldier got too close. Then he’d see Keith and smile that cocky grin that made Keith want to hit someone. /Bet I can take out more Galra than you, Mullet/ Keith would roll his eyes and hide a smile but let the challenge get to him. Then he’d win. 

“Keith?”

Keith looked away from the battle and met the hazel eyes of Pidge. They were staring at him questioningly, head cocked to the left. 

“Yeah?”

“Are you really okay?” they asked shoveling a spoonful of goo in their mouth, “You’ve been really out of it since Lance went missing.”

Keith ducked his head instinctively. He was afraid that Pidge would connect the dots as soon as they saw the pink of his cheeks. 

“I’m just worried,” he answered, “What if the Galra starts to take notice of us. We’re down a paladin.”

Pidge looked away from Keith, shoulders suddenly slumped. 

“How about you? Are you okay?”

Pidge looked at him, eyes much wider than Keith thought was possible.”Ever since Lance left it’s been . . . quiet. Haven’t you noticed?” They gestured to the rest of the team.

Everyone seemed to be sitting by themselves, each lost in their own thoughts. They were so . . . separated. Allura seemed to be lost in thought, mouth twisted thoughtfully. Hunk just looked sad and scared, eyes darting between the Galra ships and his goo as possibilities seemed to run through his head unchecked. Coran looked just as sad and purposeful as if he were searching for his lost child. Keith thought of his and Lance’s familial bond. Shiro looked disappointed, most likely with himself. He always blamed himself when something went wrong. Usually Keith would comfort him but lately, he didn’t have the heart to. 

“See what I mean?” Pidge said, “It was like Lance held us together in ways we never saw. His stupid bantering made everything less serious. Sometimes I forgot we were in the middle of a war. Because Lance would tease me just like Matt did. Lance was like another older brother to me. And now he’s somewhere on this planet, Matt’s fighting in a rebellion, and we’re drifting apart bit by bit to the point where it’s unnoticeable.” They stopped and breathed in, tears brimming over their eyes. “I just want Lance back.” They set aside their bowl and pulled their knees to their chest. 

Keith looked at the paladin and remembered how they were only fourteen. They hadn’t even driven a car yet and they were already flying a warship taking down enemy aliens. They should be crying over losing a pet, not someone who had become a brother to them. 

“As annoying as he was I think you’re right. He was the heart of Voltron,” Keith admitted before widening his eyes. Pidge looked at him scared. He hurriedly pulled them into a hug and murmured into their ear reassuring himself just as much as he was reassuring them. “As annoying as he /is/. He /is/ the heart of Voltron. He is /alive/.”

Lance was alive. He had to be. A body couldn’t function without the heart.

[Lance’s P.O.V. 4 days earlier]

“So after this, we go eat lunch?” Lance asked. 

“Mhmm.”

“You brought your mom’s food right?”

“Of course.”

“Yes,” Lance shouted fist bumping the air, “Her food makes my tastebuds party.”

Acrijwim slipped up and smiled. “Remember this is technically a part of your training. It’s gonna teach you how to be more alert to your surroundings while being as silent as possible.” 

Instantly Lance straightened and went silent. Acrijwim looked like he regretted saying anything when a serious mask came over Lance’s usual smile. 

He had to remember this was a serious situation. Families were at stake. Acrijwim’s family flashed through his mind, hardening his resolve. Patrols weren’t time for fun and games he realized. 

It definitely helped the reminder when he suddenly heard a rustle in the trees. He acted as if he heard nothing but looked over to meet Acriwjim’s stare. Acrijwim’s ear twitched signaling he heard as well. 

When two Galra burst from the trees the Ven and human were ready. Lance didn’t bother with his bow and pulled an arrow from his quiver stabbing the unsuspecting Galra in the heart, feeling blood soak his hands once the arrow disappeared. He shuddered in self-disgust when the Galra fell to the ground, lifeless eyes staring at nothing. 

He stepped back and watched as Acrijwim snapped the other’s neck. He looked away the moment he heard the crack. 

They met up and began walking, leaving the body behind as if they were just casually strolling through the park instead of having just killed someone. 

Acrijwim looked over and winced at the blankness of Lance’s expression. He held out a hand and Lance looked at it hesitantly before shaking his head. Acrijwim frowned and looked at Lance’s blood-soaked hand. Lance looked so disgusted that Acriwjim immediately knew what was going on. 

“Hey,” he said flicking Lance’s furless ears. 

“Hmm.”

“You did what you had to.”

“Did I?”

“It was them or the people in Blueren. You chose the innocent people over the killers.”

“I could've just tied him up or something.”

“So he could get free and slit a mother’s throat while they sleep before moving on to the children.”

Lance’s eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. 

“Exactly. And you know what. You are the same person. You are still Lance. If you feel that disgust you still know that killing is wrong. That’s okay. As long as you think the same you have the same heart.”

“But what if I forget?” Lance asked thinking of his lost memory realizing how much it really has affected him, “Is my heart the same if I forget?” He felt his chest and thought of that voice. 

“That depends on what you forget.”

“What if I forgot who I was? Who I loved?”

Acrijwim fell silent. “I think your heart could never forget. No matter how much it hurts. It’ll make you remember something. So as long as your heart keeps telling your mind what it always has then it’ll stay the same.”

/You haven’t fully forgotten me. And I’m a part of your heart/ the voice said. Lance nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He took Acrijwim’s hand absently thinking about what the voice said. 

He had forgotten everything. Yet his heart felt too old to have changed when his mind did. He was the heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing much better at keeping up with this schedule than I thought I would. I've also realized this fic is probably gonna be longer than I originally thought. It's actually really fun to write and I have more ideas and writing is just my favorite thing to do! If you have any questions or stuff *cough* fanart *cough* I'm desperate, here's my tumblr https://starbookworm.tumblr.com/ I don't know how to do the link thing so there you go. Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter!!!<3


	10. Forget That You've Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith tries to be the temporary heart with Pidge's help. Pidge learns that Keith likes Lance. Lance decides his past no longer matters to him. He shall look to his future with Acrijwim. The paladins finally found what they were looking for. Or did they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will repeat this every single time though it may be repetitive but if you feel slightly uncomfortable with something that might be a trigger please comment or message me on Tumblr. Hope you like the chapter<3

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

They were getting closer and closer to the waging battle. The days were longer than they were on most planets and especially longer than the castle’s ‘day’. Keith wouldn’t mind the extra 30 something hours, though it was odd, if it didn’t keep him from getting to that fight faster than he was. 

To keep himself preoccupied Keith was trying to do what Lance usually did. Keep the team glued together. He sucked at it but he did his best. He could tell Pidge appreciated the effort. They also liked to help him with the witty remarks Lance would make. 

He and Pidge grew closer. They now slept together in a tent, including Hunk of course whom Keith has also bonded with. Sometimes the others would join them and suddenly everyone was happier than they’ve been in a while. Courtesy of a missing heart. But then Hunk or PIdge would bring up Lance on accident and everything grew somber again. 

Keith couldn’t tell if Allura missed Lance exactly or only viewed him as the blue paladin. Either way every time he was mentioned she grew much more serious and looked out the tent as if calculating the distance from their location to the battlefield. 

This night Keith, Pidge, and Hunk stayed up late. They all claimed it was because they wanted to. Everyone knew it was really because the sound of constant fighting made their nerves grate. It brought so many gruesome images to mind. Keith wished he was with Red or even Blue. Blue could at least tell them if Lance was okay or not. 

But even with all that, their laughs weren’t fake. 

“Hunk I know you’re secretly dating Shay,” Pidge huffed, “It’s not really secret.”

“I am not!” Hunk spluttered, face turning a dark red, “She’s just a rock I admire very much. Keith tell them.”

“Well, what can I tell them?” Keith asked before turning to the smirking green paladin, “Pidge, you’re right. Hunk is terrible at keeping his relationship secret.”

“I hate you both,” muttered Hunk, crossing his arms. 

“Love you too, buddy!” Pidge laughed. 

“Not as much as you love that Olkarian.” 

Pidge went still. “What did you just say, mothertrucker?”

Hunk laughed at their wording and flushed cheeks. 

“Umm, I would like to know about this Olkari,” said Keith with a raised eyebrow. 

Pidge mumbled something incoherent and slapped Hunk weakly. Keith joined Hunk’s laughter. When Pidge looked at him with curious eyes he stopped. 

“Who do you like, Keith?” 

Hunk immediately stopped laughing. Almost instantly the air turned sour. Pidge glanced between the two, confused with their sudden seriousness. 

“Keith?” 

Keith didn't reply, suddenly overcome with emotions. 

“Hunk?”

“It’s not my place to say.”

Pidge looked at Keith, suddenly worried. Keith looked like he was either about to punch a hole in the tent’s fabric or burst into tears. Pidge hugged him and buried their face into his chest. 

“Hey, Keith. It’s alright. I’m sorry. Whatever happened I’m so sorry.”

“It’s Lance.”

Pidge abruptly pulled away. They studied him with wide eyes as if seeing if he was messing with them. They pulled him back into a hug and Hunk joined them. 

“We’re going to get him back.”

[Lance’s P.O.V. 4 days earlier]

“Oh my stars,” Lance moaned, shoveling food into his mouth, “Can your mom’s food get any better?”

“From personal experience, I can say it gets better every time.”

“We’re gonna have to go on a lot more dates.”

“For the food?”

“You’re a plus,” Lance shrugged. 

Acrijwim pouted and Lance felt a tug at his heart. “I’m just kidding,” Lance assured, “Maybe.”

Acrijwim gave him a playful glare and flicked his ear. That seemed to be a gesture of affection on Venellmetan that Lance was picking up on. He flicked Acrijwim’s ear back before taking another bite of his food. 

“I’m guessing we’re not gonna get any talking done until you’re finished with your food.”

“I wish I could tell you your wrong but I don’t lie so yeah. On my planet food always comes first,” Lance shrugged. 

“Really?” 

“At least it seemed to. I’m pretty sure. I can’t quite remember.” Lance looked down at his apparently Korolian meat, chewing on his lip. 

“Well, some planet out there is like that. It does sound rather funny.”

“Funny?” Lance gasped, “Food is not something to laugh about!” he clutched his chest and focused on his eating utensil. “I’m so sorry, food, that you have been insulted so.”

Acriwjim rolled his eyes but smiled warmly at the teen. His eyes went downcast and he stopped eating for a bit. Lance noticed. 

“Whatcha thinking about?”

“I just think it’s sad that you can’t remember your home, your friends…” he looked in the direction of his hut, “...your family. I can’t imagine ever forgetting mine.”

Lance finished his last bite and looked out at the trees. 

“It is sad,” he replied, “But at the same time I don’t really care. It’s like a part of me is missing and it leaves a gap but the other part of me couldn’t care less. It’s like I have a war inside me. One side wants to remember so badly it hurts. The other side wants me to move on and leave whoever I was behind. And to be honest, I can’t tell which part I want to win.”

Acrijwim sighed. “I want to tell you that it'd be great if you got your memories back. You’d remember your family and friends. I’d want to remember my family and the hunters. But I’m selfish and I rather you forgot everything to stay here. Make new friends,” he ducked his head, “Have a new family.”

Lance looked at the Venellmetan and frowned, that same war waging inside him. 

He wanted to know where he came from. Where all these unknown feelings and urges came. He wants to know the friends that laughed with him when he was down. He wanted to know if there was that someone who loved him more than anything else in the universe. He especially wanted to know who that voice was in his head. He wanted to know if they missed him just as much as that gap in his heart did. /Of course we miss you, you idiot/

But what if he did just forget all of that? He’d no longer have to feel that old self-doubt that seemed to be a major part of who he used to be. His family and friends have probably already moved on with their lives, why shouldn’t he? And he most likely didn’t have anyone who loved him more than anything in the vast space around him. /Why won’t you listen to me?/

Lance ignored the voice and examined Acriwjim closely. Those soft, purple ears that looked like a field of flowers sitting atop his head. Those purple orbs that were so beautiful yet so wrong to Lance. His hair looked like sand on a beach Lance used to know. The pale skin that went red way too easily and adorable. 

He made a choice that he knew he was going to question soon. 

“Well,” he said taking Acriwjim’s into his, “Maybe I’ll do just that.” 

/Lance, please/ the voice pleaded.

Acrijwim gave him a smile so shy it melted the part of his heart that he still had. “I like that.”

Lance couldn’t help it and pulled him closer. Their lips met and Lance knew he was in trouble. Why? Because it felt amazing. Acrijwim’s lips were somehow as soft as his ears and they seemed to fit with his own. He could feel the warmth that the Ven displayed every day, all directed to him. He felt wanted. He felt like he finally found someone to fill the gap in his heart. But Acrijwim didn't quite fit. It felt wrong enough that he cut the kiss off short. 

“I like you,” he said. 

Acrijwim’s eyes widened and he smiled with shock. 

“Shall we continue with our ‘date?’” 

Lance nodded and pulled up Acriwjim from his seat. 

[Over the next three days]

The next three days were amazing. Lance learned how to ignore that part of him that balked at kissing Acrijwim and he did it all the time. He loved kissing Acrijwim. He might love that idiot Ven who never thought twice to take down the Galra that threatened to harm Blueren. And he liked to think that idiot might love him too. 

The hunters accepted their relationship easily. He even met Linthu’s mate and caught Tekvee and Strolry having ‘private’ time. He now had some good blackmail on the green gremlin. He learned about the legend of Voltron and prayed to the stars above that Voltron would come and offer a helping hand. He also learned a lot more about all the hunters.

When he learned to ignore the old him he became best buds with Moadig. The yellow Ven somehow cooked better than Acrijwim’s mom. And it was fun to tease him about his mutual infatuation with Chere. But most of all it was easy just to hug Moadig after a stressful battle and dump all his thoughts onto him. Moadig knew just how to push them all away and make Lance feel better. Overall he was just a big trelp.

If he was honest Tekvee was the first hunter he bonded with after Acrijwim. She was easy to play around with but you could just as easily get all deep and honest with you and she wouldn’t act like it was a big deal. She made it feel so normal to be sad and scared and that was something Lance appreciated wholly. He always picked her as his training partner when it came to their few breaks from patrol. Her family was also small but just as outgoing as Acrijwim’s. Lance especially liked her older brother who almost had the same exact personality as Lance, except ten times smarter. 

When he said Strolry was that girl that you stayed up all night with to gossip and do hair he was right. After Acrijwim’s and his first date she had pulled him away into her and her brother's hut and demanded all the details. They stayed up nearly all night, playing with her three pet rilps and talked. She always seemed to be so cheerful that Lance couldn't help but feel happy around her. And without realizing it he had spilled everything to her in a matter of minutes as they applied something similar to Earth’s face masks. It was relaxing.

Linthu became more like Lance’s older, more responsible brother every day. He helped Lance without making him seem stupid. He convinced Lance that asking questions was the only way he was ever going to succeed. He taught Lance a lot of morals and made Lance a better person overall. It was an invigorating experience.

Gekvide was Lance’s father-figure. Lance would just sit with him as he read a book and Lance looked at the sky. It was like they had a silent conversation just at that time. Gekvide openly said he felt like Lance was his adopted son. Lance didn't disagree. 

Lance was happy. He was content. His heart no longer felt like it was physically ripped in two. 

Of course when he was happy is when it all went downhill. 

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

They had finally made it. It took them three Venellmetan days but they were finally standing at the edge of the village that the Galra were targeting. He stared out at the colorful huts and automatically knew Lance would love this place. It seemed just as loud as him. Most definitely in a good way. 

“Oh man, this is like Lance’s dream town,” Hunk breathed as if reading Keith’s mind. 

No one replied. It was like they were struck still at the thought that after all this time they would finally see Lance again. If Keith wasn't so afraid of what he’d find he would run into the village without hesitation. 

Shiro put a comforting hand on Keith’s shoulder and Hunk and Pidge shared an encouraging glance with him. Allura straightened and dusted off her flight suit. “Let’s go, shall we?”

Coran nodded and took a step forward. 

“Who are you?”

The team let out yelps of surprise, scrambling backward and looked up to see a boy hanging from the tree. Keith gasped when he saw the boy’s eye. Blue eyes that he thought he might never see again. They probably stayed silent too long and the boy fell silently to the ground.

He straightened and took out his weapon, a bayard, and looked at the team with a calculating expression. Allura opened her mouth to speak, a smile in her eyes, when Lance cut her off. 

“Could you possibly be the paladins of Voltron?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!! I was freaking out just writing it and finally a well-anticipated love-triangle. I mean whaaa? Hope you enjoyed the chapter and if you wanna contact me my Tumblr is here: https://starbookworm.tumblr.com/ Well can't wait 'til next Monday!!<3


	11. Who Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The paladins are heartbroken. Lance doesn't remember them. Keith gets jealous. Who's screaming?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you find any triggers please comment below or message me on Tumblr. Hope you like the chapter!!<3

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

“Lance?” Keith asked, the hope in his chest inflating while the logic in his head struggled to push it down. Something was off but Keith didn’t feel like noticing. He just wanted to hug Lance. But everything came crashing down when Lance looked at him with obvious confusion. 

“How do you know my name?” 

Keith froze. The others looked at Lance with thinly veiled shock. 

“Lance, buddy, it’s us. Ya know your friends, fellow heroes of the universe,” Hunk said. Keith could hear the distress in the yellow paladin’s voice. But his mind was too busy to comfort the teen. 

Lance looked at Hunk with a pained expression. “I don’t…” he looked behind him at the colorful tribe and his face hardened in a way Keith has only seen once before. When Sendak was threatening to hurt them personally. “I’m sorry but I’m a hunter of Blueren. I’m not your friend, much less a hero of the universe. Now, are you here to help us fight off the Galra or are you hostiles?”

Hunk stepped back as if he’d been slapped. Silent tears were streaming down his face. Keith was still too stunned to move. He felt useless. Millions of things were going through his head. Each more self-deprecating and horrible than the last. 

Pidge stepped close to Lance and looked into the boy’s face with anger. Lance looked down at her with a level expression but his hand had moved closer to his Bayard. Keith suddenly regained movement. If Lance was ready to hurt Pidge he wasn’t playing around. Lance had forgotten who they were.

Pidge hadn’t caught on yet, too stubborn to think Lance would forget them. “You better not be playing with us, Lance. It’s not funny.”

Lance shut his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them Keith could see, for a split second, too many emotions to count. It reminded Keith of the internal wars he used to always have before he met the paladins. 

“I’m truly sorry,” stated Lance, stepping further from Pidge, “But I don’t...know you.”

Pidge finally got the gist and for a moment it looked like they were gonna fall to the floor before they stumbled into Hunk’s embrace, 

Shiro and Allura looked too shocked to speak. Coran was turned away, heartbreak plain on his face. 

They stayed silent for who knows how long. The whole time Lance looked at them with a carefully blank face that made Keith feel lost. Lance’s face was never blank. He was always bursting with emotion, bouncing around like he’d explode if he didn’t. 

It was Allura who broke the silence. She gave Lance a smile that Keith could see was strained. “We can help you but we are unable to for Voltron since we are missing the blue lion’s pilot.” It almost gave Keith satisfaction when surprise rippled over Lance’s face. Something was getting to him. “But we can assist in combat with the best of our abilities.”

Lance nodded, having already recovered. “I’ll alert the Lead and we can give you a guest hut. As of the moment no Galra are invading but be prepared. For some reason, the Galra have been persistent in attacking Blueren. Follow me.”

Keith, Hunk, and Pidge strayed behind Lance and the others. Their minds were still processing the fact that Lance didn’t remember them. And that they were doing nothing about it. 

They all were affected in different yet the same ways. Hunk had been Lance’s best friend since they were pre-teens. They had been each other’s only friends for years. Lance was Hunk’s stabilizer as much as the other way around. They’d never been without each other since that day Hunk caught Lance crying in their shared room. For Hunk, Keith imagined, it was like ripping off one of his limbs. 

Pidge hadn’t been friends with Lance for as long but they bonded quickly. You would’ve thought they were adopted siblings by the way they bantered and bickered. To Pidge they were siblings in all senses but one. She was losing a brother all over again. 

And there was him. Keith couldn’t figure out how he felt about Lance but just by the way they fight together showed they trusted each other. They were as close as friends who never opened up to each other could be. Then there was the fact that Lance seemed to have several sides of himself and Keith didn’t know which one was real. At this point, he’d accept each and every part of Lance if Lance would just turn around and admit this was some sick joke. 

When they reached the very edge of the tribe Lance stopped them and turned around. “I’m gonna alert the hunters that you’re here. They’ll adjust the patrols so we can get you settled in. Hopefully, we can get the Galra off our backs and things can go back to normal.” 

Keith almost laughed. Things would never be normal again. 

No one talked when Lance left them. They didn’t need to. It was like they were silently comforting each other. 

Lance returned looking slightly less emotionless and ushered them to an empty hut with enough cots in it to fit them all. He waited for them to filter in. “Pick your beds. I’ll be back with the rest of the hunters in a second–tick.” 

He left without a second word and the team looked around their temporary shelter. It looked like cabins you would see in those shows where people made homes all by themselves. There were two beds on three sides of the walls. Hooks were nailed beside each of the cots, holding the same outfit that Lance was wearing but in different color variations that matched their armor.

They quickly chose their cots and unpacked what was necessary. Shiro took the bed next to Keith’s that was away from the other ones on the left wall. Pidge and Hunk took the middle wall cots. Allura and Coran took the two that were left. 

Each of them had a colored blanket that went with their paladin color. Shiro and Keith’s bed were empty other than that. The Alteans had stuffed animals that did not exist on Earth. Pidge had a picture of her and Matt hanging on the clothes hook. And Keith didn’t know if he was imagining things but he was sure he saw that picture from Lance’s hideaway slipped under a throw pillow Hunk had somehow gotten ahold of. 

They were comfortably sitting in their cots, thinking to themselves when Lance pulled back the cloth that was the hut’s door. 

“Good. You guys are settled,” he said looking over them. It was gonna take a long time for Keith to get used to that polite, careful look he used with them all. He had grown comfortable with Lance’s annoyed, yet affectionate expression he had used with the Voltron team. 

“The hunters are here. I’ll introduce them.”

The hunters came in one by one. The paladins and Alteans knew what to expect but the Venellmetans were still something new to them. Their fluffy ears intrigued the team even though they were still dealing with the struggles of Lance. 

“Hi, I’m Gekvide, the Lead Hunter,” the one with bright orange ears chirped, “I taught the hunters everything they know. Well, except for the human lad. He knew quite a bit already. He actually had a lot of experience.” 

Lance’s eyes widened and Keith loved the way his cheeks darkened as he ducked his head. 

Shiro looked at Lance curiously, thinking of something Keith couldn't guess at the moment. 

“I’m Linthu, the Lead Hunter in training,” the one with black ears continued. 

“I’m Strolry, Lead of the tribe in training.” Pink ears, pink eyes, the color of bubblegum or the color you imagined when confident. 

“I’m Tekvee, the brainy hunter.” Green ears, green eyes, the color of lily-pads, growing buds. The color of bright intelligence mixed with curiosity. 

“Hi, I’m Moadig.” Yellow ears, pale eyes, the color of dandelions and shining gold. It reminded Keith of warmth and joy so pure it made you feel gooey inside. 

“And I’m Acirjwim.” Purple ears, familiar eyes, the color of lilac. His ears made Keith think of balance. Anger turned to passion by water. Trust turned to a steady flame by fire. 

“I guess we should introduce ourselves too,” Shiro said. Keith could hear the hidden sadness in his voice. Because someone up there was someone they knew. Someone who no longer knew them. 

“I’m Shiro, the black paladin.”

“I’m Keith, the red paladin.” 

“Pidge, I pilot Green.” 

“I’m Hunk, Yellow is my lion.” 

“I’m Allura, princess of the former Altea.”

“Coran, the witty advisor to those in need of help.”

 

Keith could tell immediately that certain hunters would hit it off with team Voltron. Pidge and Tekvee were already examining each other. 

“Now that we have introductions out of the way I think it’s fair we tell you about Blueren and the Galra attacking,” Gekvide said tugging on his left ear. 

“The Galra weren’t too bad until a few sun-ups ago when things escalated,” Acrijwim began looking over at Lance with worry. Lance’s hand was resting unconsciously over his heart. Keith tensed. What happened? Lance sent Acrijwim a reassuring smile and the alien’s face softened in a way that Keith didn’t like.

“There was a druid who got a hold of me and said some strange things,” Lance informed. 

“Did she have white hair?” asked Allura worriedly. 

“Yeah, and she did something to me but we still haven’t figure out what.”

The Alteans and paladins shared a worried glance. Haggar. They decided not to jump to conclusions no matter how probable since it appeared Lance was fine. Other than the memory thing. What if it was Haggar who had taken his memory?

“Have you forgotten anything since then?” Keith wondered. 

Lance looked at him disgruntled. He arranged his face into that polite blankness before replying, “The moment I landed on this planet I became a new person. Memories are of little importance.” He said it with such care that Keith knew he was leaving a lot out. 

“Ever since that battle we’ve been dealing with Galra constantly,” hurried Acrijwim as if he no longer wanted to discuss Lance’s state of memory.

Keith and the others asked the hunters more questions before Gekvide declared it was time for them to return to patrol. 

Keith was about to volunteer when he saw something that caused something dark to squirm in the pits of his stomach. 

They were explaining how the citizens were armed with Galra weapons when Lance went tense. His fingers started moving as if they were searching for something not there before his hand went to his heart and he was murmuring something to himself even though his face was still blank. Acrijwim looked over and instantly was at Lance’s side. Then he grabbed Lance’s hand and Lance looked up at him with a shy smile before slightly leaning into the Venellmetan’s side. It took everything in Keith not to run outside and punch something. Or to punch that fluffy-eared bastard who was causing the red on Lance’s cheeks. 

Keith turned away and acted like he was searching for something in his bag. He found himself gripping onto a familiar olive-green jacket. He was going to have to sneak that to Lance. Maybe it would jog some memories. 

Keith glanced at the distant-eyed Lance. Would anything change if he suddenly remembered? Keith didn’t know enough to supply an answer. He realized he’s never known enough. 

Keith needed to figure out a lot more if he ever wanted Lance back. If he ever wanted to have any more bonding moments. And with yet another glance at the beautiful boy, he knew he would do anything just to know. 

Suddenly Keith wanted to learn everything about Lance. He wanted to know Lance’s deepest fears to his wildest fantasies to his deeper desires. It made Keith a little scared. He’s never felt this way before and it was too new. And something bad always seemed to happen to those he loved. 

He pushed that thought down furiously. It wasn’t the time to think that way. He was apart of a team now. 

He didn’t watch as the hunters left. As soon as that blanket slid shut he let out a sigh. 

“Hey Keith,” Pidge said, “It’s alright. I won’t turn on my promise. I’ll find a way.”

Hunk was too lost in his own sorrow to contribute. 

Keith nodded before going to sleep, trying to forget any feelings for Lance. Minutes passed when he heard an all too familiar scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't fall of the cliffhanger. Hehe. I posted this pretty late today but I was trying to be productive with school ish. I completely forgot then I was like oh, crap, I wanna write. The only fun thing on Monday is actually this fic. I love your comments they make me so happy and thank you so much for the recent support. Okay love ya<3!!!!!!!


	12. Heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance recognizes the red paladin's voice. He's starting to feel unsure about forgetting yet again. Suddenly he can't see right or hear right and everything's weird and he needs to find that one thing. He remembers something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

His voice. That was the first thing he noticed when the paladins had miraculously come to Blueren’s aid. 

The boy in red armor was incredibly attractive. Raven-black hair framed his face and strands fell over the bridge of his nose. His eyes were a purple so similar to Acrijwim’s it made Lance’s head hurt thinking about all those times when he thought Acrjwim’s purple eyes were off. Because the red paladin’s eyes were in no way wrong. They were perfect. His skin was pale and red from exertion. And his voice. It was the same voice that had spoken to Lance on several different occasions. The one Lance had chosen to ignore. Until now. 

But it couldn’t be. Lance didn’t know this defender of the universe. His heart told him he would remember. But he did forget /everything about his past/. Maybe he forgot this teen too. 

No. Lance was done thinking of what he forgot. He didn't remember ever meeting these people before. So that’s how t was gonna be. He had never met these people before no matter how much they insisted. They were talking about a different Lance. 

But everything came crashing back as he took the crew of Voltron to their guest hut and introduced them to the hunters. The longing to just /remember/. The hurt of ever forgetting. That same confusion from when he woke up in some sentient lion warship knowing that he had a past but not what that past was. 

He walked out of the hut more tired than he was the day he landed on this planet. Mentally tired. He had fallen into Acrijwim’s side and the Ven had half-carried him to his hut, not knowing what was going on. When he had asked Lance, Lance just gave him a tired smile and said that the Galra were starting to weigh on him. Acrijwim just agreed and left Lance to sleep. 

Lance laid down in his cot that suddenly seemed too new. Something too unlived in. It wasn’t some bed Lance probably had had since childhood. 

He ignored the unfamiliarity and fell asleep. 

The moment he opened his eyes he knew something was off. He could still remember everything that happened in the last week but his memories were hard to grasp.

Everything was so bright and loud. He shut his eyes and put his hands over his ears. Someone had been looking over him. A woman. A woman with smooth strands that fit perfectly into his small palm and a beat within her that had rung through his ears comfortably. There were other people too. A man with thick arms that surrounded Lance like a wall, safe and sturdy. There was a little girl who wore a green jacket too big for her who had made soft little noises that Lance found soothing. A boy who had lifted him and twirled him around with sounds of joy that jumped up and down. A boy who had only stood still when Lance was in his arms, his teeth showing slightly and his hands shaking a bit. Another girl who made high-pitched noises and cooing noises that made Lance feel warm on the inside. 

Where were they? Lance needed them. He wanted them. Who would take care of him? He was so small and alone. The noises around him weren’t that beat that he had fallen asleep to for so long. She wasn’t there. He wasn’t there. They weren’t there. His family. He needed to find them. 

Lance tried to stand but his legs suddenly couldn’t hold him. He fell to the ground and let out a soft whimper as something very small dug into his hands. Whatever was beneath him wasn’t the soft fuzz that had surrounded him or even the glass that he had felt that other time he was away from the heartbeat. It was hard and nowhere near smooth. Yet he crawled across it anyway. Anything to find the people who had so lovingly held him in their arms. 

After pushing through a soft surface he landed on something different. Something that wasn’t quite soft or hard. It irritated his skin but he continued. 

He finally opened his eyes to see what was around him. His vision was incredibly blurry but he could see objects. He could notice it was dark. But he still couldn’t hear that beat meaning this dark wasn’t that safe place that he’d formed in. 

Every part of his weak body was beginning to hurt. Especially his head.

Lance looked around him more. One way there was only silence and soft, warm light. He could see figures that weren’t his caretakers moving around in walls much like the one he had just exited. The other way there were a bunch of tall things that seemed rougher than the ground he had fallen on. Other scratchy things surrounded the tall ones. It wasn’t completely silent. There were small noises here and there, high and loud or deep and quiet. That way was darker. It hurt his eyes less. 

He crawled until he was past the tall, itchy stuff and surrounded by complete darkness pierced by one shining light that hit the ground unevenly; the tall objects blocking it. Now it was just as silent as the bright way had been. No matter which way he shifted it was the same. And he still couldn’t hear that beat. He was lost, both within this place and his mind. 

Everything about this felt weird but normal. But he couldn’t think too hard without suddenly forgetting everything for a second. And each time something pricked his eyes and made spots flicker in front of him. 

Lance kept on crawling toward any sound he heard. He let out a whimper each time something dug into his skin. Something warm was sliding down his legs and arms from where he felt pain. But he didn’t care because the warmth reminded him of when he had first seen light and heard noises that weren’t muffled.

He would’ve just kept going if he didn’t fall. 

The thing he landed in was cold. So, so, so cold. It was nothing he’s ever experienced before. It made his limbs lock up and trapped his breath inside him. He couldn’t move and an emotion he automatically labeled as fear surged up within him. 

This is when he remembered. When icy water filled his mouth and nose and his lungs burned. He remembered his family. 

He didn’t remember anything else than their names. His mom, dad, Veronica, Rachel, Luis, and Marco. His small nephews and nieces who always looked up at him with eyes shining with love and admiration. Admiration Lance never deserved. Love that was minuscule to what Lance felt when he held them in his arms. If it weren’t for the water already surrounding him he would’ve felt tears run down his cheeks. 

Then a pain greater than the fire in his lungs went through his head. It was like it was punishing him for every remembering his family. Lance now knew what Haggar meant when she said everything would come with a price. 

But he stopped thinking because–well–he couldn’t. 

It became so much to the point where he no longer felt the cold around him because the pain was warming up his body in the worst way possible. He suddenly wanted to be drowning again because drowning would’ve felt so much better than this. The scraping of his throat as he screamed was a relief. He was being stabbed over and over again. Dirt was poured into those cuts. Then as he felt the fever of infection he was being burned to death with flames so hot they were entirely blue. 

Lance didn’t realize when he was pulled out of the water, lips purple and skin deadly grey. He didn’t hear when a boy with fangs screamed his name over and over again, shaking his shoulders with panic. He just kept screaming. Trying to escape whatever was peeling off his skin and ripping apart his insides. 

The pain faded into a deathly chill. And he could hear a beat similar to the one he had been searching for. It was much, much faster. And it made the chill subside just a bit. 

Lance looked up and met purple eyes. Purple eyes that were just right. Framed by soft hair and filled with fear. They looked so beautiful. 

Lance lifted his hand and touched the boy’s pale cheek. It felt righter than anything Lance has experienced in the past few days. 

“Say something,” Lance whispered. 

The boy looked down at Lance wildly. “Lance, stay with me okay. Stay with me, buddy.” 

It was that voice. Lance was sure of it now. It had the same deep roughness that the voice who spoke to Lance multiple times out of nowhere had. Then who was the boy that the voice came out of? How did Lance know him?

At the moment Lance didn’t care. He just wanted to get closer. So he did. 

“I remember my family. Tell Acrijwim I lied. I will never stay on this planet if it means I don’t see them again. I’m done forgetting. Kay? I wanna remember more. M’family. How I met tem. Kay? Okay.” 

Then he let the frost on his body take over. 

“Lance! Lance, we make a good team! Lance, I’ll get your lion back! Lance, I sw…” And his voice faded away. 

/We make a good team/ “But I don’t even know you,” Lance thought, “Right, mullet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so evil right now. If I didn't know what was going to happen next I'd probably be dying inside. HAHAHAHA. ALSO VOLTRON S8 RELEASE DATE. IM GONNA BE A SOBBING MESS, GUYS!!!! OKAY HOPE YOU ENJOYED<3 ;(


	13. His Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith saves Lance. Keith is panicking. Pidge wants to help Tekvee. Lance lives. Pidge makes a deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

[ Keith’s P.O.V.]

That scream made any anger in Keith’s body disappear. It made him afraid. Because that was Lance’s scream. The same cry that he had heard as he watched Blue jump in front of them. So full of agony and a strange sadness.

He jumped up, knife in hand. The other paladins were grabbing weapons, preparing for battle. But Red’s paladin didn’t care if he got shot with that familiar purple beam. He needed to get to Lance. Now.

He ran faster than he's ever run before. His short legs no longer affected his speed. The wind slapping against his face didn’t matter. Only Lance did. That predatorial urge to protect took over. Keith felt his vision sharpen. And he saw Lance.

His broken heart cracked just a tiny bit more.

Lance was underwater. His own element suffocating him. His eyes were wide open and frighteningly blue. They were glazed over, unseeing. His lips were also blue and even though his screams were louder than ever, the red paladin could see the fight slowly draining from his body. His hands were over his heart, twitching with a beat Keith didn't recognize. He was in extreme pain. And he was drowning. Dying.

Keith only sort of noticed that stupid alien appears beside him before he rushed to the lake. Frantically, he pulled Lance from the water’s deadly bed and laid him across the wet soil.

He gripped Lance’s now slack wrist, bloodied from the several splinters in his hand, and searched for a pulse. Somehow, even as Lance screamed and screamed, the pulse slowed.

“Lance! Lance! Lance come on! You can’t do this! I finally found you! I was going to give you that stupid jacket!” Keith began to cry. Ugly sobs that shook his shoulders almost as hard as he was shaking Lance’s.

Keith pulled him closer not caring about the burning alien behind him. He pulled Lance into his shoulder and stared down into Lance’s eyes that did not go with the sick grey of his skin.

Finally, Lance stopped screaming and his eyes seemed to see a little bit now. But his body shook with a ferocity that scared him even more than he already was. He pulled the dying boy even closer, trying to spread his body’s unnatural warmth.

Then Lance lifted his hand and held Keith’s cheek weakly. He froze. Lance’s touch was so, so cold. Way too cold.

Lance seemed to search his face for something he couldn’t discern. He pushed against Keith’s chest and Keith held on tighter.

“I remember my family. Tell Acrijwim I lied. I will never stay on this planet if it means I don’t see them again. I’m done forgetting. Kay? I wanna remember more. M’family. How I met tem. Kay? Okay.”

Keith felt hope blossom in his chest. Lance wanted to remember. He wasn’t ready to settle down on this planet with some alien. He wanted to know who his family was. He didn’t want to just _forget_.

Then Keith felt his own heart stop when Lance’s eyes fluttered shut. He stopped shaking. He just lay there heart slowing down bit by bit.

“Lance! Lance, we make a good team! Lance, I’ll get your lion back! Lance, I swear to Voltron. Wake the hell up!”

Then Lance’s pulse beat once, twice, then didn’t beat again. Keith sat there, the cold boy in his grip.

He saw himself standing before his father’s grave. Except it was different. Instead of his father’s name, there was Lance’s name. Everything grew blurry.

He let Acriwjim pull Lance from his arms shouting things like, “Tekvee get his heart beating! Moadig get Olynga ready! Linthu help me carry him!”

Even when Lance was far away in a warm hut, Keith could feel his freezing presence in his arms.

Someone pulled him up by the shoulders, probably Shiro, and pushed him out of the woods and into their hut. Keith sat in his designated cot and pulled out Lance’s green jacket. When he laid down he wrapped the jacket around him. He fell asleep, shivering, remembering the determination in Lance’s near-dead voice.

[Pidge’s P.O.V.]

They had stood back and watched as Keith pulled Lance out of the water. Their weapons were drawn, ready to attack anyone who was hurting Lance. But nothing was really hurting Lance. He was just laying there, drenching wet, screaming.

It scared Pidge. The screams bounced around the woods and into their ears. Lance was in pain and they could do nothing about it. They felt like throwing up. In their head, they could see Lance’s body flicker. It would be him. Then it would be Matt. Then Hunk. Then Lance would flicker back but dead. Completely dead.

Then they felt incredibly bad as they watched Keith pull Lance into his arms with tears streaming down his face uncontrollably. They saw then that Keith really, really liked him. And that it wouldn’t take much for him to fall. But the boy he liked didn’t even remember his name. The boy he liked was dying in his arms. His teammate. Their teammate.

When Keith began to scream Lance’s name as the boy grew still, colder and colder by the second, Pidge wanted to join him. But they didn’t.

Vaguely they could remember stories Keith had told them about his father dying in a fire. It’d be horrible if he lost the boy he nearly loved to the depths of water. Terribly ironic and horrible. Keith’s habit of pushing away people he loved would increase extremely. And Pidge wasn’t ready to lose any more members of her family. Not Keith. Not Lance.

So when Acrijwim tore Lance out of Keith’s arms and began giving orders to revive the no longer breathing teen Pidge ran to catch up with Tekee who was given the task of starting Lance’s heart.

Tekvee barely spared her a glance before beginning some process.   
“You are Pidge, correct?” Tekvee asked as she searched the room for something.

“Yes.”

“I assume you want to help me bring your fellow paladin back.” Tekvee pushed aside the blanket that covered the doorway before coming back in with a bright yellow and orange plant.

Pidge looked at her, shocked. “But….”

Tekvee shot her a quick smile and pushed her back as Acrijwim and Linthu brought Lance in and laid him on a cot much like theirs from the guest hut. The alien had to shoo away the two and went to tearing apart the plant and smashing it into her palm. Pidge avoided looking at the, now considered, dead Lance. Tekvee knelt beside the cot and cleaned the blood on his hands, pulling out several splinters.

“I know Lance is the blue paladin. The other hunters know as well, though Acrijwim wishes it weren’t true. He’s quite smitten with the blue boy. But I have a feeling so does that red boy of yours,” she grinned at Pidge’s disgruntled expression, “We’ve known since the moment he admitted to waking up in a giant lion warship of a blue shade. And then that druid comes and targets us. It was a little obvious.”

“Why didn’t you tell him? Or contact us?” Pidge asked, slightly frustrated.

Tekvee stood and took the ground up flower in her hands and sprinkled it in water that had been recently sitting over a small stove-like fire. She poured it into a wooden cup and stood beside Lance. She began to speak again as she forced the mixture into his mouth. Pidge kept her focus on the tiny fire.

“At first we didn’t want to shoot to conclusions. So we waited. Then he fought in battle with that strange weapon and we knew: he was the blue paladin. We didn’t contact you, well….” Tekvee paused for a moment and looked over at Pidge with an extremely soft look, “Because we had grown attached to him. He is a remarkable human. His sense of humor, his contagious laughter, his harmless teasing, the way he suppresses his feelings to let others shine–” Tekvee didn’t notice Pidge’s slight intake of breath as they considered the fact, “–and his extreme care for a tribe and family he had known for less than a full movement. In no time our most skilled marksman had fallen in love with him and the rest of us hunters considered him a great companion. We thought that if we just let him be he would join us and become a great hunter. He would share a wonderful family with Acri and come to Strorly and I’s mateship. And then you showed up and now all hope of that is lost.”

Tekvee looked at Lance sadly and sighed. Pidge was starting to wonder when the alien would help Lance. But they knew she would get to it and Lance would live. But now Pidge was questioning other things. Lance had always been a good person in Pidge’s eyes but they had never really noticed these things. Especially about him keeping his feelings hidden. Only recently she had realized he was more important to the team than they had thought. Now she was realizing how great of a person Lance really was. And how much of that greatness he kept hidden. How much he laid low and let the team tally their own victories as he crossed his out. It made them feel like a terrible person.

They finally looked over at Lance as Tekvee took a machine that looked in no way like a defibrillator but definitely had the same purpose, and set it over Lance’s chest. After a few button presses, Lance jerked up, his mouth opened slightly. In seconds his skin turned from that ghastly grey to his normal golden brown hue.

Tekvee slumped against the wall and rubbed her green ears tiredly. Her smile was full of relief and pride. As if she hadn’t expected her device to work. Her talking to Pidge must’ve been what was keeping her calm throughout the whole process. It reminded Pidge of their own habit of explaining the things they knew to stay as calm as possible through stressful situations.

Pidge pursed their lips and looked between the alien with fluffy ears and her human friend who was now thankfully breathing. They made a decision on the team’s behalf that they would probably balk at. Or sadly agree to. Either way, it was the right choice.

“Tekvee,” they said a little bit too loudly in a nervous voice. The Venellmetan looked at them with a curious glint in her eyes that they recognized all too well.

“Hmm?”

“We won't just take him back to Voltron. And you won’t just keep him here on Venellmet. In the end, it’s Lance’s choice. So whatever path he chooses to take he will take. Whether that’s with us, you, or completely by himself. He deserves that choice. I’ve realized he deserves a lot more than we’ve given him bit by bit since he’s left. It sounds stupid but team Voltron knew less about him than you guys learned in a few days. We didn’t know how great of a person he really is. So I wanna have time to really get to know who he is and give you time to form the relationships you wish to. In the end, everything I’m rambling about right now doesn’t matter. It’s Lance’s choosing and the only thing we can do is treat him right.”

Tekvee stayed silent for a few moments before bursting into laughter. Pidge stared at her in confusion.

“Acriwjim was right. I should never underestimate you humans.” Then she stood up and faced Pidge. Pidge was pleased to note they were nearly the same height. Tekvee extended a slightly green hand and Pidge was glad to grasp it. “Nothing we say right now affects Lance’s decision. Nothing we will ever say shall affect Lance’s decision. It is Lance’s life and we are only obliged to respect him. I agree with and respect you, Pidge, green paladin of Voltron.”

They smiled, “I agree with and respect you, Tekvee, green-skinned hunter of Blueren.”

“I’m surprised you knew the correct term for our colors,” Tekvee admitted when they let go of each other's hands.

“I learn fast.”

Tekvee looked at them with a raised brow and Pidge agreed. They hadn't been fast to learn about Lance. And it was a mistake they’d probably regret for the rest of their life. But now all they had to do was give him what he deserves. Respect, comfort, and love. And maybe Lance would choose them over Tekvee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, the way Pidge and Tekvee bonded in this one made me so happy to write. I loved it. I think I'm gonna have each paladin interact with their counterparts. It seems so cute to me. Except for Keith and Acrijwim. Hehe. Well, hope you enjoyed <3 Also sorry the update is sorta late I was busy <3


	14. Unsure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance remembers some ish. Pidge is sad. Lance doesn't like that. They fall asleep. Tekvee thinks. Keith is secretly a softie and that scares Tekvee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

 

Lance woke with a start. He abruptly sat up surprising the human and alien who were conversing about the most effective way to mix up Olynga. His hands immediately went to his heart to feel if it was beating then to his head to check if he’s forgotten anything else. It’s become a habit. 

 

This time instead of finding the usual past few days he found new memories. Of his parents and siblings and the days after he was born. That heartbeat rang through his ears still as if he was if laying on his mother at that very moment. It made him sad that he wasn’t.

 

He looked at the people in the hut who were now staring at him with concern. 

 

“I hate to ask, but what happened?” he asked. 

 

“You sure have to ask that a lot,” Tekvee said before scooting closer to his cot, “To answer your overused question we don’t exactly know. The red paladin, Keith, found you drowning as you screamed in agony. It wasn’t a pleasant sight. I was hoping you could tell us what happened.”

 

Suddenly Lance remembered. He remembered the realization he had made as he lost oxygen staring up at the blurred and rippling stars. He pursed his lips and turned to fully face the green paladin and green-skinned alien. 

 

“I actually think I can. Remember when Haggar cast that spell on me and said everything would come with a price, yadda yadda?” Tekvee nodded and the human, Pidge, frowned. “Well, I did gain something. I–” Lance had to pause and process what he was explaining, “–I remembered my family. I don’t remember anything about them but their names and my first ever experience with them but I remember them. Stars... But how I remembered was weird. I was sort of in the state as I was when I gained that information in the first place. I was a baby. I didn’t know what things were and I could only faintly remember that I was actually a teen. Words didn’t exactly come. It was like when...I could feel the idea of what I was thinking to myself. And then I was in so much pain and everything came crashing back at once. And then the boy with purple eyes pulled me out. The v–Keith. I…” 

 

Lance ran out of breath and noticed that he had been talking with a crazed fervor. Tekvee and Pidge were staring at him with worried eyes that almost seemed understanding. 

 

“That witch!” Pidge finally screeched after a bit. Tekvee just looked at them like she agreed. 

 

Lance looked at them confused. They spoke as if they were familiar with the druid. 

 

Pidge jumped up and ran over to Lance before stopping an inch away. They put down their arms and looked down at the ground with heartache. 

 

“Sorry,” they mumbled, “Forgot you don’t know me.” 

 

Lance felt his heart break and he suddenly wanted to remember the paladin just to get rid of the look on their face. He recognized it as one he wore several times and didn’t want anyone else to know the feeling. 

 

“Hey,” he said and grabbed their wrist, “How about you tell me a little bit about yourself and then hug me. So we won’t be strangers.” He gave them a lopsided smile and they looked at him with hope. Tekvee crossed her arms with pride in her eyes. As if she were watching her son do something great. 

 

“Yeah,” Pidge replied a little breathlessly, “I can do that.” 

 

Lance scooted back in his cot and left space for Pidge to sit across from him. They stared at the spot for a moment before eagerly jumping onto the bed. They crossed their legs and leaned forward with stars in their eyes and a sun in their smile. And they talked. 

 

Lance didn’t know Pidge. Still didn’t. Even if he knew that they had gone into space willingly to search for their brother and that they loved their small family more than anything and loved the paladins just the same. He knew they grew hesitant when it came to the topic of the blue paladin who had gone missing and that their eyes grew sad but their smile stayed just as happy. They didn't regret knowing this paladin and was sad that he disappeared. 

 

He wanted to help her find him. He might have been in denial but he knew he sure wasn’t the person they spoke of. He wasn’t worthy of fighting alongside this person or capable of saving whole galaxies. But he still didn’t know them. They were still merely an acquaintance. It made Lance unhappy to think about when they left him behind to continue their brave journey to spread peace through the vast universe. 

 

When they finished speaking they looked him with hope. He lifted his arms and nearly yelped when the tiny paladin barreled into his embrace. They squeezed him far too hard but he didn’t mind. It was nice. He hugged her back and felt warmth bubble up inside him as they fit their chin into the crook of his neck.

 

They sat like that for a long time. Tekvee had averted her gaze and began to tinker on a healing machine. Lance shut his eyes and sat there. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to break this moment. It felt precious even though this was someone he barely knew. 

 

When Pidge’s body relaxed and her grip loosened Lance didn’t let Tekvee move them. He wanted them to stay there so he could protect them. He wanted to do anything to cut that sadness away from their heart. This feeling was...familiar. 

 

He remembered, vaguely, stating that he no longer wanted to fully forget his past. That he wanted to remember who he used to be and who he used to love. And now with Pidge asleep in his lap, he definitely wanted to remember someone like Pidge who looked up to him and loved him as much as he loved them. And he suddenly wanted to be that blue paladin that the Voltron team seemed to miss so much. 

 

The little structure of certainty that he had so painstakingly built over the past movement was beginning to crumble with each steady breath the green paladin took. When Lance’s breath began to slow it had completely collapsed and Lance was okay with waiting to deal with the scattered debris inside his head. He realized he was not ready for what was to come before he faded away. 

 

[Tekvee’s P.O.V.]

 

Tekvee stopped playing around with the scrap metals and machinery inside the healing hut when she noticed that the two humans had fallen asleep in each other’s arms. After telling Moadig that Lance was alive she sat on the small stool beside the cot and stared at them. It might have been an invasion of privacy but Tekvee was too busy thinking to care. 

 

So far humans have completely proven her opinion on them wrong. She had thought they were simple, selfish beings who were either too stupid to find other beings in the universe or were too caught up in the idea that they were the only life in all of space. Weak beings who cracked under the tiniest of pressure and fought each other for power and pride. But now she realized that she had been generalizing the species based on the few people who had been most noticeable. 

 

Lance, for example, was stronger than many Venellmetans she had met. The perfect hunter. He was selfless and compassionate. Willing to save anyone, even those who went against him. Quick to laugh and just as quick to put himself between a sword and child. Smart and witty. Tekvee remembered when he had stood up to her and declared that he was more than capable of fighting as a hunter. And, like everyone else, he had his flaws. He tried to hide them all so he wouldn’t bother anyone. He was insecure and lonely. Aching with a gap in his memory and yearning for people he didn’t know the names of. 

 

Then there was Pidge who Tekvee had just gotten to know. They were fiery and ready with a plan for about anything. Witty and smart enough to win any battle with just a scrap of metal. They were willing to come to an agreement even if it cost their own happiness. They had been confused for a while, trying to figure out who and what they were but they had gone with what made them most comfortable. Tekvee was willing to push aside their slight inconsideration for emotions. Even when it came to their ignorance of Lance’s problems. 

 

Tekvee was beginning to accept the fact the Lance would most likely leave this planet than leave behind his family. And she could tell by the way the paladins and Alteans acted around him that before Lance had lost his memory /they/ were his family. As much as it had hurt him to stay silent about everything.

 

She was also beginning to forgive the paladins for Lance’s self-doubt. Understanding how they didn’t notice his heart was as blue as his lion. He was a master of disguise, wearing his smile like a mask. Like armor to protect others. If she were, to be honest, she probably wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t come on this planet so severely injured. 

 

Tekvee sighed to herself and looked again at the sleeping paladins. The content expression on Lance’s face made her turn. She couldn’t bear to look any longer. It wasn’t her right and it made her chest ache. 

 

Lance had become her friend. They had already made plans to go to each other’s mateship. Strolry would be just upset as her to find the boy was not there to witness one of the most important events of their lives. And Acrijwim would be heartbroken because the boy he had fallen for left. He’d be even more upset if Lance left hand in hand with the red paladin who was so clearly smitten with the blue one. Moadig would be so sad to lose someone who he fought with so well. Those who can fight together well in the end always made great friends. Or so Moadig believed. And he hasn’t been disproved thus far. 

 

Tekvee’s head was beginning to clutter. She was used to thinking of parts and formulas. Things that could be logically solved with a simple solution. Not emotional dealings in which there were infinite solutions ranging from happy and plain to outlandish and full of Voltron knows what. She needed a break. 

 

She stood from the small stool and pulled aside the blanket to walk through the doorway. If it wasn’t for her hunter training she would’ve jumped when she saw the black-haired boy clad in an olive green clothing that was most definitely from Earth. It hung from his figure loosely as if wasn’t his size but he held it close to his body as if he were to lose it he’d be losing a part of himself. He noticed her at the same time she noticed him. As she observed him his purple eyes stayed on her face. 

 

“Greetings,” she said politely but with a smile a little too sharp. This was the boy who threatened to break Acri’s heart. She had made a promise not to affect Lance’s decisions. Technically if she scared the little red boy off it wouldn’t directly affect him. It was a dishonorable thought but she stuck to it. She mentally apologized to Pidge even though it was an action so small. Because she would not in any way harm the red paladin. And she was not against the idea of becoming his friend. But as of the moment, he was a danger to her fellow hunter’s mental well-being. A human she did not yet know. So it was fine if she was a bit cold. 

 

“Hi,” he replied roughly. 

 

“May I ask why you are standing outside the hut?” 

 

His purple eyes, too similar to Acrijwim’s, darted around. “I wanted to be here in case something happened.” 

 

“You could’ve come inside.” 

 

As his gaze lowered and he hunched into himself Tekvee noted one of his flaws. He was afraid of rejection. That was clear from the way he seemed to falter at the statement, almost surprised. Unlike Lance, his mask was nearly transparent. His armor far more feeble. 

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes,” Tekvee indicated to the blanket, “You can check on him real quick but you must leave soon after. He is resting.”

 

The red paladin looked at her unsurely. But he poked his head in anyways. Tekvee watched with interest as his face softened immensely. 

 

She frowned and her mind began to clutter again and guilt clogged her throat. This boy was just as far gone as Acrjwim was. And even though Acrijwim was her family in all ways but blood, she couldn’t help in breaking another heart. She could tell that from here on out, as Lance regains more memories and goes through more pain, that things were going to be difficult. 

 

Very difficult. But no one was going to notice the problem until it slapped them in the face. And Tekvee didn’t know how to warn anyone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it looks kinda weird because I tried a new format but I"m probably going to change back next time. Right now I'm like basking in rage because my friends and I debated over some controversial topics and let's just say no on so far agrees with me and I get weirdly intense with this crap. Lately, I've been in an emotional funk and so that makes sense. Just know that this writing time is sadly the only thing I look forward to on Monday. Love you all<3 Hope you enjoyed!


	15. New to This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith learns that Lance lived. He basically stalks the healing hut. Has a conversation with Tekvee. Then he lies to Lance before bolting like the awkward boy he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

[ Keith’s P.O.V.]

 

Keith couldn’t remember his nightmares. He knew that they were filled with ice and a cold that reached his bones and latched on. They were full of sadness and insecurity. He had longed for something that seemed so impossible to reach. He also felt like he was invading. Like the dreams weren’t his. There were shadows that lingered in his head. Those dreams were unnatural and he was beyond relieved that he couldn’t remember them. 

He was in that state between dreaming and sleeping, touching the edges of reality when someone nudged his shoulder pushing him from his side onto his back. A breath of wind tickled him through his thin black shirt that was no longer covered by Lance’s jacket. He jerked up and covered his stomach. 

Shiro gave him a half-sad half-teasing smirk. Keith glared at him before events of that night rushed back. His glare faded and he just stared at Shiro with shock, not really seeing the black paladin. The red left his cheeks and his eyes grew glassy. 

“He’s….”

Shiro shook his head quickly and grabbed the boy, grounding him. “He’s alive. They brought him back. Lance is alive. Alive and healthy.” 

It took a lot of him to control the happy tears that threatened to spill onto his cheeks. Lance was alive. He wasn’t going to lose yet another person he loved. He gave Shiro a quick hug and Shiro smiled at him with understanding as he ran out the door not even caring about the green fabric that trailed behind him. 

When he made it to the healing hut out of breath and red in the face he was starting to think maybe he should wait a bit. There were several reasons as to why. Lance not remembering him. He was still trying to recover and didn’t want the company of a boy who he didn’t know. Keith could go on. 

So, instead of bursting through the cloth that covered the door as he had originally planned, he pulled it aside slightly and peeked in. He didn’t see anything but the green-eared alien when he dropped the blanket. He didn’t feel like getting to know the alien right now. He was still trying to process that they were Lance’s family now instead of the paladins. 

In an instant, his logic caught up to him, no longer left behind when he sprinted from the guest hut. Those pessimistic thoughts that might as well have fused with his shadow. Gloomily, he leaned against the wall beside the doorway and crossed his arms with a brooding frown. 

Almost involuntarily he pulled part of the soft, gray hood to his face and breathed the smell of Lance in. The watered down salt, the mix of soft aromas that came from lotions and face masks, the faint scent of baby powder, and the smell of something burning. The last one brought back memories of the burning material clinging to Lance’s back as wreckage surrounded him. Keith wonders if he has a scar. He’d have to see. 

He was caught off guard when the fabric made a slight swishing sound. His back straightened and he pushed himself off the wall. He turned his head and met the stare of the Venellmetan that reminded him so much of Pidge. They were at such a distance that he could see the green that seemed to grow from under her eyes and spread out like smeared paint and the yellow that gleamed like gold amongst a sea of peridots in her eyes.

“Greetings,” she said with a smile sharp as cut glass. Not the glass that you swept up after dropping a mug but the kind that is perfectly tempered and painted to be placed in a window frame that pairs with other colors to tell a story. Piercing and precise. I felt the sting as the smile flew past me and winced. 

“Hi.”

She went on to ask him why he was just standing outside the hut. He could feel the hesitation pouring off of her. She didn’t know how to feel about him. It almost seemed like she was defending herself against something that he caused. She told him he could check on Lance real quick before he must leave. 

Tentatively he slipped his head inside and took in the scene before him. Lance was resting on the cot placed in the very corner, eyes shut and mouth slightly open. In his arms laid a sleeping Pidge whose face was squished atop his chest, hair going in every direction. It was like they were smiling in their sleep. Keith remembered all the times they had slept on his own chest as they traveled through Venellmet’s forest. But then, tears had slid down their face as they told him they were afraid of losing someone for real this time. It made something inside him soften as he saw the tilt of their lip. It made his heart race a bit faster to see Lance asleep without that seemingly permanent grimace. Instead, the boy just looked at peace. Keith wanted him to open his eyes and smile at Keith again just like he used to. He wanted to see him ruffle Pidge’s hair as they feigned annoyance.

He pulled away from the archway as if he were pulling his mind from a happy memory. Dropping the cloth he turned to face Tekvee. Her face was no longer cold and calculating. She was now chewing on her lip as she smoothed the fur on her flattened ears. Her frown softened her features and she suddenly seemed so young and worried about something Keith didn’t know about. He took a risk and put a hand on her shoulder. Immediately his body tensed awkwardly and Tekvee dropped her arm and looked at him with wide lily-pad eyes. 

“Umm,” he began smartly, “I don’t know what to say but you look worried…” 

Her frown flipped and she brushed off his hand kindly. “I’m worried for the same reason you are.” She indicated to the hut with the arm that wasn’t wound across her stomach. “He’s important to me. He also has the ability to break my tribe-brother’s heart. But I see he holds more than one person's heart in his hands.”

Keith frowned and opened his mouth when she cut him off. “That little Pidge is growing on me. And I wish for her heart to be as whole as Acri’s.” Without another word, she walked off leaving him confused. Did she know about his feelings? She couldn’t possibly. 

He was about to follow suit and head back to the hut or find Hunk to tell him the news when he heard a faint noise from within the hut. He turned back and slowly entered the hut. Pidge was stretching as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Lance pulled his legs close to his chest as he stared at them with an uncertain yet affectionate smile.

They noticed Keith first and smiled brightly. He could tell their mood improved by a ton. It was the first time in a while that he could see their dimples clearly. It made him smile too. 

“Hey Pidgeon,” Keith said in a teasing tone, “How was your sleep?” 

They didn’t roll their eyes as they would have before. “Amazing.”

His smile grew wider and he chanced a peek at Lance. The boy was no longer smiling but gazing at Pidge with intense blue eyes, head tilted. He was repeating something under his breath and with every word his eyebrows creased until he was holding his head. Pidge began to notice and quickly moved in front of him and pulled his fingers from his hair.

“Lance. What’s wrong?” they asked frantically, dimples long gone. 

Keith stayed in one place but he was ready to run for someone if something happened again. Fear pounded through his head as he remembered what had happened only hours ago. But his worry was abated when Lance exhaled and met Pidge’s worried eyes. 

“I’m good. Is Pidgeon your nickname?” 

They nodded with relief and let go of Lance’s hands ready to let it go. But Keith was not. 

“What was that?” he asked trying to sound as calm as he could. 

Lance looked at him as if he was only just now noticing he was there. He studied Keith for a moment and Keith could practically see words dancing over Lance’s vision. Questions Keith couldn’t hear or answer. 

“I…,” he thought some more before lifting his head up, “A memory was gonna come but I guess it didn’t have enough fuel to run off of.” 

“Huh?”

Pidge was already prepared to jump into an explanation to calm her nerves. “Well, when that druid cast a spell on him she was giving his mind a jumpstart to help him remember. I believe when we came we set off the spell and it reacted. He got memories of his family back–” Keith remembered how Lance had said he wanted to know more about his family, “–But any memories he gets back comes with pain. We don’t know yet if it can be mental, physical, or both but we know it comes with a lot.” They pursed their lips and glanced at Lance and back to Keith. They smiled a bit sadly and stood up, “I think I’m gonna go. I think I’ve bothered the patient enough.” 

They were almost out of the building when they stopped and turned to Lance. “Thanks for the hug.” Their smile was small and serene as they left. 

The air instantly charged up with a tension neither of the boys could really understand. Lance began examining Keith's jacket and Keith froze. 

“Where did you get that jacket?” Lance asked, startling him. 

“Uhh,” his cheeks grew red and he awkwardly stuffed his fists in the pockets that were worn from Lance’s very own hands. “It’s from someone I care about.” 

Lance met his eyes and his breath caught. They were brighter than Keith had ever seen before. Or maybe he just never took the time to notice. Oh, how he regretted not taking that time. 

There were creases under the former paladin’s eyes and he felt like he was being caught in a lie. 

“Oh,” he finally said, “It just looked like...My sister had something similar I think.” 

Keith’s eyes widened and guilt squirmed in his stomach. Instead of handing Lance the jacket as he should he held it close to his body protectively. He didn’t want to lose the only part of his teammate that he had left. This part of Lance. 

“Maybe,” he said in the most believable voice he could muster. He was usually so good at lying but at the moment he felt like a rabbit caught in the headlights. It was a completely new sensation to him and he knew it entirely had to do with these newfound feelings for the boy who sat in front of him with adorably tousled hair and a frustrated pout. 

Keith was suddenly scared. These emotions were too strange and unfamiliar. They made him want to do things he’s never wanted to do before. He’s had crushes before but he’s never wanted to hug them and tell them that he would never leave their side. It’s never made him feel so hurt when they smiled at someone else. It shouldn’t hurt to watch them smile at all. But everything Lance did make his heart ache uncomfortably and his cheeks go red. What if Lance left just like everyone else did? How much would that hurt? Keith didn’t want to think about any of this any longer. He needed to stop looking at Lance’s freckles and get out of there.

“I think I’m going to explore the village,” he blurted making Lance jump.

“Oh, okay. Have fun I guess?”

Keith twirled around and stomped out like the idiot he was becoming. Hand on the doorframe he hesitated. He looked back and saw Lance feeling the material beneath him, legs sprawled out and shoulders hunched. He looked like how Keith had felt so many times before. Alone. Ignoring the discomfort in his chest he bolted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotional funk has changed but is still going. I've been like hecka depressed and no one understands but this one dude that I'm too anxious to talk to. But I'm good, don't worry, I'll get through it. Love you guys and hope you enjoyed the chapter<3


	16. Bleeding Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance really misses Pidge. He starts seeing things. He's also in a lot of pain. Let's just say something happens yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

 

Lance missed Pidge. He wanted them to come back and hug him again. He felt so lonely. Not just because there was no one around but because he no longer knew what to feel. And no one could help him. Because they knew who they were and why they felt a certain urge or feeling. They knew and didn’t even realize how lucky they were that they didn’t have to start over. 

His heart still ached from his recent interaction with the red paladin. The whole encounter was awkward in a way but Lance didn’t mind. But when he had brought up the jacket, the one that he knew was certainly in that fleeting memory of his sister, and the boy had tensed up as if he was prepping for battle. Then he left abruptly, leaving Lance alone with his thoughts. The ones that were now multiplying and growing in his head until it hurt to think at all. 

He had to find a way to forget it all. And the first person who came to mind at the moment was the green paladin. For some strange reason, he was yearning for their presence so much it helped erase all other things building up in his head. Even the sense that this longing was apart of something unnatural. Something that was going to bite him later on. But for now, he just needed to find them. To ease this throbbing pain in his chest. 

He stumbled out of the cot and grabbed onto the nearby counter to keep himself steady. After a bit of vertigo, he pushed himself off and looked at the wooden mirror in the farthest corner of the room. 

His hair was a curly mess since there was no gel here to lay it flat but it was still soft to the touch thanks to a soapy gift from Strolry. There were scratches all over his arms and his hands were encased with the same wrappings that went around his stomach. There was a bandage directly above his eyebrow that stung when pressure was put on it. And the bags under his eyes were the only indication of how he felt inside. It made him realize that he did not want to go to sleep tonight, afraid of what would haunt his dreams. When he turned all he could see was the peek of an old scar on his back. The one he still hasn’t fully seen. The one he didn’t know the story behind. 

In the end, he didn’t look as exhausted and mentally drained as he felt. That was all that mattered. He took a brown fur cloak that hung across the back of the mirror and fastened the string around his throat. He smiled lazily as he noticed how the cloak looked. He looked like how he imagined the girl from that one story on Earth. Little Red Riding Hood. But he was blue and the only wolf stalking him was somewhere in his head howling so loud it surprised Lance that no one else could hear it. 

He pulled the fur over his arms so no one could see the inflamed red stripes that patterned them and grabbed his weapon. Hooking it onto his belt he hurried out the hut. 

He winced when the cold hit his face, momentarily bringing back the feeling of water taking away his warmth. Pulling the hood over his head he continued on his way to the guest hut. The hood was incredibly warm and comfortable. He pulled the hide around his body even tighter and his eyes shut involuntarily. He knew something was wrong with him when he nearly tripped because he couldn’t open them. But he ignored the sluggishness in his step and shook the hood back off to stay alert. 

When he got to the hut he didn’t enter. He was afraid he would drop to the floor with abnormal exhaustion. Inside it was warm and outside it was cold. And the cold was helping him stay awake. So he just knocked on the wood beside the rainbow cloth that substituted for a door. 

While he waited for someone to peer outside he examined the cloth. It was a weird rainbow. The colors were off but right now Lance couldn’t understand why. His mind was floating around somewhere outside of his head and he could only pull some focus from it. The cloth started at the top with black, then red, blue, yellow, green, pink, orange, and right in the middle of it all was a bold line of purple. He must have examined the design for too long because the colors began to bleed into each other and onto the grass. He was about to jump back so the muddied liquid wouldn’t burn his bare feet when the fabric was pushed back and in a split second everything went back to normal. 

He met dark, hooded eyes that belonged to the paladin leader. They followed Lance’s hand as it flew to his pounding head. He really needed to get to Pidge. That same line repeated in his over and over again. Get to Pidge. Get to Pidge. Get to Pidgeon. He pulled his fingers away as if they burned at the tips. They might as well have for the fresh wave of torture the movement caused to pulse through his head. 

“Is Pidge here?” he forced out hoping it wasn’t too obvious that he was in extreme pain.

Thankfully Shiro didn’t notice. “No, they left to go explore the tribe and find Keith. Why? Is something wrong?” Lance would’ve thought he was only mildly worried if he didn’t notice his knuckles pale against the doorframe, his grip tightening. 

“No. Everything is just peachy,” Lance lied with a smile that was actually just a ruse to hide his grinding teeth. He really needed to find Pidge. And soon before he passed out alone somewhere between the guest hut and tribe village. “I just want to get to know them better. We spent some talking while I recovered and I think they grew on me a little.” 

Shiro smiled with understanding and for some reason that Lance didn’t even bother trying to understand it pierced his heart. The slight wound stung like a papercut. “I’ll leave you to it then.” Then he disappeared back inside. 

Lance was glad to drop his fake smile. His cheeks were sore from the force of maintaining a happy face when all he wanted to do was fade away from existence. Get to Pidge. Get to them. They will help. Somehow. He just knew it deep down. 

Again, he pulled the cloak tight around himself but didn’t don the soft hood this time. Still, as he began to walk in a random direction, his mind wandered too far for him to grasp. He couldn't quite remember if he was taking the right route to the tribe village. All he could do was hope and try to keep his vision from blurring as much as possible. Which wasn’t very much. And the amount of effort he put into seeing clearly made his head feel even worse. 

With each step, he was understanding more and more what that druid meant by ‘a price’. And as of the moment, Lance couldn’t tell if his memories were worth all this suffering. But then again, if he didn’t gain his memories back he’d have to live the next portion of his life constantly questioning who he was. Which option was the better choice was hard to tell. Especially when his brain felt like it was twisting around in his skull. 

With his blurred vision, he almost didn’t see the two figures standing at the intersection of the trees and huts. They were both short but one was even smaller with a cloud of hair surrounding their face. Pidge. Lance felt, with the realization, like someone had just stabbed him in the side. Everything went bright and all he could see was white. When he shut and opened his eyes the figures were outlined in red and green. 

If he was going to ever get rid of these strange hallucinations and pains then he was going to have to get through at least one minute of acting a-okay. He straightened and resisted a wince and massaged his temples letting out a long exhale. Pidge. He had to get to Pidge. 

One foot in front of the other. That’s all he had to do right now. Swing his arms. Act normal. Don’t pass out. 

He knew something was wrong with him but still, even now, he was deciding to ignore what his body was telling him. 

He walked slowly before they noticed him. Slowly because every time his foot hit the grass it sent vibrations through his body that grew in pressure until they hurt. He tried to let each one pass before taking another step. 

“Oh!” Pidge said, “I thought you would need longer to recover. I guess that Olynga works even better than I thought.”

Lance forced himself to smile. “Yep. I’m pretty sure that flower is made of magic.” 

“Like from Tangled?” another, soothing, voice asked. 

With reluctance, Lance met that purple gaze and nodded, “Exactly what I mean.” Lance could tell he was failing at this act. Anything that came out of his mouth was stiff and sharp. Unnatural. He could tell from Keith’s slight frown. 

Gladly he looked away from the red paladin’s face. Even when everything was blurry and distorted Lance wanted to push that wisp of hair that rested on his nose away. It made the events from before resurface and add a little more hurt to his current situation. And he did not need any more hurt for a long time. 

“We wanted to explore the village. I don’t know how long we’ll be here but we might as well get used to it,” Pidge piped up grabbing Lance’s drifting attention. 

“There's an area in the center of the village with lots of vendors and stores. It’s great for shopping and getting a gist of what Blueren is like,” He suggested with false cheer and a smile that was more like he was biting down to keep from screaming. 

“That sounds great,” they said, “Keith, do you wanna come?” 

Once again, Keith and Lance made eye contact. Lance wished that he could see what storm was raging through those deep eyes now. There always was when Lance looked in them. 

“No,” Keith replied not breaking eye contact. Intentionally or not it made Lance’s muddied mind stop. Like a camera focusing, Lance could see, for just a second, that Keith was lying. “I think I’m going to ask Gekvide about patrolling.”

“Right, I need to go back to patrolling soon. Might as well take advantage of this recovery time.” 

Keith hummed in response and waved to Pidge before silently walking away. Lance had to tear his eyes from the blob of red as it retreated. Instead, he held out a hand for Pidge to take and tried to remember the path to that circle of booths and souvenirs. 

They took it and pulled Lance across the border of grass that lined the village and onto pebbles. The sound of crunching as their feet collided with the rocks was too loud in his ears to be normal. 

Time passed in a timelapse that freaked him out. In no time they were standing outside a circle full of bustling people. Laughter and voices echoed in the air and mixed until all he could hear was white noise. 

He ignored all the aliens around him and looked at Pidge. “So?”

Pidge hummed to theirself, “This is like the Space Mall. No, a Space  _ Outlet. _ ” 

“Space Mall?” 

“Yeah.” They turned to him with a wide grin, big sad hazel eyes boring into his. “One time the blue paladin and I went to a space mall.”

And as Lance tried to find the deeper meaning behind those words everything stopped. 

Unlike last time when the memories slowly seeped into his brain, it was like he had dived into a pool without first slowly sinking his toes in. They all came in so fast Lance could only catch a few before they found their rightful place in his head. It started with those same brown-green eyes. Then he was leaping in the air for a coin, clothes soaked and water running down his back. Then he was laying beside them in bed chattering as they typed away. They were there, face tinted blue because of a screen, saying how they had saved his butt. His hand was ruffling their fluffy, short hair. They were hugging him tightly and his back stung. They were staring out upon burning wreckage with binoculars.  _ “Who’s Keith?” _ they wondered. It all ended with those same eyes as their left hand touched their forehead in an incorrect salute. 

Lance suddenly understood the pain. He understood why he so desperately wanted to hug them again. 

He gasped and grabbed onto their shoulders, the pain still raging with him, maybe even louder now. He fell and knew they would catch him. He trusted them. Because now he knew who they were. And he trusted them with his life. It hurt to know that he ever forgot them in the first place. 

“Love ya, Pidgey,” he breathed before the world went dark yet again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've officially been thrown off the schedule I had given myself. Usually, I have an extra chapter just in case I don't have time to write another. But hey, guess what. That chapter has just been used. School work has been piling up as well as emotional crap that I don't wanna deal with and I'm starting to lose time to do the things I actually love. But something good happened last week. I came out to my parents which was an incredible feeling. Well hope you enjoyed the chapter <3


	17. A Hug a Day Keeps the Pain Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge is devastated. Tekvee convinces them to be happy. Hunk has a flashback. He has a promise to uphold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

[Pidge’s P.O.V.]

It happened again. It happened right in front of them and they could do nothing to stop it.

They had something about the space mall, bringing up the “missing” blue paladin. The blue paladin who was actually standing right in front of them, eyes comically large. But not from excitement. Not from shock. But that one thing that Pidge hated to see on his face. Agony 

His body tensed up and his right hand absentmindedly touched the part of his face near the corner of his eye. And he just kept on staring at them as different colors flashed over those blue eyes. 

“Lance!” Pidge yelled, too afraid to touch him. Afraid of how he would react. “Lance, come on!” 

Others were beginning to notice. Some wanted to get closer and stare but Pidge wasn’t going to have any of that. This was her friend who was hurting. She was about to yell both for help and privacy when Lance gasped abruptly. 

The people around them suddenly didn’t matter. They turned to Lance who finally seemed to be able to see. That haze that had clouded his eyes had been blown away. 

He began to fall. They stepped forward as he grabbed their shoulders, trying to keep his balance for as long as his legs would allow. 

“Love ya, Pidgey.”

They caught him easily, sort of surprised at how light he seemed to be before registering what he had said. He had used his nickname for them from before he went missing. The world momentarily shattered around them. In moments they had picked up the figurative pieces in their mind and held on to them for fixing later. Now, Lance needed help. 

Pidge began to yell orders at random Venellmetans. They grew even more fervent as Lance started to tremble. Whimpers that we’re barely audible came from his mouth. 

“Get one of the hunters now! Get a paladin! Anyone who can help! Your hunter-in-training might be in danger!”

That finally got aliens moving. They watched people of all ears run with desperation. They didn’t know what could happen to Lance in this state. He could die. 

Knowing that help was on the way they slowly slid to their knees, still holding Lance in their arms. They cradled his head in their tiny hands and fought back tears. Because they were so scared. So, so, so scared of the pain they had seen on his face right before he went still. Afraid of what was going on in his head right now. Terrified of the prospect that there was a possibility this was the last time they saw him well and breathing. Especially after him calling them pidgey. Had he remembered?

Pidge didn’t know what to think and didn’t want to. Because their mind kept wandering to the worst possible outcomes. They just needed to wait for help to arrive. 

Unsurprisingly, the first to arrive were Acrijwim and Keith. But they held themselves back from tearing Lance from Pidge’s arms. Pidge could see the effort it took them from the way their fists clenched and their eyes never moved from Lance’s body. If it were an entirely different situation Pidge would’ve laughed at how oblivious they were to each other’s infatuation with the same person. But right now, unless he woke up in that very moment with his cocky grin, they didn’t feel like laughing. 

Then the others came, both hunters and paladins. The worry they shared was the same. Incredible in size. Even if one party knew Lance for longer. They didn’t necessarily know Lance the most. Pidge has realized that he keeps a lot of things to himself. And Pidge wished they could tell him how he used to feel about things, help him with his lost memory. But they just didn’t know. 

Hunk noticed that Pidge was too caught up in their thoughts to hand over the body in their hands. He called for someone to help him carry Lance. Carefully, he pulled Lance from them. They let him, instantly missing the warmth in their lap. Because that warmth had been the only reassurance that their friend was alive. Their family. Their brother. 

Just like with Keith, someone had to pull them from off the ground. Pidge’s eyes finally focused on the person whose arm was wrapped around their shoulders, supporting them. 

Tekvee gave her a soft smile but didn’t bother hiding the concern in her green eyes.

“Don’t we need to help him?” they asked, voice distant as if they barely knew what they were saying but knew that it was important. 

“No,” Tekvee answered, weaving the two between the crowd of aliens surrounding the circle. “We need a break. I left the healing to Moadig and the yellow friend of yours. Lance wasn’t injured this time. I think he needs something more...mental-wise. Moadig is the most empathetic of us hunters.” 

“Okay. Then where are we going?”

“I think we should create some robot buddies.” 

“I want to see Lance.”

“We will but I think you also need some time to recover.”

Pidge nodded and let the green-skinned hunter guide them into an isolated hut right outside the tribe border. Inside was scattered with tools, parts, and technology they’ve never even conceived. 

“Lance would want you to enjoy this. Even if he’s hurting,” Tekvee pointed out when Pidge hesitated at the doorway.

They knew she was right. Lance always seemed to be doing that. Wanting others to be happy even if he’s not. All they could do right now was to be happy. Because that’s what he would’ve wanted. 

Reluctantly, they smiled and picked up a strangely shaped screw. 

To themself, they whispered, “Be alright, Lance. So I can be happy. So you can be happy.” 

[Hunk’s P.O.V.]

Every night, as anxiety plagued him and he struggled to sleep, that moment replayed in his mind over and over again. Each time was the same. The details never blurred and the emotions never faded. It was the same each and every time. Which made it worse in a way. Because Hunk had to relive his best friend telling him that he didn’t remember him. 

_ Who are you?  _ He had asked.  _ I’m not your friend.  _ He had stated with such confidence that Hunk barely noticed the waver in his form.

Most vividly, he remembered the feeling as a large part of his heart broke away. The sadness that had taken root in his mind. The best friend that he had known for six years, the one that he spent only a month away from each year, the one who had been his rock as his anxiety grew worse. The one who helped Hunk learn to treat his anxiety as background noise. Who broke into a smile as he broke into tears. He didn’t even know how to describe his love for Lance. And before, Lance would’ve said the same. 

_ Hunk was in the room, alone. Lance was out somewhere doing who knows what. They were getting closer but, still, Lance was a mystery to the Samoan boy. The harsh lights of the Garrison were turned on and for no clear reason, they began to make him feel queasy. He tried to focus on his engineering project. He was supposed to make an engine for a ship model. Usually, this would’ve been done in an instant but he was feeling anxious. And why couldn’t he just focus on the goddamn project? His heart began to pound and he grew light-headed. A panic attack.  _

_ He pushed himself from the desk and threw down a screwdriver. With no reason other than the inexplicable fear that suddenly coursed through his veins, he started to cry. The room around him blurred. When the door opened he jumped and froze, falling on her floor beside his bed.  _

_ “Hunk? You okay?”  _

_ Hunk rubbed at his eyes with his sleeves. “Yeah, of course, I am. You just scared me.”  _

_ His lie was met with silence and he was sure that Lance had believed him. The door shut and he let himself slump and lay his forehead on the metal frame of his bed. The alloy’s cold seeped into his skin uncomfortably. He was about to let himself panic again when warm hands were pulling him up.  _

_ He was too shocked to react. If it were someone dangerous he would’ve been in trouble. But the person who gently pushed him into sitting position on his bed was not dangerous. At least not to him.  _

_ Hunk met Lance’s gaze. Lance was smiling. His smile was big and bright and made dimples carve into his freckles. But it wasn’t happy. It was understanding. It showed sadness and empathy.  _

_ “We both know that’s not true.” _

_ Hunk dropped his head and stared at his callused hands.  _

_ “Do you wanna talk about it?”  _

_ Hunk shook his head and his fingers curled into weak fists. Because he did. He wanted to talk about it so badly that it almost hurt physically. The emotions bottled up inside him and made him want to burst just to let it all out. But something stopped him. An imaginary force that made absolutely no sense. It had no reason or motive, it just stopped him from ever letting anything come out of his mouth when it most was most needed. And Lance seemed to know that.  _

_ Instead of saying anything else Lance sat next to him and leaned on him. Hunk could feel the warmth come off him like he did when anyone touched him. Instinctively, he put his arms around the lanky boy and pulled him closer. Instantly he felt better.  _

_ “How’d you know that’d make me feel better?” he asked.  _

_ Lance didn’t reply for a bit, growing stiff in his embrace. “When I was back in Cuba, whenever I felt sad, there was always a little toddler ready to squeeze the life out of me. And every time they did, their warmth just felt right. Right enough to make me feel okay.”  _

_ Hunk didn’t know how to reply. It sounded like Lance knew a lot about sadness from the tone of his voice. But he didn’t feel like he had the right to ask why. So instead he decided that because Lance was helping him, he would help Lance.  _

_ “How about whenever we’re in any sort of pain, we give each other a hug?” he proposed.  _

_ He felt glad when the freckled boy relaxed. “I like that idea.”  _

_ The hugs that Hunk gave in the years after were numerous. The number of hugs he received seemed infinite.  _

“Are you alright?”

He looked up startled. Yellow eyes stared down at him with concern. It was Moadig. Right. Hunk had forgotten who helped him carry Lance to the recovery hut. 

“Yeah, I was just remembering the blue paladin.” 

Moadig slid down the wall beside him and Hunk realized they had nearly the same exact build. 

“What did you remember about him?” 

“I–I was remembering a promise I made to him. That whenever he was in pain I’d give him a hug.” 

Moadig looked away from Hunk and at the boy who was sleeping fitfully on the cot, trembling and rolling around with his eyes moving wildly behind his eyelids. “When he wakes up then, give him a hug.” 

“Huh?”

“We know Lance is the blue paladin. We’ve known even before you came. His selfless nature that we’ve heard of was only one tell-tale.” 

“Oh.” 

They sat there in silence as Hunk registered the news. 

“I will.”

“Hm?”

“When he wakes up, I’m gonna give him a hug.” 

Hunk was going to hug Lance. He was going to hug his best friend again. He doesn’t know how long it’s been but it will help them both extremely. He’s sure of it. He sighed happily at the thought of hugging Lance again. It made him giddy. He’s missed hugging his best friend. Hugging was his therapy and soon he was gonna have a heart-healing session. 

Moadig nodded with a large grin. “That sounds like a great idea.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting early today since there's no school and I'm not struggling to do this half-asleep because I remembered I need to while I'm in bed. Things have been good but I just remembered I have midterms soon so that's great. Thanksgiving break is in a week and I get off earlier all this week so I should be able to catch up with these chapters so that the story is less hurried and better edited. For now, all I have is this flashback that I came up with in two minutes. Love you all and if you live near Paradise or Malibu I hope you are okay<3


	18. Hunter's Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance wakes up. He insists on doing patrol. Hunk follows. They are informed that the Galra are attacking. They tell the paladins. Keith, what was that for? wink, wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

Lance opened his eyes with the thought that this has happened far too many times in the short time he has been on Venellmet. He really needed to stop whatever he was doing to keep waking up without knowing what had made him sleep in the first place. Because he definitely wasn’t unconscious for an ordinary reason. 

He rubbed his head which was throbbing faintly. As usual, he went over the memories that he could reach. Waking up for the first time. Blood. Confusion. Never ending stars. Venellmer. Acrijwim. Family.  _ Pidge.  _

He shot up in the cot and looked around frantically. They weren’t there, though. Instead on the wall opposite the resting place sat two bodies of the same build. Moadig and the yellow paladin named Hunk. He pushed down the pang of sadness that came with any thought of either of them. 

“Where’s Pidge?” 

Moadig pushed himself up and gave Lance a reassuring smile. “They’re with Tekvee. She’s showing them the Tech Hut.” 

Lance nodded and hid his disappointment. He wanted to see them. He wanted to apologize. Make up for the time he’s lost with them. Most of all he just wanted to lay in bed with them as they rambled on about nothing as he tried to unknot their hair. Like how he would’ve normally. Stars, his decision to stay on Venellmet was becoming more impossible with each passing days these Paladins stayed. 

“You remembered them, huh?” A quiet voice wondered. 

He looked over at the paladin and refrained from wincing. The sadness in those brown eyes seemed too familiar. Hunk was holding his knees to his chest and staring intently at him, tired creased under his lids. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I did.” 

The paladin seemed to deflate. He leaned further into his knees and held them tighter. Lance could see the tears forcing their way to the surface. He had to turn away and look at anything but that frown. It made him too inexplicably sad. It was a complicated feeling that he was too tired to deal with. 

He subtly massaged his temple and stood up. Moadig looked like he was ready to catch him if he fell. Like he was weak. Useless. Those old doubtful feelings came back in a rush. Everyone’s been worried about him. But why? It’s not like he did anything too important in the first place. 

He suddenly wanted to either punch something or burst into tears. His emotions swirled inside him too fast for him to decipher them. He couldn’t tell what he was feeling. He couldn’t tell if this feeling was from the past, an effect of Haggar’s spell, or something totally new and random. Either way, he did not like it one bit. 

“I think I should go back on patrol,” He stated rather than suggested. 

Both teens in the room sprang up. 

“You need more time to heal. You just woke up from passing out.” Moadig grabbed his shoulder as if to keep him there. 

For some reason, Lance looked to Hunk for an objection. As if Hunk were to say no he would listen. But when their eyes met the boy looked away with sadness. His shoulders slumped beneath Moadig’s hand. 

“I think I’ve healed enough.” With that, he pulled his shoulder away and grabbed his weapon before shoving past the cloth. 

He was only a few steps toward the patrol line to tell someone he was going to take their place when he heard footsteps behind him. Sighing, he turned around expecting to have to fight Moadig like he did Tekvee. But when he looked up there wasn't yellow sunshine eyes hardened into rocks. There were regular brown eyes that seemed to be creased in...fear?

Lance didn’t say anything. He tilted his head and crossed his arms giving the boy a segway to explain what he was doing. 

“I don’t exactly like the idea of you going on patrol either. No, wait!” he grabbed Lance as he tried to walk away. Reluctantly he turned. “I’m not trying to stop you,” Hunk insisted, “I’m going to join you.” From behind his back, he pulled out a weapon. 

Lance’s eyes widened. It looked exactly like his except for blue accents there was yellow. “Where’d you get that?” he blurted letting his stoic mask drop. 

Hunk looked at the weapon in his hand as if it were nothing. He slowly lowered his hand. “I got it from Allura and Coran. They gave it to us when we first came from Earth along with our armor.” He looked at the weapon with a fond look full of reminiscence. Something Lance couldn’t do. 

“Do you know where else you can get them?” 

He shook his head. “I’m pretty sure they were built specifically for the lions. I don’t really know. You’d have to ask Allura. Why?”

“No reason,” he lied, adjusting his built so that the blue weapon was hidden within his cloak. He rearranged his face into a bored expression. He didn't want to show the curiosity and denial that waged war inside him. “Since you’re coming with me I’d like to know what your weapon does. Maybe you can even tell me more about it. I’m intrigued about how it works.” 

Hunk nodded carefully. He could tell that Lance was not asking of mere interest. He seemed tense. Then it hit him. Lance had to have his bayard with him. Maybe Hunk could get him to remember something of Lance being a paladin. “Okay. I’ll let you lead the way as I talk.” 

They began to walk towards the border of the tribe. Lance lead the way only letting his eyes wander to Hunk every once in a while as he explained. 

“Allura explained to us how these worked and then let us sort of figure out the rest so I don’t know everything. The weapon is called a bayard. It takes shape based on your personality giving you a weapon most fitted for you.” 

“What are all your weapons?” he asked caressing the metal of his “bayard”. He faintly remembers the warship he woke up in saying something like that. He could be wrong. 

Hunk lifted up his bayard again. Lance watched as it glowed faintly before bursting into a large gun. “Mine is this. I don’t know the exact name for any of ours. I don’t really know anything about weapons. Pidge’s is like some bladed grappling hook. Keith has a sword. Shiro hasn’t really used his bayard since we took it from Zarkon. He uses his arm. I think he’s used to it. Allura has only used the bayard once or twice when showing us some stuff. Hers is like a long whip. Mostly though she uses a normal, or as normal as alien weaponry is, staff.”

He thought of his own bow and arrows. Did that fit his personality? Was it different before? Where did he even get the bayard? He wasn’t a paladin. Did he steal it? He froze and Hunk nearly ran into his back. What if he did steal it? Was he against the paladins? Did he use to work for the Galra? Had he stolen the entire blue lion from them? He’s pretty sure now that that’s what he had woke up in. 

Before Hunk could ask if he was alright he continued moving. 

“I think that these weapons were specially made for the lions. The Lions have slots beside their dashboard where we can stick the bayards in. When we’re combined as Voltron we can create other super cool weapons. We mostly only Keith’s sword though. Oh, and Pidge’s shield. The only people who haven’t used some sort of weapon or defense would be Shiro and y–the blue paladin.” 

He didn’t even bother contemplating over Hunk’s slip-up. Hunk probably was about to say the paladin’s name but didn’t trust him enough. It made sense. To Voltron, Lance was probably just another alien rebel going against the Galra. A very strange one. 

“Sometimes, our weapons change. Coran said they can upgrade or completely change along with our personalities. But so far, none of ours have changed. There’s probably more I could tell you but don’t remember right now.” 

“It’s fine,” Lance reassured, “I think I know enough. We’re almost to the patrol line anyways.”

Hunk didn’t respond. 

Suddenly a figure ran from the edge of the woods. Quickly Lance assessed the alien. He was short, his steel-blue ears shaped almost like a wolf’s. He wore a distressed vest with neat seams unlike Blueren’s and baggy trousers that ballooned out in the bottom. The Blueren human racked his mind for the tribe. 

“Hunter of Frellom?”

The alien bowed his head respectfully and he returned the gesture. “Taeke of Frellom. The Galra have been spotted advancing to the village. We fear they are planning to invade.” 

“Most likely. Have you spoke with one of the hunters?” 

“Nay, I was under the assumption that you were a hunter and we could find no other in just time.” 

“Only in training.”

“You then have more authorization than any normal tribe member. You are the first to get the news. Since it is a time of need you have the permission to give orders. What do think is the best course of action?”

He thought of the little strategy lessons Strolry, Linthu, and Gekvide had given him. He was going to have to put his little knowledge to use.

“Okay. Do you know if they are coming in a certain direction?”

Taeke nodded. “They have no certain path. From what we could see the tribe is surrounded.”

Lance cursed under his breath and looked at Hunk. The boy was chewing on his nails nervously, eyes darting this way and that. 

“We’re gonna need more hunters. Do you know the messenger Nateu?”

“Yeh.”

“Send him to the closest tribes. Tell him to ask for their help and to recruit their messengers to spread the word to other tribes warning them and letting them no that if all does not go well and we need their desperate help we will use the Light. Then I wish for you to gather all Lead hunters in the Hunter hut so they can discuss a more solid plan. As you do this, warn all hunters on patrol, and off, that the Galra are near and we need all forces at the ready. Do you follow?”

“Yeh.” 

He guessed that as a paladin, Hunk would have some experience with battle. He turned to the anxious human. “Do you have any other suggestions?” 

Hunk looked surprised to be addressed. He nodded and his posture straightened. “I think we should also warn the villagers. I remember something about them being handed weapons. They can prepare to defend themselves. Also, I think we should have all healers ready in case someone gets hurt. Um. I think that’s all I can think of. Oh! And have Tekvee and Pidge hack whatever Galran system they can.”

“I will begin my task. I agree with and respect you, human of Blueren.” 

“And I shall begin mine. I agree with and respect you, steel-skinned hunter of Frellom.” 

With a bow, Taeke scurried away. 

Lance turned to face Hunk. All sadness that he held whenever he looked at the teen had faded into determination. Determination to keep Blueren safe. The families inside Blueren. 

“I wish to come with you to alert the paladins of Voltron,” he said still in his formal mode. 

Hurriedly they headed to the guest hut. Lance burst past the cloth with Hunk right behind him. Thankfully all the paladins were present. 

Pidge was happily playing with a small robot, an adorable smile on their face. He had to resist smiling himself at the scene. Allura and Coran were sitting on a cot looking at some Altean device, faces more content than he’s ever seen them. Keith and Shiro were also sharing a cot except they were distanced from each other. Keith was sitting at the edge with his knees against his chest. He was hugging that green jacket that seemed so similar to the one his sister wore in his one and only memory of her. Shiro almost seemed like he was sleeping. But instantly each of them dropped what they were doing and diverted their attention to the frantic teens in front of them.

Shiro was the first to react. “What’s wrong?”

“The Galra are attacking.” 

Each of the paladins and their princess and advisor stood. 

“What do wish for us to do?” Allura asked, stance ready for any battle she was handed. 

“I have somewhat of a plan. Pidge, find Tekvee and help her get into the Galra’s systems. Princess, Coran, go the lead hut. I think you’d be great at strategizing with Adae and Ferin the tribe Leads. Shiro, Keith, I think you’d be best assisting the hunters in defending the border. Hunk since it was your idea I think it best you go help the village and the healers.”

For a moment there was nothing but silence as they stared at him, eyes wide. They were surprised. By what? He didn’t know. Then everything and everyone began to move. Pidge tapped their small robot on its top and it followed her out. They gave him a quick hug and even their robot nudged his leg as a cat would. Hunk ran out, throwing a quick encouraging smile Lance didn’t know he needed until then. Allura put her device away and walked politely out. Coran followed patting him on the shoulder. Shiro’s arm began to glow purple and he rushed past the cloth. Lance waited for Keith to leave but the red paladin seemed frozen. 

He walked up and stared into those purple eyes. The boy’s cheeks were oddly rosy and his mouth was wide. 

“Keith?”

As if woken from a trance he shook his head. “Assist the hunters, right.”

He was almost out the door when he stopped. Lance was right behind him and stood there trying to keep his patience. What was the deal?

Abruptly Keith turned and stood on his toes. He grabbed Lance’s shoulders and pulled himself a little higher. Then his lips met Lance’s cheek. He pulled away and looked into the shocked boy’s eyes. “Please don’t make me have to wait by your healing cot again.” Then without another word, he hurried out. 

Lance felt his cheek. Somehow it seemed softer than before. But he pulled his hand away. Right now wasn’t the time to ponder a simple kiss on the cheek. Enemies were invading. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I feel like I posted this so late. I literally just posted this. I now have Thanksgiving break to catch up. Knowing me and the projects I've been assigned I probably won't even though I have the time to. Mental stability is a little shaky but I've been doing well. Can't wait for Thanksgiving. So happy Thanksgiving or whatever you might celebrate! <3


	19. Light of the Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a goal. He gives a pretty good pep talk. The Galra attack and they fight. Haggar comes and threatens the Light. She challenges Lance to a game. He plays. Keith recognizes something. Lance wins. But at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

[Keith’s P.O.V]

They had all been surprised when Lance had burst into the hut and took charge. It was a talent the paladins had only seen glimpses of during battles when Lance handed out advice to be taken. But when he had stood before them it was on a whole different level. The others might’ve been surprised. Keith had been in awe. 

He couldn’t help but notice the way Lance stopped caring about the fact that he was displaying his wounded arms. His hands were clenched into fists. The way his mouth had set into a determined line that not even his many freckles could make childish. His eyebrows were arched and his eyes were creased almost angrily. 

It had stunned him. He heard his orders but he didn’t register them. Not until those freckles were in his face. He tried to ignore the sudden bundle of feelings nearly bursting out his heart but couldn’t in the end. So he kissed Lance on the cheek and ran. He didn’t even bother seeing Lance’s reaction. Probably disgusted. 

But now he was determined too. The small kiss had somehow sent energy coursing through his body. And one thing repeated in his head until it split into more. Protect Lance. Protect Lance. Protect Lance. Protect Pidge. Protect Hunk. Protect Shiro. Protect Allura. Protect Coran. Protect the planet. 

The feeling was new. The urge to protect others. That love that surged within him whenever he thought of them. And slowly he was beginning to accept the feeling instead of pushing it away. Because here was his family. And he was going to protect them unlike his family could for him. 

He caught up with Shiro easily. Who was wasting time explaining stuff.

He held out an arm in front of the man, interrupting him. 

“You all are hunters. On Venellmet that means you are gifted with the language of fighting. So, think of your family, think of this tribe’s family. Let your instincts take over. Now is the time to stop caring about words and the time to care about where you place your target and where you place your blade. It’s time to fight!” 

The hunters cheered and raised their weapons before spreading around the border. Shiro gave him a smile and whispered a teasing eloquent before joining the soldiers.

Footsteps joined behind him. He turned to see Blueren’s hunters. He tried not to choke when seeing Lance, that knot of feelings not yet gone. He had to say the tribe’s fighting wear fitted the boy well. 

They were all dressed in leather pants that reached their heels then stopped giving their bare feet some protection. They wore loose poncho-like tops with hoods that did not fully cover their gauze-wrapped stomachs. Keith warily noticed that the outfits were better suited for movement rather than defense.

Blocking out images of how easily a sword could easily pierce that blue top, he faced them fully. He avoided looking at Lance which was for some reason was in front of them all. Of course, that meant he was the one talking. 

“A plan has been discussed. We will fight the flesh Galra as normal. In the case that we see an important figure like last time, we will retreat and fortify the village. If the hunters become overwhelmed we will resort to the Light, a beacon to the other tribes that we are in need of help. If the situation becomes desperate we wish for you to call your lions. But for whatever reason, we have not seen them yet we respect.”

Keith tried not to react to the formality of Lance’s tone. It hurt a little if he had to be honest. The way he addressed him as if he were a stranger. Even though technically, in Lance’s eyes, he was just as good as one. 

He nodded. “Is there a way I’m supposed to give you respects?”

Lance took a step forward and bowed, the other hunters following. “I agree with and respect you, red paladin of Voltron.”

“I agree with and respect you human of the hunters.”

Lance smirked but without any of his usual cockiness. “Of Blueren.”

He took a step back and in, unison the hunters pulled hoods over their faces casting shadows across their grim mouths. Keith could swear he saw Lance’s eyes glow blue in the grey. He had to resist reacting yet again. 

Now, he told himself, it’s time to fight. No more thinking of Lance and your unrequited crush on him. He finally joined his fellow paladins and they all exchanged a look. The one that sort of told each other that they were there. It was a reassuring tradition before battles. 

It was only a few minutes before they all heard a rumble that vibrated through the dirt. The uniformed marches of Galran sentries. He formed his sword and got into a fighting stance. Before the Galra arrived he searched for the person that will probably, no matter how much it bothered him, be on his mind the entire fight. 

There he was, arguing with the purple-eared alien. The one he had been so close with. Keith suppressed a growl and hoped that the alien prayed to the stars that he didn’t hurt Lance. Otherwise, he’d have hell to pay. But Lance seemed more irritated than hurt. He indicated to himself and got in Acrijwim’s face. Keith was familiar with that gesture. He had been in the receiving end several times. Acrijwim grew red but kept insisting on something. In the end, Lance crossed his arms and began walking to a tree. The alien pulled him close at the last second and kissed him. Keith growled then. Quietly. Lance paused but felt his cheek. Where Keith had kissed him. Then with shock, Keith watched as Lance climbed up a tree effortlessly. 

Then the rumble grew loud enough to shake his whole body. That’s when he stopped paying attention to the former paladin and faced the woods. 

They knew the tribe was ready. They seemed to come at the hunters with everything they had. Things grew bad real quick. 

There was a lot of Galra. Keith hid behind a large rock and pulled Shiro with him. “I think we need to use the Light.”

Shiro nodded. “I’ll tell the Blueren hunters. The Light is apparently hidden. Are you hurt?”

“Only scratches and bruises. You?”

Shiro shook his head. Keith jumped over the rock and took out the nearest Galran soldier. “Go!” He shouted. 

Shiro ran. 

Keith fought and fought. Soon he began to notice that more hunters were falling than sentries. What had Blueren ever done to them? That was a silly question. They didn’t have to do anything in the first place. The Galra just liked to take freedom away. And Venellmet was actually able to defend their freedom unlike most. 

Suddenly there was a purple flash and everyone grew still. Like dominoes, one by one hunters and Galra alike fell the to ground. Not dead. But frozen. Paralyzed. He waited for his own bones to lock up and is legs to give out beneath him. But they didn’t. The same seemed to go for any human breed. When he looked he could see Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, and even Lance up in his tree, looking down at the scene in alarm. They all met eyes and dropped to the floor. As an act. 

A figure stepped out from the woods. Haggar. She held a shining crystal that gave off a magnificent blue light. 

“Lance!” She called in a sickeningly sweet voice. 

He looked to the hunter-in-training. Lance’s eyes were wide and he was covering his mouth. 

“I have the Light!” She threw it in the air and caught it. Lance was now gripping the tree with fear. “I think you know what would happen if I destroyed it. Let’s play a little game. I’ll let your soldiers and mine fight. But while they fight you, and you alone, must take the crystal from me. If you can’t get it but the time my army wins I crush it. If you get it before then I’ll retreat. But my sentries and I will throw everything we have at you. So, do you wanna play?”

Keith was about to scream for Lance not to because he knew with everything in him that Lance would absolutely play her terrible, sick game. But he was too late. 

Lance flipped out the tree impressively and flicked his hood off. It was like a scene out of a movie. “I’ll play.”

Haggar laughed making him cringe. “I was wondering where you were. Hiding. Of course. I bet your body still hurts. I bet your mind feels like it’s going to explode.”

On cue, Lance flinched and his hand clenched into a fist before it could reach his head. “Why are you doing this? Why are you messing with my mind?” 

Haggar’s ranting abruptly stopped. The glare she directed at Lance was deadly cold. “You will remember soon. I will make sure you remember with more pain than you have ever felt. What you feel now will be child’s play compared to when you remember my husband’s death. You will feel like how I felt as I felt him grow cold beneath my fingers.” 

Lance scowled back with just as much ferocity. “At least, you can remember who you loved, witch! Start the game so that I can protect the people who I know!” 

Keith felt those words pierce his heart.  _ At least you can remember who you loved.  _ Had Lance been struggling with what he forgot this whole time?

Before he could think more time unpaused. People stood and fought as if nothing had happened. And it didn’t seem like they could see the Druid in front of them who crackled with black lightning. 

He had to help. He ran and looked for one of the paladins. He found Hunk tending to people at the edge. He couldn’t see Lance at the moment. 

“Hunk, we need to help him!”

“We can’t,” Hunk replied, “He has to do it himself.”

“So what? What if he’s hurt?” 

A sort of designated calm took over the brown boy. “Keith, I know you love him but have faith as well. He can handle himself.” And then he pointed behind Keith. He turned around and his mouth dropped open. 

Lance was in ready position to run, his face eerily calm. It almost scared Keith. He whipped out a weapon and Hunk gasped at the sight of the blue bayard. It lit up before shifting into a sturdy blue bow. A quiver of arrows sat atop Lance’s back. Keith felt a sudden sadness. Lance had changed so much from the boy he had a crush on. He had grown. So much that his bayard has completely changed. 

Then he ran. And Keith knew that no matter how much the boy had changed he felt the same. He sank to his knees and watched as Lance shot down soldiers and cut them down with single arrows. He winced as Galrans sliced at him and hit him. With despair, he realized that he loved his boy. He loved Lance McClain. 

He wanted to cry out when Lance finally got to Haggar. She was ready. Her white hair began to move with nonexistent wind. From her hands weaved a ribbon of black and violet. And she aimed. And she shot. 

Hunk pulled Keith to him. He kept Keith from running to Lance as he got hit over and over with that ribbon. His grip was incredibly strong. Even as Keith kicked and hit, he held on. 

“Hunk!” he screamed, “Let me go! He’s getting hurt! Hunk he’s your friend! Hunk he’s not gonna make it!” 

When Hunk began to cry silently Keith stopped struggling. He let out his own tears as he watched the boy he loved get beaten down again and again. He was about to lose hope when Lance got low to the ground and pulled a glowing arrow from his quiver. He shoved it into the ground and it burst into a light so bright that everyone had to cover their eyes. Keith could hear Haggar scream with rage and pain. 

The light died down. Haggar was in the ground her hair limp and her magic completely gone. Everyone else was in the ground as well, bodies froze with shock. Lance was the only one standing. His body was illuminated with a magical blue. His quintessence. He held up the crystal with triumph. “Retreat,” He said in that cocky voice that Keith had grown to like. 

“You little brat,” she whispered in a way that echoed through the whole battlefield, “How?”

“Maybe I have a little magic of my own.”

She sneered and stood weakly. “I won’t turn back on my deal. Especially not the one I made before. You will know how I felt. Sentries, retreat!”

Gradually, one by one, each Galran left. Haggar followed them, her anger felt by everyone. 

Keith realized Hunk has let him go and ran. He almost reached Lance when the glow left his skin and he held the crystal tight to his chest as he fell. His body hit the grass with a thud and the area echoed with silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I said I would catch up during Thanksgiving break I thought I would catch up. I did. I also wrote two extra. Warning the next chapter I nearly cried while writing. Hehe, I'm so evil >: ) So glad because I got assigned two projects due by the end of the week. Cheers to school! Hope you enjoyed the chapter <3


	20. Hysteria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something weird is happening with Lance. Keith gets help from Allura. He gets jealous. Somehow he is the only one allowed in. Lance's astral plane is insane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: Blood, mentions of self-harm, and mentions of self-harm. If you see something more that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

  
[Keith’s P.O.V.]

Unlike last time, he didn’t freeze up and cry. He ran with fury. He didn’t care about the others who rose and tried to get there too. He pushed them out the way without a second thought. He was a defender of the universe, yeah. But these aliens were not apart of his universe. Right now, his universe was small. It had shrunk into a small light that focused on one person. The person who was currently convulsing as sparks of blue and purple fought around his body.

He skidded onto his knees and shook Lance. Maybe if he just woke up the weird pulses would stop. What if they were painful? Experimentally, he reached out and touched one. The buzz that went through him didn’t exactly hurt but at the same time, it did. It was hard to describe. It was the kind of uncomfortable pain that you couldn’t get rid of. That made you want to claw at your face just to get rid of it.

He pulled his hand away and accepted that whatever these things were doing, they weren’t going to let Lance wake up.

He looked around for the one person he thought could help while trying his best to remain calm. “Allura!” he called out. It seemed she had already been running. She hurried through the crowd, much more polite than he had been. Expected behavior from a princess. It wasn't expected when she started ordering people to get out of her way, their hunter was hurt.

A little too slow for his liking, she kneeled down beside Lance’s body. Keith let go and scooted back just in case she had to do some magic ritual or something. Her hands glowed their usual pink as she lowered them on Lance’s side. He was prepared for the sparks to immediately disappear. Instead, Allura drew back as if stung.

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head with the same confusion. “I don’t exactly know.” She examined her hands, turning them over like they were broken parts to be fixed. “The two entities are different kinds of magic. The blue I believe is Lance’s quintessence trying to lessen the effects of the other. The other must be Haggar’s magic. It seems to be messing with Lance’s head. From what I could tell, his brain was overstimulated. He’s not fighting the magic like his quintessence is. He’s fighting his own mind.”

“What does that mean?”

“He’s seeing things in his own head that are probably traumatic. But instead of locating the root and tearing it out, he’s just cutting himself up trying to stop it. In a figurative or literal sense.”

It still didn’t make much sense to Keith but he understood that Lance was hurting himself for some terrible reason.

“Do you know how to stop it?”

The princess nodded her head tentatively, biting her lip.

“How?” Keith leaned forward over Lance’s body and looked into her bright eyes.

“He has to stop fighting.”

“What? How is that going to help?”

“I’m sure the magic is meant to make him struggle within himself. So he has to relax and ignore the events is taking place in his mind space. His astral plane. But I think we can help him. I think I can’t fight back the magic. But I can reach him so that we can talk to him. Tell him that he needs to stop.”

“Okay,” he said letting his head drop with tiredness, “Let’s get him to the cot and while you reach him maybe you can explain to us what an astral plane is.”

Hunk moved forward to help him move Lance but he held out an arm and stopped him. “I got it,” he assured. He put his left arm under Lance’s neck and put his other under his knees. The boy was too light in his arms. For just a quick second he lowered his face to Lance’s and kissed his cheek again. “I asked to not have to wait by your healing cot, you idiot.”

Then he was moving, ignoring the hunters cleaning themselves up around him. He was ready to keep walking until Lance was back in that cot that might as well become his home when he was blocked by five figures.

The Blueren hunters lowered their hoods and looked at who he was holding. He observed their reactions resisting the urge to just kick them out of his way. Linthu looked worried but not in the sense that he specially cared. He was concerned but not to the point that indicated the two were close. Tekvee’s jaw looked clench and she avoided looking at Lance’s face. She was close to him. Strolry had her arms crossed over her chest protectively as if she were to let go her concern would burst right out of her heart. She looked close to tears as her eyes darted frantically, following the conflicting beams of light. Moadig looked guilty. Like him getting hurt was his fault.

Then there was Acrijwim. He was stepping closer, getting in Keith’s personal space. He didn’t even acknowledge the red paladin and held out his arms as if he would just willingly dump the injured human on him. “What happened?”

Keith gripped onto Lance tighter. “He was injured in a fight with Haggar that she made sure you didn’t notice.” He didn’t bother hiding the growl beneath his voice. He just made sure the hunters knew it was directed at Acrijwim. It probably wasn’t the best thing to do considering Acrijwim was his ally but when that purple-eared alien stood there acting like Lance was his possession to fix, he really didn’t give a crap.

Acrijwim seemed to get the hint and backed away his worried expression morphing into a sneer. “I’ll take him.”

Keith ignored him and walked around purposely bumping his shoulder.

With quick steps, he made it to the hut and laid Lance out before Allura who was waiting with a confused expression.

“And why are you so angry? And don’t just tell me because Lance is hurt,” she demanded looking at the doorway with expecting eyes.

“Just Acrijwim. Treats Lance like his boyfriend or something.”

Allura hummed with a small smile, “Maybe because he is.”

Keith jerked up. “What?”

“The alien is courting our former paladin.”

He gripped the cot’s frame and held himself back from taking his bayard and just slicing the Venellmetan up.

“Are you possibly jealous?” She asked teasingly. Her eyes began to glow as she smiled and she shut them.

“Why would I be?”

Her smile flipped and she sighed. “If I am being honest I don’t like it either. It feels like he is taking a brother from me. But I know your feelings are a bit different. Much more romantic. You aren’t subtle.”

Before he could deny, the paladins and hunters entered. Pidge and Tekvee were whispering to each other and Hunk and Moadig seemed to be comforting the other silently. Keith made eye contact with Acrijwim and let his contempt show. Acrijwim returned the greeting.

“I understand Lance is hurt but isn’t it magic-wise? How are we supposed to help?” Pidge asked.

“Lance’s astral plane might not let all your voice’s reach him. He needs someone that his astral plane knows is best for him. So I want each of you to try talking.”

“Before we try I need to explain the astral plane. Usually, all the paladins have the same astral plane because of their lions but Lance has been disconnected from Blue.”

With surprise, he noted that no one denied Lance being the blue paladin. It seems the hunters had already assumed.

“I don’t know what his personal mindspace will look like and I don’t know what type of barrier he has. Who would like to try first?”

Like the presumptuous jerk he was Acrijwim was the first to step forward. Keith leaned against the wall and crossed his arms hoping to whatever force was out there that the alien wasn’t the one Lance needed.

“Is there any downfall?” he asked.

“The only one I can think of is that it conflicts with the magic rooted in his mind. The one that brings specific memories back at a time. How it is affected is something I cannot predict.”

He nodded and Allura told him what he needed to do. He laid his forehead on Lance’s chest and held his hands. The lights seemed to avoid him, unlike Keith. He sat there for a moment before pulling away abruptly. He seemed hurt and embarrassed. It’s what he deserved.

“Since you were denied can you prepare us for what his barriers are?” Allura questioned politely. Keith wanted to kiss her right then for the look on her face. If he weren’t so gay. She looked like those girls who were rejecting guys kindly but mockingly at the same time.

“Water. Water and sadness. A tornado of it that just comes barreling at you.”

Each one of them tried. Everyone pulled away with that same hurt look. Until it was Keith’s turn. Now he was genuinely worried. Because why the hell would Lance let him in? Even before his memory loss, he had hated him. If Keith was his last hope then he might as well cut himself down now.

“Keith, try,” the princess said with a reassuring yet commanding tone.

Hesitantly he bent on his knees, grabbed Lance’s warm hands, and shut his eyes. He was tense when he opened the eyes of his mind, expecting a tsunami to come crashing down on him. But instead of a violent wave of rushing water, he only felt a cool misty breeze. When he looked down he saw he wasn’t in his paladin armor but a comfortable sweater and black jeans. Earth clothes. His bare feet sunk into warm sand.

He was in. How? What? Why? Why him?

Now wasn’t the time to ask questions. He needed to find Lance. On cue, a clap of thunder rolled through the air. Where he was it was all sunny but when he looked further down the shore he could see a storm.

He ran until his hair was drenched with rain and the sand beneath him seemed more like mud. Until he was in the center of the storm. Next to Lance.

Lance was pushing his palms over his ears shaking his head over and over. In one palm he held a bloody arrow. He was wearing two outfits that kept flickering. One was his usual baseball tee and the other was the hunter gear. And there was also another him peering up into the first’s face. His smile was one out of a horror movie.

“How does it feel to know all your old doubts and insecurities but not knowing why you feel them? It’s torture, huh?” it laughed and danced around Lance.

Lance took the arrow in his hand and swiped at it. The sharp point cut deep into its arm. But instead of defending itself it’s smile grew and he wiped a drop of blood coming from his mouth casually. Keith watched with horror as the cut formed on Lance’s skin. He realized that they shared the same cuts. He was slowly killing himself.

Suddenly Keith couldn’t move. It met his gaze and those beautiful blue irises morphed into slits. Then it began talking in a different voice.

“You were a mistake. Everything you’ve ever done disappoints us. When you went missing we were glad. Our family celebrated,” it jeered in a strong Spanish accent. It leaned in and whispered, “We told you we loved you. We lied.”

Lance screamed. “STOP!” He sank to his knees and sobbed, swiping at the apparition, only cutting himself up more. “Please, stop,” he whimpered.

It looked directly at him again when its mouth opened again. And out came his very own voice.

“Idiot. I’ve always been better than you. You’re just a cargo pilot. Not even. And you liked me. The voice in your head even when all else was lost. Me? No, I would’ve never told you to keep going. Because where are you really getting? Nowhere. You’re worthless. How could I ever want you?”

He screamed then. But nothing came out. It just kept smiling at him. Taunting him with his own voice. Hurting Lance with his own voice.

“I don't know you,” the boy sobbed, “I can’t love someone I don’t know. I can’t. I can’t. Can’t. Can’t.” He was holding his head again, his cuts getting deeper.

“No,” it drawled still using Keith’s voice, “You can’t love someone who hates you. Nothing can’t love the world.”

Lance snapped then. He screamed for it to stop until he grabbed it by the wrists and shoved it down. His arrow was poised over its heart.

“No!” Keith cried finally finding his voice. Kicking his feet out of their frozen state he grabbed Lance’s wrist.

“It’s not me. It’s not them. It’s not real. Everything is okay,” he whispered frantically.

“But he told the truth,” Lance said not even looking up at Keith. He tried lowering the arrow but Keith held tighter.

“No. Look at me. Lance, look at me!”

Lance finally turned his head. His eyes widened. “You?” Suddenly he flickered into his baseball tee and jeans. “Samurai?” He flickered back into the hunter outfit and he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “Who are you? Why are you in my head?”

Before he could grow more unstable Keith tore the arrow from his grasp and threw it into the roiling ocean. “I’m Keith,” he said, “I was your friend. I am your friend.”

Lance looked out at where the arrow had landed. He deflated and it faded away. “How am I supposed to know that. I don’t even know myself. I’m definitely not my friend.”

“Who cares if you don’t know?”

He looked at him with an ember of interest.

“You are you. No matter if it’s a new you. Who cares about these insecurities? Ask for help and be someone new without having to forget that you are different than you used to be.”

This stormy state of mind must be making him a little insane because he grabbed his arm and sank his nails into his skin. His eyes grew angry and he glared at Keith with such fury that Keith wanted to back away.

“I don’t care about myself! I don’t think I ever have! I don’t care! I don’t care! I only care about who I love! Who wants to care about me?” he shouted. He crawled away from Keith and searched the sand. He finally found whatever he was looking for. He pulled out a sharp rock and held it to his neck. Nononono.

Keith moved faster than he ever has before. He slapped the rock away from Lance and joined the hysteria that seemed to be apart of Lance’s head. He pushed Lance down with his body. “I care about you, you idiot! I freaking love you, okay. Is that enough? I don’t want you to hurt yourself!”

Lance just stared at him. Keith noticed the scratches on his face and began to cry. Lance did too.

The storm cleared and the ocean grew calm. They laid there and cried. “I–I wish I could remember you,” Lance whispered as he pulled Keith closer, “I think I loved you too. I think I could still love you. I wish I could remember this.” His tears soaked into Keith’s sweater.

“I think I do love you,” he said so soft Keith barely heard him.

Keith pulled away and examined Lance’s smile. It was watered down and his eyes were slowly closing. Then the plane faded away and Keith was left holding nothing. And he screamed into the empty space around him. For Lance. For him. For the pain that the people he loved always seemed to go through. But he realized as he began to fade too, that love was just painful. A good painful.

His real eyes flew open and he fell to the wooden floor.

“Keith, are you okay? Is Lance okay?”

He felt beneath his eyes and held onto the tears that fell down his face. He nodded and looked at where Lance was waking up. They met each other’s teary gazes.

Lance’s shoulders shook and he covered his face. “I can’t remember what you said. I want to so badly but I can’t.”

“Yeah,” Keith replied softly, “So do I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at like 12:00 am during Thanksgiving and I'm not gonna lie, I nearly cried during the last few paragraphs. Yeah, that just shows how much I love hurting my protagonists. Well, Voltron's protagonists. So much homework and midterms coming up I'm probably gonna use my other extra chapter. I can't wait till winter break. Hope you enjoyed the chapter <3


	21. Blank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has flashbacks but not the ones he wants. He needs to get some fresh air. Hunk finds him and something weird happens yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

 

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

If he was willing to forget anything, it’d be everything from the last couple of hours. He would eagerly trade them for that one moment that was foggy in his head. 

 

He tried again then, when everyone had left him to rest like usual, to bring the memory to focus. No one had hesitated to leave him. As if being alone would help him heal. Really, he needed someone to stay and make sure he didn’t pick up another rock. There! He remembered in his mindscape that he had picked up a rock. 

 

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to remember more. But just as the many times he tried before, nothing came but flashes of blood-soaked sand, an arrow floating on the ocean, and Keith. He was happy that, though he could never hear what he was saying to him, he could see everything he did. Even if it seemed as if he were screaming at Lance 95% of the time. 

 

But he saw as Keith struggled to help him. He winced as he watched Keith prevent him from killing himself. A smile was brought to his face when he could nearly feel as Keith laid his head on his chest. When he tracked the tears that fell onto his smile. Then there was nothing else. And it made him want to bang his head against the wall. Especially since he could remember every single thing before Keith enter his supposed astral plane. The way his head had seemed to split in two and he saw a version of himself that he’d never seen before. How to two of him were forced into one and he stopped being able to know what was real and what was fake. Then a third him had arrived. And from there it was just pure torture that he’d rather not try to recall. 

 

“So much smarter than you. Never was your best friend, not even your friend. You were a disappointment. We lied. Nothing can love the world.” 

 

He shot up from his cot with heavy breathing. The walls started to close in on him as the words in his head played on repeat like a broken record, painting the walls. He had to get out of there before he saw more evidence of his insanity. 

 

He grabbed his bayard but not his cloak. He welcomed the cold that bit at his pink flesh when he stepped out into the night air. His feet seemed to know where he was going before he did. Time passed weirdly before he suddenly arrived. He has definitely lost any ounce of sanity he once had. He blamed that witch’s magic. Before her, he had at least a shred of certainty. Of rationality.

 

Or at least he’s pretty sure he did. He couldn’t tell either way. 

 

He entered the training hut that he had been taken to when he had first asked Gekvide if he could play a part in protecting the planet. What good he was at that. 

 

Inside it was mostly empty but there was a wall of weapons he knew, what he thought to be weapons he’s never seen, and tools to help you practice with them. He went to the wall and grabbed a stack of wooden targets. 

 

The stack wasn’t heavy at all. In fact it was quite light. That’s why Lance was so confused when he was suddenly on the floor all the way across the room from the targets that had somehow gotten all over the place. 

 

He checked his head and other old injuries to see if they were bleeding or doing something that would’ve caused him to pass out. He didn’t find anything so he ignored it. As long as he didn’t have to go back to that cursed healing hut. 

 

Carefully, in case he really was hurt in some way, he picked up the targets, placing them back in a stack for him to hold. This time when he carried them he didn’t have a lapse of memory. 

 

Holding the stack, he slowly made his way to the clearing where his first training exercise had taken place. The game of Filkner that had planted the seeds of his attachment to Venellmet. That had only been about a movement ago but it felt like it had been decaphoebes. 

 

He went around the clearing and stuck targets on sharp branches of the incredibly tall trees. Then he sat in the center and pulled out his bayard. 

 

He watched as it seemed to have a hard time deciding his weapon before settling on his usual bow and a quiver of arrows grew from it by the straps and settled on his back. He examined it. His bayard hadn’t flickered since his first battle with the Galra. Maybe it was because of what he did yesterday with the glowing arrow that had made its way into his hand. Faintly, he could remember the magic that had rushed through him before he could see nothing but white. 

 

Then all the hell that had happened after. Dumb. Disappointment. Unworthy. Could never be a son to me. 

 

Abruptly, he stood. Leaves flew away, disturbed by the sudden movement. Their landing was louder then the turns that Lance took as he shot his arrows. The loudest noise was the thunk that they made when they hit the yellow center of the wood. Each hit echoed through the clearing like a gunshot. The sounds came faster and faster. 

 

But he didn’t tire. He couldn’t. He kept spinning and moving. And the arrows just disappeared right back onto his back. So he just kept pulling the string and letting them fly. Until it was enough. He had to move. He dropped his bayard to the dirt. 

 

He ran to the tree in front of him and climbed it. His goal was to climb the whole thing. He made it around halfway up when he stopped to look down. If anything but pure adrenaline had been coursing through his veins he would’ve yelped at how far he was from the ground. Instead he decided he wasn’t far enough. He kept going. 

 

When he finally stopped the air around him had thinned and he could feel clouds. The amount of energy he still had left would’ve amazed him if he wasn’t already aweing at the sun rise before him. “It’s just a sun rise, Lance. A billion sunrises happen a day.” He smiled at the faint memory of Pidge cooing over a piece of machinery. Then he blanked again. 

 

He came back to see that his cloak had been torn off and bandages wrapping his chest picked at. His hands were desperately holding a branch as his legs dangled through the air. Calmly, he loosened his grip and fell to the branch below him. 

 

He went down each branch patiently, looking around with each landing, taking in the beauty of nature. But at every branch he had to stop and take a breath. Because everytime he looked around he also saw what it could be. Dead trees, gray skies, the cawing of fighting birds, shriveled vines that dripped with blood. It was like the version of him from his mindscape was haunting him, ruining everything that was good. 

 

He was taking a breath when he heard someone.

 

“Lance?”

 

[Hunk’s P.O.V.]

 

He was the only one not asleep, his brain kept awake by anxiety and worry, when there was a sound that cut through the air. It was sharp and quick, resembling that of a gunshot. He had shot up from his makeshift pillow and hurried outside. It was only dawn and a glittering moon still shone brightly in the purple sky. But there were no purple bodies that indicated Galra. 

 

He was about to get the sleep he could before the sun rose when he heard it again. Then again and again until he was convinced that someone here had a something like a machine gun. He was surprised the others were still sleeping. Especially Keith who had been on high alert ever since he had found Lance drowning in a nearby lake.  

 

But Keith wasn’t up and ready to stab someone with his sword. Instead he was sleeping with Lance’s jacket that he only ever left behind if he was in battle. Even in his sleep he was holding it to his face as if the smell of Lance would bring the old him back. It made Hunk sad. 

 

He decided to investigate the noise himself then. If the Galra were here then Hunk could at least warn someone. And right now all he wished to do was protect Lance and protect the village he was attached to. He just had to ignore the fear that made his hands shake and his brain short-circuit. 

 

He grabbed his bayard but didn’t bother to don his armor. If he planned on not fighting then he shouldn’t need the protection. 

 

He waited for another thunk so he could follow it. But there was no thunk. There was a crash and Hunk heard a yelp that he knew all too well. He jogged to a clearing with an oddly perfect circle of trees. In the center of it all was a blue bayard. He rushed to it and examined it for any damage. There wasn’t a scratch or dent on it but it seemed warm, as if it were used for a long time. 

 

He was ready to move on when he heard a soft woosh. He spun around and activated his bayard aiming it at a tree. Or the person in the tree. 

 

It was Lance. He was squatting on a branch casually on hand thrown over his knee and the other holding onto the branch above him and his blue cloak. The wrappings on his stomach tattered and the bandages on his chest were peeling off. But his face was calm and composed. 

 

“Hunk?”

 

Immediately he lowered his gun and let it disappear. “Lance? What are you doing out of bed?” 

 

For a second his formal expression broke before he inhaled and jumped down to the ground. “I don’t need to recover. I’m fine.” 

 

Hunk was about to protest when Lance suddenly dropped his cloak and his pupils dilated. He looked around frantically before he saw Hunk. He ran to him and held his shoulders. “Hunk! Finally. Where are we? What the hell am I wearing?”

 

Hunk looked at the boy, speechless. “What?” was all he could manage. 

 

Lance’s forehead creased. “Where’s the castle. Where’s everyone else. Where’s Keith? Did something happen. Buddy?”

 

This was the old Lance. Only he would call Hunk buddy like that. But where was the new Lance. What in the world was going on? Before he could figure anything out Lance pulled away and fell to the ground, his eyes and face returning to how it was. 

 

He mumbled to himself before picking himself up and putting his cloak back on. “I blanked again. What happened?”

 

Hunk was struck still. He didn’t know how to feel or what to do. His best friend had just come back before his eyes before abruptly going back to being memory-less. Well he didn’t have the memories of being on Venellmet. Ugh, this was getting confusing. “You….changed.” 

 

Lance’s eyebrows rose with confusion. “What do you mean?” 

 

“I don’t exactly know. I think we should go to Allura.” 

 

Lance nodded and picked up his bayard. 

 

“Before we find her can I ask you something?” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“First of all have you been feeling weird lately? Second of all what were you doing here? I was hearing a bunch of, like, gunshots.”

 

“No. And I came her so I could get away.” He didn’t let Hunk ask any more questions and began to walk away in search of Allura. 

 

Hunk just followed, not knowing a thing about what just happened. 

 

“Lance, what did you need to get away from?” he asked, pushing branches out of the way so he didn’t get hit in the face. 

 

Lance paused for just a moment and crossed his arms over himself, “Everything. Old and new.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first of all sorry for all the mistakes. My computer is acting up and its glitching everything up. My mom and I are going to take it somewhere but I don't know when. With this and other stress (mainly school) I might go on hiatus for a week. I don't really know for sure but its just a warning if there's no chapter next week. Omg season eight comes out this week. I'm not ready. And who else was destroyed by Catneylangs animatic. I'm too emotional to deal with all this crap. But I was looking through my comments last night and honestly they made me so happy. Thank you guys so much for your support and dealing with my weird endnotes. Love you all and hopefully you and I enjoy season eight<3


	22. I Protest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance figures out what's wrong with him. Acrijwim is fluffy. Keith doesn't like that fluffiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Tumblr: star_bookworm . Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

Lance sat against the tree, arms crossed and one leg laid out, one leg raised. It had taken a lot of fighting for him just to be there. Alone at least. Especially after the magic diagnostic the princess had given him and Hunk after something had happened in the clearing.

Lance had tried to block out the more unnecessary parts of her explanation. It’s not that he goofed off and ignored her. No, he just didn’t want to know how messed up he was. Well how much more he’s been messed up. He only listened to what she said first. The only thing he needed to hear. His quintessence messed with the magic that the Galra witch had rooted into his head and sort of altered its effects. His memories would come back by large triggers just as before except now there were smaller triggers, such as a familiar smell or insignificant object, that made all his old memories rush back for a period of time taking away his new ones. Basically who he used to be would resurface every once in a while, forgetting who he was now, and then dive right back under that film that kept the current Lance from his old memories. It sounded more complicated than it was. Or maybe he just wanted it to be simpler. So that maybe the painful knot in his head could be more easily untangled.

Speaking of the knot in his head, he was considering banging his head on the trunk behind him just so that he could stop thinking for one second. He had absolutely no idea what to do with himself. He had no idea how to fix himself and it was like an itch that wouldn’t go away, no matter how much you scratched at it. And he didn’t know whether to wait for who knows how long until the itch subsides or tear the source off. He also didn’t know how to tear the source off. In conclusion, he didn’t know what to do at all.

He let out a soft sigh and slumped even further, shutting his eyes. He didn’t even open them when he heard approaching footsteps. He doesn't know exactly when or how but he grew to recognize the footsteps of the people he knew well. And the rest of the paladins that he didn’t remember yet. Oh, there’s another thing. He’s probably the blue paladin but he wants to stay in denial.

“Hey, Acrijwim,” he said scooting over.

The alien mumbled a reply before joining Lance. He pulled Lance into his arms and laid his chin on his head. Lance melted into the embrace with his routine of shaking off that wrongness that burst from his heart every time Acrijwim showered him with affection.

“I’m guessing someone told you about my Blackouts,” he murmured into Acrijwim’s chest.

“Strolry has become very close with the Altean princess. She was most likely one of the first to know before she came to me. She told me both about the magic and your episodes.”

“Blackouts,” Lance insisted for what seemed like the hundredth time that hour. Allura and Hunk had called them episodes at first, too. But Lance didn’t like that describing it that way. It made him feel weak or disabled.

“Yes, your Blackouts,” Acrijwim replied before pulling him even closer and Lance was nearly in his lap. “Just a warning I was sent to take you to Moadig and Strolry so they could watch you. They’ll probably send someone else soon. I thought you’d need the time.”

“Thinks, Im.”

“Im?”

“Yep.”

“I like that.”

It stayed quiet for a while before Lance’s head began to busy with questions again. “What if I have a Blackout for a long time? What if I Blackout forever? Would you still…” He trailed off, not really knowing what he was indicating.

“Lance, I would love any part of you. I know for sure that I would find myself loving both sides of you. Because no matter what you’re Lance. And I love Lance.”

Lance lifted his head and looked at the Ven’s blushing cheeks and twinkling eyes. “Love?”

“Yes, I love you Lance the human.”

He frantically tore Acrijwim’s hands away from him and landed awkwardly on the grass. “But…” He ran a hand through his messy hair and stared at the grass, a million thoughts crowding his head. “But how?” How could anyone love me?

Acrijwim moved forward leaning off the tree, mouth open. They were interrupted by a loud thump. Before he turned around Lance noted the way Acrijwim’s smile curved down into a scowl.

He turned to meet Keith’s stare. Absentmindedly he felt his cheek. Those stormy eyes followed the gesture.

Keith pulled his red sword from the ground and let it fade away with an almost dramatic flair. That was unusual for the Keith Lance knew. Maybe that’s how he was around the old him. Then Keith seemed to notice Acrijwim and he crossed his arms. His usual glare was back and maybe even a bit harsher. Did something happen between the two?

“Strolry sent me. She wants Lance to be safe if that’s alright with him.”

Lance pushed himself off the floor, forgetting about what had just occurred between him and Acrijwim. He moved his hands inwards then out in a _no_ motion. “Excuse me, I don’t need to be watched like some baby. I’m strong enough to take care of myself. I don’t need any more time to recover.”

For some reason, Keith smiled. His face softened and the angles that formed it seemed to curve. It was kind of like a baby's face. A cute one. Mentally he slapped himself and waited for Keith’s response.

“Who said you were getting any more bed rest. I may have had to argue with Hunk and Allura but we came to an agreement. You can go on patrols all week. But we want you to go on patrols with us, the paladins. Just in case you Blackout. You’ll recognize us. You might not right now but your old self did.” He seemed to sadden as he explained the deal.

Lance was starting to realize, more and more, that he had been close to paladins before his head injury. But he was still certain that he wasn’t the blue paladin. He wasn’t worthy.

Acrijwim stood up quickly and pushed in front of him. “I’m not okay with this. He doesn’t know you. I think the hunters should do it. Why shouldn’t we have a say.” He was angry. For what reason, Lance couldn’t tell. There was no reason for him to be mad. It was just the paladins patroling with him. That could actually help the relationship between Venellmet and Voltron.

Keith inhaled and exhaled as if he were barely containing his own anger. He only spoke again after adjusting his jacket and feeling its fabric. “First of all, Gekvide approved this agreement. Second of all I never said we’re going to force Lance into patrolling with us. It’s up to him.” With that Keith turned to Lance, completely ignoring the furious alien. “So are you okay with that?’

Lance should’ve replied immediately with a yes. But he was speechless. Because this was a new feeling, having someone ask his opinion. He was sure of it by the way his heart clenched and he felt like jumping with joy. But after a bit of time spent composing himself, he replied, “Sounds like a plan.”

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

Keith was just laying on his bed doing nothing but thinking when Shiro entered the building. He didn’t acknowledge the older man and continued to stare at the beams of the roof. He was content with zoning out until his turn to patrol but apparently, Shiro wasn’t.

He was pulled from his thoughts when the black paladin tugged the sleeve of his shirt. He instinctively shot up and faced Shiro with alertness. He relaxed when he realized who was bothering him.

“Hey, Shiro.”

“Don’t you have anything to do?” Shiro asked instead of returning the greeting with a concerned expression. It wasn’t like Keith to not be doing something.

“Not for hours. Then I patrol the border.”

“Well, maybe you should explore the village. We all have except you. And I guess if you don’t want to do that you can go to one of the hunters and ask if they need help with anything.”

Keith sighed dramatically and stood up, tucking his knife into its sheath and pulling on Lance’s jacket without thinking about it.

“Are you gonna give that back to Lance sometime?” wondered Shiro.

Keith froze and avoided turning to look at his friend. He didn’t want the man to see his red cheeks. “Of course,” he answered to chirpily, “I just haven’t seen him very much because I don’t know how he feels about me. It’s awkward.”

“Mhmm,” Shiro hummed in a way that let Keith know he didn’t believe his lie.

“I’m gonna go to the Hunters hut and see if they need anything,” Keith mumbled resuming his path.

He faintly heard Shiro as he walked away from the building, “If you need me I’m here.”

He kept adjusting and re-adjusting the green jacket he wore, not because it was uncomfortable, but because it was too comfortable. The way Lance’s scent surrounded him reminding him of all the times they had been close together. Soft Lance. Of how it used to be before Lance changed. Keith didn’t mean when he forgot his memories. But when he became a shell of who he was an grew distant from the rest of the team. The way the worn down fabric felt against his skin, how it must’ve felt against Lance’s. He felt like someone could see into his head and see what he was thinking. That was what made him uncomfortable.

He tried to act as natural as he could when he stepped into the lead hut. As usual, the first thing he did was observe what was going on.

Allura and Strolry were sitting on the floor in front of what seemed like a very short desk examining a jar that lit up blue. Allura seemed to be explaining something to her Venellmetan friend very dramatically. Hunk sat on a rug biting his nails nervously. It was obvious something had happened.

“Is everything all right?” he asked interrupting Allura’s passionate gesturing.

Everyone in the room looked up at him. Allura and Hunk exchanged a hesitant glance as if they were debating telling him whatever was going on.

“I was just explaining to Strolry what’s wrong with Lance,” she explained.

Keith could see Hunk slap his forehead at Allura’s wording. That was not the right thing to say to the boy who had feelings for Lance.

“And what’s wrong with Lance?” Keith asked hurriedly, nearly running to sit beside the two girls. He ignored the fact that he had nearly face-planted when his foot met the edge of a randomly placed rug. It seemed to be a thing on Venellmet to have them scattered around a room as common decoration.

“Well the magic Haggar placed in him has been tampered with again, maybe even alters dare I say. It seems whatever she did to him was very flexible. No matter what you do to it it seems to change with just as much negative effect as before.”

Keith put his chin in his hand and tapped the wooden floor with the other impatiently, waiting for the Altean to actually explain what’s up with Lance now.

“What the magic is doing now is almost splitting him into two personalities. The personality he has with his old memories and not the new ones, and the way he is now without his old memories. He has these small triggers from his past that will cause him to have an episode, or as he insists “Blackout.” For an unknown period of time, he becomes who he used to be. The negative of that is that he doesn’t know where he’s at, who’s he around, or about anything else. So he either knows all about his past, or all about his present. But never both at the same time.”

Keith didn’t particularly care about all the magic crap. He just wanted to know one thing, “Could this hurt him?”

Allura spread out her fingers and took great interest in them. “We can’t know for sure. It really depends on his old personality. Something I’m beginning to see we don’t know much about from the accounts of Pidge and the hunters.”

He sighed and held his head with frustration. “And how are we dealing with this issue?”

Strolry sighed and threw her head back in annoyance. “We sent Acriwjim to grab him so we can keep him under our watch but if my suspicions are true you can find them bustled in a meadow of catlyie protesting their love for each other.” Then her eyebrows creased and her mouth formed a small “o” as she realized that was not the right thing to say to him. Apparently, everyone but Lance himself had noticed his feelings.

She did not intend for them to do so but her words made him mad. He stood up and put a hand on his hip resisting the urge to pull out his sword and slice the stupid rugs in the room to shreds. “I have an idea.”

He told them his idea about the paladins and Lance going on patrol with him. They agreed eagerly and he frantically searched for Gekvide to agree so that he really wouldn’t walk in on Lance and Acrijwim making out or even just cuddling. He was angry enough just knowing they were a couple. Even if he had no right to be.

When Gekvide agreed he began looking wherever he could to find the two. He was about to scream at something when he heard two voices.

“I love you, Lance the human.” He started running.

“But how?” And he was there just in time.

To interrupt them he stuck his sword in the ground with about a quarter of the rage in his body. Which was quite a bit. The idiot alien glared at him and he just stared back with hate in his eyes.

He convinced Lance that his plan was good and Lance was ready to go back to the hunters hut with him. As they walked away Keith snuck a smug look at Acirjwim. The Ven scowled and tore the grass from the ground beneath him. Keith ignored the fact that this could blow up in his face as he walked silently with Lance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So its Christmas Eve for me so happy holidays y'all. I just want to thank you again for all your support. It was honestly something I didn't expect and I'm so grateful for it. It's been one of the things that keeps me creating which is the thing I love doing most. Also, sorry the end is a bit rushed, I didn't know how to continue it. <3


	23. I'm Not Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk. Lance remembers someone else. Pidge feels bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art or obliviouspoppy. Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

“So my first shift is with Hunk, then Pidge, then Keith, and I'm done for the day?” Lance asked with his arms crossed. He had decided to forget everything that had just happened and focus on the fact that he was no longer on bedrest. Even if he had a paladin babysitter. Hey, maybe forgetting stuff wasn’t too bad. Too soon.

Strolry looked to Hunk and Allura for approval before nodding. “Yes, we give all our hunters rest so your schedule is no different from mine or any other hunter. The only thing different is you have the paladins, or as Hunk has taken to calling your candles.”

“When the electricity goes out, you’ve still got light,” Hunk explained with a smile that glowed with kiddish excitement.

When he was pushing past the fog in his mind at his hardest, Lance could faintly see a memory of him and his mom setting up candles on a windowsill as rain pitter-pattered against the roof.

Speak of the devil. “Before you and Keith begin your shift come to the hunters hut. It’s predicted to rain. We have special cloaks to give so that your patrol won't’ be disturbed,” Strolry said before turning back to her jar.

“Lance if you were to somehow end up alone we can still send help. We have the drop of your quintessence. We suspect that it splits when you do.”

Keith’s brows furrowed. “How did you get a drop of his quintessence?”

When Lance didn’t bother answering Allura piped up. “It was just a simple spell. It’s hard to explain but I basically just used my energy to pull out some of his and help it be shaped into a physical being.”

“Like that makes any sense,” Keith mumbled under his breath. Lance refrained from agreeing and instead took a step towards Hunk.

“How ‘bout we start as soon as possible? I’m feeling restless.”

Hunk rolled his eyes and muttered, “Don’t I know that.” Lance cocked his head in confusion but Hunk waved it off and uncrossed his legs.

In no time, maybe with more silence than either of them would have liked, they were positioned at the border where they would stay for an hour or so. At first they just sat there without a word. Lance supposed that was fine. Until a few minutes later when he had had enough quiet and needed to talk. So he said the first thing that came to mind.

“What was the blue paladin like?”

Hunk startled. He hadn’t expected to talk. He thought it would stay awkward their entire shift. But Lance watched as his face quickly softened and he held out his hands like something invisible stood there.

“He was my best friend. He may have acted like an insufferable flirt who cared about nothing but himself and his looks but he was actually the opposite. He cared too much about others. Metaphorically and literally, he put himself in front of the gun so many times to save others. Too many times. And no matter how hurt he got, the scars he earned, he still was eager to do it again. You would look at him and say that guy is an idiot but it was just another part of his act. He knew exactly what he was doing. Even when he himself was lost and confused he could still give others a map home. He could give you a million reasons why you’re awesome and then stutter if you asked him what made him amazing. And–” Hunk stopped suddenly and Lance heard a sniffle.

When he looked over the boy’s face was turned away from him and his shoulders hiked up to his ears. His hands were clenched into fists and it was obvious he was crying. But he didn’t comment. For some reason he really wanted Hunk to keep going.

“I was one of those people who he gave a map to. One of the ones he complimented and helped even as he struggled to smile. And I ended up falling for his act. I was one of the few people who knew it wasn’t real, yet I let myself believe it was. I pushed him away. Even though he had been there for me no matter what. I still... I’m such a terrible friend. And now all I wish for is to see him again and apologize. To let him know that I never meant anything I did. That I love him and…” He trailed off and broke into a sob unable to keep it in any longer.

Lance stared at him blankly, not knowing what to do. But he did know what to do. Somehow he knew exactly what he was supposed to do. He wiped off the tears that had made their way onto his cheek and smiled. He forced Hunk to turn around and look at him. “Hunk,” he said, “You are an amazing friend. And I bet the blue paladin knows that.” Then he pulled his candle into a hug with all his might.

“I’m so sorry,” Hunk whispered.

Lance gasped and his whole body began to sting as if he was being zapped with lightning. It burned.

Then he was in Hunk’s arms again. But it was different. He was crying about his family and he was curled up in a ball that Hunk held like a baby. Then he was being suspended of the ground as Hunk laughed with him in an orange uniform. Then Hunk was crying into his arm and his face was pained but he still smiled. Then he was falling and someone caught him. Hunk, of course. His smile was filled with such relief that Lance couldn’t help but smile back. Then he was flying back into the present.

He was on the floor, Hunk standing above him, face marked with worry like a brand. “Lance! Are you okay?”

He groaned and sat up, rubbing his face. He held out a hand and Hunk took it, pulling him up. One thing repeated in his head over and over again as he pulled Hunk into another Hunk. He wasn’t the blue paladin. He wasn’t the blue paladin. ‘Cause as much as he wished to be that person Hunk cherished so much, he wasn’t. But he cherished Hunk as if he was. Because he may not be Hunk's best friend, but Hunk was his.

“Whenever we’re in any sort of pain, we give each other a hug,” he whispered.

Hunk stiffened, then laughed, then cried. “You remember!” he shouted happily.

“I wish I’d never forgotten.”

“I’m so sorry Lance, I–”

Lance stopped him and shook his head. “Save your sorrys for the blue paladin. He deserves them.” I don’t.

Hunk just stared at him before pulling him close again. “Whatever you say.”

[Pidge’s P.O.V.]

They were just sitting on a rock waiting for the two idiots to come. It was their turn to be Lance’s candle. If they were on Earth they would’ve been checking the time on their phone with exasperation like some teen in a movie. But nope. Their life was far from any they’ve ever seen in movies. They were on an alien planet with technology that far surpassed Earth’s yet didn’t have cell phones. That may have confused Pidge more than anything. Phones may not be the best but they were definitely helpful. They’d have to ask Tekvee if Venellmet had any communicative devices that could fit in the palm of a hand.

They were about ready to go do just that when they heard soft laughter. A mix of two voices that they haven’t heard in what seemed like years. A little bit of odd hope rose inside them. When they turned they felt like crying as they saw the two best friends stumbling towards them, drunk on happiness, arms wrapped around each other. Their heart nearly burst when Hunk smiled. He hasn’t smiled like that in a while. Lance’s smile was the same as usual on this planet but they didn’t let that get to them.

Lance slightly pushed Hunk away and Hunk ran and nearly ran Pidge over. “He remembered me, Pidge.”

They smiled into his shoulder. “It feels great, huh?”

Hunk nodded and they pulled apart. Lance approached almost cautiously. “It’s your turn to deal with me now, Pidgey.”

“Oh, goody,” they said sarcastically.

“You know you love me.”

“It’s one of my few faults.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.”

Pidge laughed and for a second, just a second it was like the old Lance was back. “Did you have a Blackout?” they asked after letting their laughter out.

Lance shook his head. “I’m sort of surprised. I thought they would be more frequent. I did have two in a row this morning so I was expecting it to be an every five minutes thing.” He looked just as surprised as they felt.

“Well, guess that means I’m probably gonna have to more careful. If you haven’t had one for a couple of hours then it’s sure to happen soon.”

“Mhmm,” Lance hummed, looking like he just wanted to move on.

“We should start walking to our patrol point. Bye Hunk!”

Both waved goodbye to Hunk as he walked away. Then the wrestling began. Pidge didn’t know how they began to tackle each other to the ground. They suspect it was because they were called a gremlin by a certain someone. But that wouldn't it be. Pidge was much more mature than that. Totally.

They were about to push Lance over again when the hand that was ruffling their hair froze. They looked up. Pidge could almost see the split happen in his eyes. Like some battle had just been lost inside him. For a second his blue eyes glowed before he blinked. Then his entire person changed before their eyes. His shoulders slumped. His smile grew into a small smirk and his eyebrows rose. When his eyes opened he was an entirely different Lance. The old Lance.

“Did you knock me out or something?” he asked in a high pitched tone.

Pidge pulled away and adjusted their lens-less glasses. “C’mon I’m not that rough.”

Lance pouted and Pidge knew for sure. This is what a Blackout looked like from the outside. But this was completely different than when Hunk had experienced it. Apparently, Lance had been freaking out.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“No reason.”

He looked around for a second and his forehead creased. “Umm, Pidgeon, where the heck are we? Did some Galra knock me out? I’m sort of drawing a blank here.”

Pidge didn’t know what to say. Were they supposed to explain to Lance what was going on? Were they supposed to lie or tell the truth? They had not been prepared for this. And that's when Lance began to panic.

“Pidge what happened? Are the others okay? Are the lions okay? Blue?” His words came out in a rushed sentence. Still, Pidge didn’t know what to say.

“Pidge, why aren’t you saying anything? Are you hurt? I would appreciate if you answered me.” He began to check their head and arms for possible injuries.

“Lance, I’m fine. Everything’s fine. We’re safe.”

He wasn’t convinced and pulled out his bayard. That was a very bad idea. Pidge reached out to grab it but it was too late. He stared at the bow in his hand and his eyes widened almost comically. Then his eyes shut and he dropped the bayard.

His shoulders straightened. His eyebrows lowered. His smirk disappeared completely and his face seemed to harden. He collapsed to his knees. He looked at them with such exhaustion in his eyes that they wanted to cry.

They felt like they had failed him. Now and then. Because now that they could see the difference between the two Lances they saw what they hadn’t before. And somehow that thing they didn’t see, was the same for both of him. That he was hiding so much. And that he just wanted to protect them. And Pidge wished they could pull the old Lance out from inside the current Lance and hug him. But it was far too late for that. Because they could see now that that Lance was gone. Forever.

“Did I have a Blackout?” he asked with a forced smile. The episode had drained him.

And Pidge couldn’t take it anymore. They curled into a ball, gripping the grass beneath them, and cried.

Lance covered them with his body and embraced it gently. He was protecting them. Again. But they were supposed to be his candle. Not the other way around. Pidge cried harder and clung to Lance’s hunter cloak. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING LAST MONDAY! It got busy and I forgot and didn't have a chapter ready. At the moment I'm also working on the storyline of a BNHA fic (which is hard cuz I'm not used to writing the character personalities) since I hopped on the bandwagon (no regrets) which should come out right when this is finished. Whenever that is. Hope you enjoyed the chapter<3


	24. Strangers In the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Keith's shift. He spills some important info. It starts to rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art or obliviouspoppy. Enjoy<3

[Keith’s P.O.V]

Keith watched as Pidge and Lance walked into the hunters hut. He was leaning against a nearby tree. They didn’t notice him in the sun’s dying light. Which gave him the ability to observe them. Pidge was barely walking, Lance nearly carrying them to the hut. But they weren’t hurt. Lance would’ve been a lot more urgent. Though their eyes were puffy and nose red. They had definitely been crying. And Lance. He looked so tired. Not in a physical sense. But if his emotions were to show on his body he’d have noticeable eye bags. It was the exact opposite of how Keith had always viewed him. Which was annoyingly energetic. As if he never had a care in the world and all the time to rest.

Digesting this new information Keith waited until they were inside to follow suit. He came in just in time to hear what had happened.

“We were right,” Strolry was saying, “The quintessence split. So I’m guessing you had a Blackout.”

Both Lance and Pidge nodded. Pidge looked at the ground and they frowned as they remembered it.

“The quintessence also grew brighter for a minute,” Allura added, “Did something else happen, Lance.”

“My memories of Hunk came back.”

Allura’s mouth formed a small o. Then she smiled and clapped her hands together, “That’s wonderful!”

Keith looked away refusing the jealousy in his gut. Hunk was Lance’s best friend. It’s only his natural right to be remembered. Lance wouldn’t be remembering much if he remembered him anyway.

“Well I don’t want to waste any time,” Lance chirped, his voice betraying everything Keith had seen hidden on his face earlier.

“Right!” Strolry turned to Allura who was obviously becoming her best friend. “Can you get the rain cloaks.” Allura reached beside the little desk they sat at and pulled out two cloaks that just had to be color-coded.

“Let me guess,” Lance said, “Keith gets the red one.”

Allura threw the blue cloak at Lance in a yes.

“What a surprise,” Keith mumbled catching the one that was thrown at him. The material was different from the one that Lance’s cloak was made of. He knew from when he had to carry a passed out Lance to the healing hut. This material was thick and soft on the inside just like the hunters’ but the outside material was so smooth you could mistake it for softness. It fit around his armor easily.

“Good luck!” Allura and Strolry cheered in unison, their bubbly personalities seeming one and the same.

As they walked out Keith could hear their conversation.

“Pidge you should stay, Strolry’s mate is coming over and I’ve heard your close.”

“Please refrain from stealing my mate, human.”

“If anything I’ll become your child.”

“My plead remains the same.”

He smiled. Then they were out of earshot and all Keith could hear now was the wind whistling past tree branches. If he didn’t know better he would think they were the only people out. But there were tens of other hunters surrounding the very same tribe to protect its people from harm.

He looked over at the person he was supposed to be watching over. Lance was looking at the starry sky, his mind far in the galaxy. Venellmet’s bright moons illuminated his face. There was a scar on Lance’s head that he hadn’t noticed before. The boy’s hair did a good job of curling over it, hiding it. Keith wanted to touch one of those curls. He bets they were as soft as the inside of his cloak

He turned away and sighed sitting on the grass pulling the cloak over his knees.

“Days are long here, aren’t they? 50 hours. Still, I feel like I lost half the day in an hour.”

“How would you know if it’s long or not?” Keith blurted, not considering how it would affect Lance. He was ready to take it back when Lance chuckled.

“Guess I wouldn’t. But any day would feel long to me.”

“What do you mean?” he asked turning to look at Lance so that he could see the expressions that crossed his freckled face.

Lance waved his hand dismissively. “Nothing.”

With that, it seemed like the conversation would end. But Keith didn’t want it to end. He wanted to hear Lance’s voice until the day he went mad. He spent too much time ignoring that voice.

“What’s it feel like losing your memory?” he wondered fully laying down on the ground.

“It feels like everything is new and old at the same time. And I can never tell which. I don’t know whether to trust if my feelings are real or not. And I don’t know who I can miss. Who I can love? I don’t know who I am. I don’t know how I know things. It’s like I just woke up a teenager in some strange ship on the moon and I’m supposed to just move on. And as I regain more memories, I get even more confused. I’m sorry you probably don’t want to hear about all that now. I don’t want to sound like some physical form of a pity-party.”

“You don’t,” Keith assured immediately, “Trust me, I know how it feels to be lost. Maybe I wasn’t as lost as you are but I’ve learned from the people I love that it’s okay to feel bad about life, as long as I don’t let it hold me down.”

“What happened with you?”

“Usually I don’t tell people much but...My dad died when I was pretty young. Jumped in a fire to save some people. My mom had already left, as I learned much later to rejoin the Blades of Marmora. I closed myself off from everyone, believing that whoever I loved, would leave in some way. Then Shiro took me in and gave me motivation in life. Then he went missing and I went back to believing I was cursed to live life without anyone else. Then I came across the blue lion and everything changed. I met people who I love. And this time I’m not closing myself off because this time I’ll fight for them to stay. But my cycle kind of broke when the blue paladin went missing. I grew closer to the people I loved.”

Lance peered down at him, examining his face. “Do you miss the blue paladin?” he asked, blue eyes alight with curiosity.

Keith’s soft smile grew sad. “I miss a lot of things. He’s one of the things I miss more than anything else in the universe. I just wish I could make everything up to him.”

Lance’s face contorted as if he was in pain and he drew away from Keith’s view. “Everyone seems to be saying that. That they failed him. What happened between you guys?”

“We didn't acknowledge the fact that he hurt just like everyone else. We didn’t comfort him the way he comforted us.”

Lance mumbled something like he was wondering if he should really say it.

“What?”

“Did he deserve to be comforted?”

Keith sat up. The question was odd. It didn’t sound like he was talking about the blue paladin.

“Of course he did. Everyone deserves to be comforted.”

“True. Even emos like you,” Lance joked flicking his own ear.

“How would you know if I’m emo, I just bared my soul to you!”

“I just bared my soul to you, in all of its dark and tragic glory!” Lance mocked.

“Screw you.”

“Excuse me, I have a boyfriend.”

Even if it hurt, Keith could see the person he fell in love with. If just a bit. A much more mature and quiet version of that person. The conversation was familiar and he loved it.

“Like I would hit on you.” He totally would if he had the confidence.

When Lance went silent he began to worry. But before he could say anything, Lance was on top of him. His blue eyes seemed to glow in the dark and his smirk was dangerous. Both to Keith’s heart and whatever enemy saw it. Keith could hear his breathing and it wasn’t as labored as his. He found that unfair. But Lance was on top of him. His face dangerously close to his. He could feel his brain begin to short-circuit and he begged to know what he ever did to deserve this.

“Sure you wouldn’t Keithy-boy,” he whispered before rolling off and bursting into hysterical laughter. “You should’ve seen your face!”

Keith was too flustered to defend himself. His face was probably red as hell and he thanked the shadows for making it less obvious.

“What if I was into girls?” he muttered.

“Well then sorry. But your face says otherwise.”

“I hate you.”

He shouldn’t have expected Lance to say that he didn't like he would in the castle. But instead, Lance went dead silent. He looked over to see Lance staring at him. He didn’t seem to be there, too lost in his head but his eyes wouldn’t leave Keith’s face.

Keith wondered if this was a symptom of a Blackout and instantly went on high alert. “Lance,” he said trying to grab the boy’s attention.

Lance physically shook his head. “Yeah?”

“I just lost you for a second.”

Lance scratched the back of his neck and the tips of his ears turned pink. “Sorry, I kinda zone out a lot.”

“Was that before or after Haggar’s spell?”

Lance frowned, “Huh, guess I never really thought about that. I think it was after, actually.”

Keith was learning a lot about Lance during this patrol. And if there was any question about him loving this Lance than it had been turned to dust. Because it seemed no matter what, Lance was Lance. With the very same core that he had hidden so well before.

“What happens during your Blackouts? I wanna know just in case you have one.”

“For me, it’s just as the name suggests, I black out. I disappear for a little bit as my memories resurface.”

“That’s not very helpful.”

Lance didn’t reply and let it stay silent for a few moments. It was relaxing. The air was cool but Keith could feel the warmth coming off Lance. Night birds, or whatever animal was out there, were singing quietly along with the wind. Keith began to forget they were on patrol at all.

“Keith, how did I know you guy before. I’m slowly gaining memories from before but I know nothing of how this all happened. How did I meet you guys? Who was I to you guys? Who was I to you? It’s hard to believe I ever knew any of you at all.” Lance was examining the cuts on his hands. Keith refrained from covering them up and holding Lance’s hand in his.

“Well, I don’t really know what to tell you. I met you in the Garrison. Same for the rest of the paladins. And I’ll save how you met Allura and Coran for when you regain memories of them. And you were our friend, our family. In the end, it may have not seemed like it, but you were so important to us. And I... We were complicated. But if I had to say anything, when you were still close to us, you were my best friend.”

Lance frowned and his hand went to his chest where it curled into a fist. There was a war waging on inside him, but Keith didn’t know why. “Keith, am I the blue paladin?”

Keith chewed on his lip trying to find the best answer. “Lance, you are whoever you want to be. But once, not too long ago, you piloted the blue lion of Voltron.”

Keith had mentioned that it was silent whenever their conversation paused but this was different. This was like a weight being thrown on his chest. Because he had no idea what Lance was feeling.

It began to rain and he welcomed the sound of water hitting wood. He tied up his hair and pulled the cloak’s hood over his head. He sensed Lance stand up beside him and he did the same.

Lance walked in front of him, hood sitting on his back stubbornly. Water ran down Lance’s face. Keith was pretty sure some of those drops weren’t from the rain. He didn’t expect Lance to smile so brightly as both rain and teardrops ran down his cheeks.

“Join me for a moment, Keith? Can we just...forget everything?”

Keith frowned. Lance’s smile was wobbling dangerously and his shoulders seemed to be having a hard time staying still. What bothered Lance so much about being the blue paladin? But he couldn’t bear seeing Lance slowly crumble beneath the rain. So he held out a hand and said, “Hi, I’m Keith Kogane. Who’re you?”

Lance’s smile finally stilled into something solid and he took his hand. “The name’s Lance.”

He pulled Keith from the border and into the rain. His hood fell off his head but he didn’t care. And they danced. In the rain. Like nothing in the world bothered them. Because there was nothing to bother them. They had forgotten everything.

Lance pulled him close but Keith didn’t care. There was no reason to care. They were strangers playing in the rain. Even when Lance stiffened and his posture changed Keith held him. Even when Lance shut his eyes for a moment too long. Even when Lance opened his eyes in confusion and looked up into the sky. Even when he had changed before Keith’s eyes.

“Hey, Keith,” Lance murmured not pulling away.

“Hey, Lance.”

“What’s going on?”

“We’re dancing in the rain.”

“Oh. The last thing I remember is Pidge being weird.”

“Nope, you don't remember anything.”

Then he was gone. And the person Keith loved was back. “Did I Blackout?”

Keith opened his eyes and smiled softly, “Lance, I don’t know what that is.”

Lance looked at him and his tiredness faded. He laughed and laughed. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. “Me, neither.”

Then he laid his head on Keith's shoulder. Then they were two strangers standing in the rain. Because the rain was all they could remember. The happiness and love he felt were all he wanted to remember. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna be honest, writing this nearly made me cry. Don't have much to say. It's late and I almost forgot to post this. Welp. Hope you liked it <3


	25. Not Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions run high as the hunters and paladins search for Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art or obliviouspoppy. Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

As much as he wanted to stay in the rain forever, even he knew that that could never happen. So he leaned in and whispered in Keith’s ear, “Forget me for a sun-up. Let me disappear. Don’t worry. Tell the others I’m fine. They have the quintessence. I’ll miss you Keith Kogane.”

Keith looked up at him with concern but as soon as he blinked Lance was gone. He had quietly run from the boy. The rain made it easy to escape silently. The grass was soft and the leaves didn’t crunch. And the rain made a musical noise loud enough to cover the sound of his breathing and any misstep he made.

He told Keith what he did for a reason. That wasn't a part of the stranger game they were playing. No. Lance had decided he needed a break from...well, everything. He was several hundred feet away from the border of Blueren when he finally stopped running. To hide in case there were any Galra out here he climbed halfway up the thickest tree he could find in the area. Which was a long way up. But he decided that he was still too close to the ground. So he climbed until he could see over the rest of the trees. Until he could even see Blueren.

He sat comfortably on a sturdy branch and let his head drop and hit the trunk behind him. Finally, he let his thoughts come out of the little cloud he had created to keep them hidden. He was the blue paladin. He had been the blue paladin. The blue paladin that everyone talked so highly of. The one everyone loved so dearly.

He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t sad. Not angry. Not scared. He was confused. What exactly did being the blue paladin mean? He wasn’t any more special than anyone else. He couldn’t imagine himself saving planets. He couldn’t imagine being that hero that everyone said he was.

But maybe he had been. Maybe every bad thing Lance had felt and assumed was from his past really wasn’t? Or maybe he had just failed as usual with a lot more damage than usual. Him losing his memory could even be something normal for all he knew.

The biggest question though was how. How could he have ever been someone worthy of Pidge’s stubborn affection? Of Hunk’s hugs. Of Keith’s comfort. Either way, he must have done something wrong. The paladins mentioned how they hadn’t paid attention to him. That was the only thing that made sense. Because there was no reason for them to.

No matter how much he thought, how much he questioned, how much he wondered, he was just as confused as before. He didn’t know how to feel about it. And that’s what made the frenzied desperation rise inside him. He never seemed to know anything about his feelings. And it hurt so badly in a way that was unexplainable. It felt like there was a lump continuously growing in his throat. And every time he tried to force it out his mouth, nothing came out but his own cries.

He just wanted that lump to go away. He just wanted to know what he was feeling. Why couldn’t he just know something for once? Was it so hard to give him knowledge? He should at least be able to know what his own emotions were.

So he sat on the tree branch and laughed, not one of amusement or happiness, but a crazed laugh that did nothing to relieve his stress. Then he cried. And he punched the tree. Then he took his bayard and tore off a strip of bark from the tree. He wrote a small message on it telling the hunters and crew of Voltron that he was okay. He attached it to an arrow and aimed for the tribe. Blankly, he watched the arrow fly until it was just a dot of light. Tearing off another strip of bark, he wrote a message to his old self, for when he had a Blackout.

Afterward he felt tired enough to just slip off the branch. He had another 50 hours until he returned to Blueren to get his head together. He couldn't waste them.

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

Keith didn’t know what else to say but that his night went to crap real quick. All because he had told Lance the truth. Had it been the right thing to do? What was Lance thinking? He was such an idiot.

The idiot had run off with the message to forget him for a sun-up! Ha. Like he could ever do that. The insufferable teen was always taking up a part of his mind.

The moment he stepped foot into the hunters hut, the aliens and Pidge had automatically sensed something was wrong. Strolry shot up from her place on Tekvee’s lap. Tekvee’s relaxed posture tensed. Allura and Pidge set down a Venellmetan version of cards.

“Where’s Lance?” asked Pidge, the first to act when it came to her big brother figure.

Keith had prepared what he would say as he ran through the ran but he hadn’t prepared to be faced with those terrified eyes. “I...I don’t know.”

And his crap night turned to chaos after that. The next thing he knew all hunters, paladins, and Alteans were gathered in a training hut with walls covered in weapons of all types. If he wasn’t in the situation he was in he would’ve enjoyed examining all the different types of blades they had.

Somehow Linthu had been able to calm the hunters and Shiro had been able to calm the paladins. Allura was too busy watching over Lance’s quintessence to help Shiro give advice. So Linthu helped him instead.

“First things first,” Linthu began, “Red paladin Keith. Can you tell us exactly what happened?”

Suddenly all eyes were on him. He could feel the accusation in Acrijwim’s. He felt incredibly nervous. He had made a mistake and now he was going to have to fess up to everyone he respected and the people he cared about.

“We were talking and he asked if he was the blue paladin and…” He trailed off dropping his gaze to his hands.

“Keith, what did you say?” Hunk asked kindly.

“I told him the truth. Then he started acting all weird. Then...then he asked me to dance with him in the rain and forget about everything. Then he told me not to worry and let him disappear for a day.” His voice grew quieter as he spoke and he could feel the blood rush to his face.

“The stars he did!” Acrijwim shouted. He was obviously angry and it seemed as if Moadig was physically holding him back. But everyone but him could see that Keith wasn’t lying. And they could tell it hurt Keith to tell them that because his feelings were somehow completely obvious.

“Well since you don’t have any idea where he is, we’re going to have to search. How long has it been since he left?”

“Maybe half an hour or so,” Keith replied.

Shiro cursed under his breath.

“That gives him a lot of distance,” Moadig whispered but loud enough for everybody to hear, “And he’s really fast.”

“So my possible-mate could be miles away by now! And it’s all because of this creich!” Acrijwim growled point at him.

Everyone gave him a sharp look. Pidge was ready to defend their friend.

“Your possible-mate? Lance hasn’t been gone for that long. He barely knows you! You barely know him! And you have no right to call Keith names. He’s trying his best to help Lance. Once they used to be attached at the hips,” they glared at the purple Ven with a protective fury.

“Well, it seems I know him more than you ever did!”

The whole room went silent. That was definitely not the wrong thing to see. Pidge’s eyes went wide and glassy. They slumped into Hunk’s side and the paladins were ready to lash out at him for hurting their family. But they didn’t need to.

Tekvee stood from her place beside her mate and walked behind Acrijwim. She looked down at him with a scowl and pinched his ear. She pulled it closer to her face and in a deadly voice, she said to him, “You are a hunter. You never insult someone. Especially not one of our friends. You hear me? That is unacceptable. You are not Lance’s mate quite yet. You have no right to him in any way. Just because you're jealous you cannot lash out. I am disappointed, Acri. You haven’t acted this way since you were an insecure kit. Now you are a grown Ven. Behave like one.”

Calmly, she let go of his ear and sat beside her mate, pulling her closer, leaving him both ashamed and terrified. Pidge gave her a thankful look.

Shiro looked about ready to move on to search parties when there was a noise above them that would’ve taken more force to make than a raindrop. Eager to rid of the tense mood, everyone ran outside.

“I’m the best at climbing, I’ll go check what’s up there,” Strolry volunteered. Giving Tekvee a small peck on the cheek she scaled the wall like it was a ladder. She stood and looked down at the roof. She froze and slowly bent down.

With grace, she jumped from the roof and held out a familiar blue arrow and piece of bark.

“That’s…” Pidge breathed.

“Lance’s,” Hunk finished backing away like the arrow was some villain.

“There’s writing on it,” Tekvee observed, “Can you read it, Strolee?”

The tribe leader in training nodded and turned the bark to the hut’s light. “I know you’re all worried about me. Don’t. I just needed a bit of break. I’m fine and I’ll be back tomorrow,” read Strolry.

“That idiot,” Keith whispered under his breath after a minute. The others murmured in agreement.

“We’re still searching, right?” Pidge asked, clearly not wanting to give up.

“Of course,” Shiro replied, “But now we have some clues.”

The blue arrow exploded into glowing particles before disappearing entirely, startling the tense group.

“Minus one,” Pidge sighed in annoyance.

“I think we should take at least a couple hours of rest before we start looking,” suggested Hunk meekly.

“Agreed. We need some energy and time to calm down before we try to find Lance. Otherwise, things like what happened before could escalate. We don’t need that chaos,” Moadig said pointedly.

Strolry sighed. “As much as I wish to continue, Lance said he was fine. And I trust him enough to let us take some time to recollect. I don’t think Lance would be happy that we tore ourselves apart just to find him when he asked us not to worry.”

“Yeah, he’d beat himself up for sure,” Acrijwim agreed defeatedly still avoiding eye contact with Keith.

Hunk was overjoyed that his suggestion was taken seriously and made it his job to get the paladins to bed. Keith probably wouldn’t have fallen asleep if Hunk hadn’t told him that Lance would be ashamed of eye bags. That made Keith laugh quietly before slowly losing himself in the smell of Lance’s sweater.

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

Maybe doing this was a mistake. He felt like he was going insane. He was thinking too much. He doesn’t know how many times he’s had a Blackout. The other him must be freaking out. He wanted Keith. No. He liked someone else with purple eyes. He didn’t get the time to panic when his eyes shut and the world temporarily disappeared.

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

Allura had been up all night monitoring Lance’s quintessence in case something were to happen. While they went out searching for Lance she would rest. She handed them the jar and told them it would lead the way to Lance. It would want to return to its source.

They were about to leave when Pidge stopped, staring at the jar in their hands. They turned to Allura who was heading off to sleep. “Allura?”

The princess stopped and turned with a questioning look on her face.

“Could this help us bring his memories back? Or undo the spell on him somehow?” They asked hopefully.

Allura hesitated and Keith knew why. She didn’t want to make Pidge any sadder than they already were. “No, it can only tell us what’s going on. I tried all night.”

Pidge’s face fell and the paladins were ready to comfort them when they looked up again with a fire in their eyes. “Well, then it’s up to us to figure out those things.” They turned around and pushed past them into the forest.

Keith smiled softly and followed them into the forest. But they weren’t even five steps past the border when they suddenly stopped.

“Pidge, what happened?”

“It stopped.”

But that can’t be possible unless…

“Hey, guys!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to god I am one of the most forgetful people on Earth. I thought I had posted the latest chapter then I opened up the doc today and I was like, well crap. Sorry, it's a day late. <3


	26. Invisibilty Cloak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is acting weird. Keith and Hunk notice. Pidge feels bad. They make a plan. Keith has a talk with Shiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

One day Keith is going to kill Lance. How else was he going to deal with the worry? But right now something wasn’t right. That blinding smile Lance' face was off.

“Lance!” Pidge barely shoved the jar in Hunk’s hands before jumping on Lance, wrapping their arms around his neck.

“Hey, Pidgey,” he murmured fondly, his eyes losing focus. He barely flinched when she began to punch his arm. He didn’t really react at all. Which worried Keith. He always had some sort of reaction.

“Man, you really need to stop going missing,” Hunk scoffed playfully.

Something flashed over Lance’s eyes before he grinned cheerily. “I have no idea what you mean. I’ve been here the whole time.”

Hunk pouted as he gave in and hugged him. Usually, Lance would’ve shut his eyes and sank into the hug. But this time his eyes stayed wide open, letting Keith see the turmoil inside them.

He was so worried he didn’t even make a face when Acrijwim shoved past everyone and kissed Lance on the head. He was too busy observing Lance’s expression. Which helped him catch the moment when Lance tensed and tried for a quick second to pull away. He stopped trying and gave into the embrace.

Everyone got their hug and welcoming smile. Keith didn't expect his own welcome. He never did. But when Lance didn’t even bother to look at him, it hurt. Because Lance always made him know he was seen.

He hung his head. It was understandable. He was the deliverer of news that wasn’t taken well. It’s no one else’s fault but his.

Hunk noticed and silently walked closer to his side. He took comfort in the safe warmth that radiated off the teen.

He could’ve sworn Lance looked back at him, just once, as they left the forest. But it had to be all in his head.

[Hunk’s P.O.V.]

Hunk noticed Lance’s weird behavior immediately. He thinks Keith noticed too. But he didn’t notice because Lance acted particularly different. No, he’s been Lance’s best friend for years. Or so he thought. Still, he was able to recognize when Lance was hiding something. More importantly, when he was hiding his emotions. Negative ones that he once described as spiders crawling all over his body when nothing's really there.

He didn’t want to ruin Pidge’s, Shiro’s, or anybody’s good mood so he decided he was going to talk to Keith about it when they were alone. So when they just happened to be left in the hut he took the perfect opportunity.

“Keith,” he called out, grabbing the sulking boy’s attention.

He turned his head and stared at Hunk, waiting for whatever he was going to say.

“Something’s wrong with Lance.”

Keith stared for a little bit longer before sighing, slumping in his bed, and running a hand through his hair. “Thank Voltron, I thought I was the only one who noticed. And that I was making it up because he…”

“Completely avoided acknowledging your existence,” Hunk finished.

“Yeah, that,” Keith grumbled letting his head fall to the pillow.

“That only proves my point. He’d never do that to someone he cares about.”

“What if that person told him something that broke his world?” he said pulling Lance’s jacket over his face.

“Then he’d try to hide how he’s hurting,” Hunk answered, “Which is exactly what he’s doing.”

“How are we gonna make him stop hiding?”

“Honestly, unless you’re six years old with big puppy eyes, I don’t know.”

Keith groaned, both dramatically and seriously. “Well none of us are six year olds. The only person I can think close enough of is...”

They sprang up in unison, an idea already forming in their heads. “Pidge!”

[Pidge’s P.O.V.]

Pidge had been too blinded with relief to notice that something was up with their friend. That is until Hunk and Keith had approached them the moment they disattached her arm from Lance’s.

They didn’t take it too well. After all, that happened and what Acrijwim said Pidge was particularly sensitive to the fact that they yet again failed to notice that Lance was hurting. They had vowed to look out for him. To make sure what happened the first time never happened again. And they had failed.

Keith and Hunk crawled closer to them, pulling them in their arms.

“It’s okay, Pidge,” Hunk assured, “I’ve known him years longer than you.”

“And I only noticed because he didn’t say anything to me.”

“But I should’ve noticed that,” they denied, “It happened right in front of my face.”

“You were excited to see him alive. Alive. You were worried. You probably would’ve noticed as soon as the relief wore off.”

Pidge listened but decided not to show how much they didn’t believe their friends. Instead, they were going to take the anger from their failure and use it to help Lance.

“You’re right,” they lied, “I’m assuming you came here for help.”

The boys nodded, grateful for Pidge’s positive change in mood.

“So, what can I do?”

“Encourage him to stop hiding by doing the exact opposite.” Hunk’s eyes bore into theirs with determination.

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

He doesn’t know when Pidge’s plan would take place. It could happen in days, knowing how stubborn Lance could be. So in the time being, he needed some advice.

Shiro looked up at him with slight surprise as he entered the hut. Hunk was exploring the village further, getting to know the aliens that surrounded them. Allura was doing magical experiments with Strolry and Tekvee. Coran was discussing training techniques with Gekvide in the training hut. And obviously, Pidge was trying to pull Lance from his emotional invisibility cloak. Keith took this opportunity to finally get some information on what he was feeling.

“Hey, buddy,” Shiro greeted not being able to help the brotherly tone that leaked into his voice.

“Hey,” Keith replied sitting on his bed, hoping the older man would get the gist without him having to say anything. Thankfully he did and sat on his own bed, facing Keith.

“Is there something on your mind?” he asked, looking a tad worried.

“A lot actually,” Keith sighed.

Shiro immediately leaned forward showing he was listening.

“Shiro, how did you know you loved Adam?” he asked warily not making eye contact.

The room went dead silent. Shiro wrinkled his face as if he were holding something in. Maybe tears. It’s obvious he hadn’t thought of his fiance in a long while. He was possibly even trying to forget about the man he had left behind. Keith waited patiently as he watched Shiro slowly exhale, keeping himself in control.

“It’s hard to remember the exact feeling when I knew. I probably didn’t even know then. He was my roommate. I saw him every day. But then there was that one day, when he came in with pure joy on his face. I don’t remember what happened. But I remember his laugh. It was like music to my ears. I might’ve loved him for a lot longer but that was when I realized I loved him.”

Keith thought back to all those times he had heard Lance laugh. None of them had been particularly amazing. Except that one right before everything went downhill. But he had already known about his feelings. He remembered when. It was an odd discovery. Lance had gone missing and he was sitting next to his best friend as a fake sun shined down on them. When he was surrounded in blankets that Lance had laid out for comfort. When he had been faintly reminded of him. That was when he knew that the way he was feeling. It hadn’t been a cheerful moment like Shiro’s. It had been full of sadness and had left a sick taste of loneliness in his mouth that reminded him of how Lance looked alone in his bed.

He hadn’t realized that he was crying until Shiro was next to him, laying a comforting hand on his back.

“Can you realize that you love someone in a bad way?” he choked out.

Shiro frowned sympathetically. “Emotions are fickle things. You can’t decide when they’ll appear. You can’t predict it. Right, when you think you’ve got a pattern down you’re abruptly thrown off track. If it takes something bad to make you recognize a feeling it’d be no different than something good.”

He got that right. Keith had thought he had a routine before. Loneliness. Anger. Sadness. Hope. A hope that someday he’d find someone who wouldn’t abandon him. Someone new who made him feel safe. The next thing he knew there was a cocky smile shoved in his face. Throwing him off track. Always throwing him off track. Like Shiro had said about Adam, he might’ve loved Lance longer than he realized.

Then he remembered his own smiles. The flutter in his chest as Lance murmured to him reassuringly. The warmth throughout his body as he teased the tied up boy. Just the giddiness he felt when Lance treated him normally after it was disclosed that he wasn't completely human.

Yeah, he’s liked Lance for a much longer time than he realized. And it had taken him going MIA for him to realize.

Keith wiped his tears away and relaxed his body. He was going to help Lance even if it meant pointing him towards his arrogant boyfriend. Maybe one day he’ll find another who can make him feel this way.

“Thanks, Shiro.”

The discussion hadn’t left Keith feeling any better. He might even feel worse now. At least now it was much more clear what was going on inside his head. He loved Lance. There was no doubt about that now. Since this whole mission was to find their blue paladin Keith was going to do exactly that. Even if his methods were different than the other paladins’. Or if they were the exact same. All that mattered now was saving his team.

Shiro smiled, hearing the resolve in Keith’s voice. He ruffled his hair with a welcome and stood up. “I’m gonna go practice with Linthu. Apparently, he’s great competition.”

He was almost out the door when he stopped and turned, looking Keith directly in the eye as if he were staring directly into his soul. “Good luck with Lance!” Then he was gone, leaving Keith confused.

He was sure he never said Lance’s name. Was his major crush that obvious? Whatever. It didn’t matter. Now all he had to do was busy himself as Pidge executed their plan. News would come soon. His emotions may have been uncovered but Lance’s were still as invisible as ever. And that would have to change if Voltron ever wanted to succeed.

_I’ll bring him back, Blue. For you and me. I promise._

[Pidge’s P.O.V.]

They took a quick break to eat before setting on their path to find Lance. They wanted this to get done quickly. The sooner Lance was fine, the sooner they all felt better. The sooner Pidge would feel better.

Keith had described Lance as making his emotions “invisible.” They weren’t suppressed or controlled to the extent where they were nearly nonexistent. They were there, right under everyone’s noses. Just no one could see them. He covered them up with bravado and jokes. It was Pidge’s job to rip that cover off. And all they needed to do was rip their own cover off.

Pidge will admit, the fact that they have to bare their soul to Lance was hard to deal with. They weren’t like Lance and hid everything so no one would worry. They busied themself and pretended they didn’t exist. This little mission in itself was just a distraction from her failure. Which was contradictory considering their distraction involved opening up about why they needed the distraction. But it was for Lance. Plus, they were bound to break and spill everything someday. This outcome was a tons time better than cracking. It was of their own accord. It was their plan.

And as they spotted Lance sitting atop a hill, alone, they were ready to begin step one of getting Lance to open up. Talking as if nothing were wrong.

“Hey, Lance!”

He jerked up and waved them. They slowly peeled off his mask in their head. It was hard to keep from reacting from what they saw. Eyebags, glazed eyes, and a false smile filled with sadness.

“Hey, Pidgey.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might either skip a week or adapt to a whole other posting schedule entirely. When I first started this fic I never expected it to turn out like this. Now I'm here with 140 pages of text and so much good feedback. But now I have other things I want to focus on. Other fics, my own stories, and my art. I probably won't end up changing my schedule but this is just a forewarning in case I forget to post. <3


	27. Your Mother's Skirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PIdge goes on with their plan. They don't really know whether they've succeeded or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Pidge’s P.O.V.]

They made sure to put his mask back on before cheerily sitting beside him, donning their own.

“What are you doing out here all alone?” Pidge asked carefully, “Shouldn’t you be snuggling with Acrijwim or something?”

They discovered that Acrijwim was an unwelcome topic to Lance as they watched him flinch at the name. What was up with that? Did he hurt him? If the purple furry so much as called Lance an idiot the hunters were going to have to bid farewells to their precious friend. They’re sure Tekvee would give them permission to murder him. If not then that was too bad.

Of course, Lance recovered quickly, forcing a lie out of his mouth. “He’s busy being all hunter-y. Pretty sure he’s raising alert after my disappearance. Wouldn’t want me to go missing again, right?” Lance chuckled as if it didn’t bother him.

Pidge hid their frown. Now that they really knew what was under that grin, everything Lance did seemed incredibly forced. Had it always been like this when he was hiding? It was so obvious! How had they never noticed before? Oh, right. They were a terrible friend and teammate.

Somehow, Lance still caught the hint of sadness. Though he didn’t let Pidge know for a second, staring out into the distance with furrowed eyebrows. “You okay?” he finally asked, startling the teen from their own zoning out.

“Of course,” Pidge insisted, “I’m perfectly fine. Why?”

“You seem off.”

They refrained from snorting. They were the ones who seemed off. Instead of saying so they just said, “How so?”

“I don’t know to be honest. But you’ve been acting less...sarcastic?”

They gave him a look. “Really? Just because I haven’t been that snarky lately you think something’s wrong with me?”

Lance laughed softly, “No, you just haven’t been you lately. Something’s bothering you. I can feel it.”

Pidge didn’t reply. Yeah, it was part of the plan for them to bare their soul to him or something like that. But they hadn’t really prepared for that. They definitely didn’t prepare for Lance to jump right into the emotional talk.

“Do you miss your family?” Lance suddenly asked, voice soft. He was looking up at the sky, his eyes glassed over as he thought.

“More than anything,” they admitted, “I miss everyone, really. People I haven’t seen in ages. I haven’t really grasped how long we’ve been away from Earth. Considering how long it seems, I don't want to ever grasp it.”

“How many family members do you have?”

Pidge was ready to call him an idiot. How could he forget? They grew sadder, remembering how Lance didn’t even know who Matt was. They had been pretty good friends too, their personalities fitting each other’s perfectly.

“I have a mom, dad, and brother. I haven’t seen my mom this whole time. I saw my dad once, and I can contact my brother almost whenever. You’ve met him before.”

Lance looked at them curiously. “I have?”

“Yeah, his name is Matt. You’ve always reminded me of him. But both of you are also different in so many ways.” They smiled at Lance with real happiness. “It was like you were my older brother too.”

He smiled fondly at the thought, but his eyes were still sad. “Maybe if I meet him again, I’ll remember.”

A thought abruptly hit Pidge. “Do you have any memories of yourself?”

Lance’s voice was oddly distant and cold when he murmured, “None except the ones I’ve created here.”

Surprised, Pidge blinked. How? He was like the same exact person as before, but with a filter. How is he so similar to before if he didn’t know how he had normally acted? But Lance was always Lance. Even when he acted like an obnoxious goofball, he had a big heart. That must’ve been the only thing that he needed to know to be himself.

“I can tell something else is still bothering you. The uneasiness is coming off of you in waves.”

Pidge sighed, caught. “Yeah, there’s actually a couple things that have been messing with me ever since we’ve landed on Venellmet. Ever since…” They trailed off, unspoken words sticking to her tongue. Ever since we found you. They didn’t want to make Lance feel responsible for whatever they were feeling. The only one to blame was themself.

“And what are those things?”

Pidge hesitated. “I feel like I failed you as a friend. You were hurting before and I never noticed. I should’ve noticed. You were practically my older brother. But you just got so distant and annoying that I didn’t even bother trying to help you anymore. I shouldn’t stop trying to talk to my friend just because they irritate me a bit. And you weren’t even that bothersome. I was just frustrated with the world and I decided to ignore you and teasing you were the ways to make up for the universe’s mistakes. Which is ridiculous. If I had taken maybe just a minute more to pull you out of your protective shell, maybe we wouldn't be here. Maybe you’d be able to remember everything and not have to mourn over the loss of your past. Maybe we’d have already moved past the comforting phase to the point where you could just be yourself again. Where you hurt less. Just the one minute could’ve saved all of us the pain. Saved you the loss. And I can’t help but feel it’s all my fault we’re in this position.”

They waited for him to tell them they were right. Everything could have been prevented had they just taken the time to be a good friend. It was true and Lance had every right to say so. Of course, he didn’t.

“Pidge, I don’t know exactly what happened. I can only piece together bits and pieces. But it’s most definitely not your fault. If anything it’s the whole team’s fault. And that’s including me. Yeah, maybe you guys didn’t reach out. But I could’ve. It sounds like I pushed you away just as much as you pushed me away. It seems like there was a point when we just stopped trying to meet in the middle. We might never know what really caused the issue. But when I know my side of the story—if I remember my side of the story, I’ll tell you exactly why I wanted to keep at a distance.”

“How are you so reasonable?” Pidge pouted, “I’m supposed to be the genius.”

Lance laughed, ruffling their hair. “And you are. Reasonable is a word I’d never use to describe me.”

Pidge said what they had come to say. A little more than they originally intended to but that was beside the point. It was actually very easy to spill their guts to him. Too easy. If he had that opening effect on everyone then he could be a real menace. But now, it was his turn to spill.

“Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest,” they began, “What’s up with you?”

“Huh?’

“You’ve been acting weird ever since you wandered off? What happened during that time?”

Lance pursed his lips and he seemed upset. Not with them. Most likely he was angry at himself for being caught trying to cover up his feelings. “Nothing really, I just sat in a tree and thought.”

Pidge knew that there was a point when your thoughts grew out of control. Where they turned on you and fed off whatever was spurring them. It was dangerous, having so much time to yourself and doing nothing but think. Especially in Lance’s state, having just learned he was the blue paladin, probably after denying the possibility for weeks, ignoring the evidence. There was probably more he was hiding as well that he had too much time to ponder over. They remembered that odd flash in his eyes when they had mentioned his supposed boyfriend.

“You were gone for nearly an entire sun-up. Isn’t that too much thinking?”

“It might’ve been a tad too much,” Lance smiled but the smile held only his regret.

“What did you think about?”

He scratched his neck while looking down at the grass. “A lot. Relationships. The past. The present. My friends,” he listed, “Who I am.”

“You never answered my question,” Pidge pointed out making sure Lance didn’t get away with hiding.

“Well, like you, things have been bothering me as well.”

“Do you mind sharing those things with me?” Pidge asked carefully.

It was quiet for a long time after that. Pidge didn’t look away. They weren’t going to give up. They’d wait all day in that one spot until he said yes.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Lance exhaled shakily. “It’s only fair right?”

Pidge didn’t reply. They continued staring expectedly with encouragement in their caramel colored eyes.

“I may have sat in the same spot for hours, but I realized one thing. Only one thing for sure. I have no idea who I am. I’ve lost my identity, my personality, who I love, what I love. Everything that makes a person themselves, I've forgotten. Keith told me I was the blue paladin but that can’t be true. I’m nothing like the person you’ve described. And yeah, I’d love to be a defender of the universe but it doesn’t make any sense. I’m not capable of being a hero! I’m just this person with an empty head.”

“I also know that the people I care for are a big part of what makes me. They still do. You do. But how can I know that part of myself if I can’t even remember who I’ve cared about. If I can’t figure out who I care about. And I love people. People are amazing. But I don’t really know anyone. And they know a me that’s been gone since the day I woke up on the moon. Then there’s the people I’ve only recently met. They all have a history, stories to tell about themselves. They can list their family members, they can point out their mate, they can say who and what they love so confidently. Because they have the past to back up their conviction. I don’t. I just have these confusing feelings I can’t make up or down of. Before I thought I loved someone but now I’m pretty sure I love someone else. I can’t ever remember my favorite color for stars’ sake!”

His voice had grown louder, more frustrated by the sentence. It filled with frustration and sadness that had begun to leak out of his eyes. Slowly, with each word, he had peeled off his own mask. And the face left behind showed years of unknown insecurity and bags of tiredness.

Pidge’s plan had worked. But now that the outcome was being laid out in front of them. They weren’t so sure they were proud of that. The pain in Lance’s eyes made them want to take back every word they’ve said since they sat down. Lance had comforted them easily, in the span of a second. Now, as Lance sat shaking with silent sobs in front of them, they had no idea what to say. All they knew was they wanted to stop the water that dripped down on their face.

“Your favorite color was red,” they whispered, choked up with their own tears, “It might not be now, but it was. You had said that blue was great and all but red took the throne. You said blue reminded you of oceans and rain and Earth itself. It represented wisdom and soothed. You said that that just wasn’t you. You liked red because it reminded you of your mother’s favorite skirt. It reminded you of the barn your grandparents owned. Your favorite blanket that your nieces and nephews would hide under in a game of hide-n-seek. You said when you saw the color, you thought of warmth and fire. You spent forever trying to explain how you were perfect for the fire element. I see it now. You may not be instinctive and searing to the touch. You’re spontaneous and loud. Anyone within a yard of you is affected by the warmth you give out.”

Pidge was now hiccuping, their own shoulders shaking. “You said you were the blue paladin because blue is the hottest part of the fire,” they said, letting out a wet laugh.

Lance laughed too, even as he bawled his eyes out. “Red,” he whispered, like the word was new to him, “I know my favorite color.”

He looked at them with stars in his eyes.

“Perfect.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to post again yesterday. Things have been getting busier in my personal schedule and I've been getting the motivation to work on like ten different things at once while having pages of homework. Sometimes I just want to bang my head against the table. Soon I should be posting the chapter for the fic I've been working on on the side. <3


	28. Keep it Burning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge and Hunk realize something. Keith explores Blueren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Pidge’s P.O.V.]

“Now are you going to stop hiding from us?”

“What do you mean?” Lance asked, voice still a bit forced from leftover tears.

“Stop acting all happy when you’re really not. And what’s up with you avoiding Keith?”

He opened his mouth and closed it again, frowning. “I’ll try,” he promised, “And I’ll stop avoiding Keith. But I’m not ready to exactly tell you why I was in the first place. I’m still trying to come into terms with it myself.” He looked at them as if begging them not to question any further. Even though their curiosity had only grown, they didn’t ask anything else. But that didn’t keep them from theorizing in their head.

The first possible reason that they came up with as to why Lance would avoid Keith was Keith being the one to tell him he was the blue paladin. But that couldn’t be the only reason. Keith had said that after the cat was out of the bag Lance had asked him to dance. If he was mad at Keith or offended in some way why would he do that? There had to be something else. Maybe Keith hadn’t told them everything.

“Did you remember him?” Pidge asked.

Lance shook his head, laying his cheek into the palm of his hand. “Why?”

“Well, you guys had a weird relationship. At first, you had this weird not so one-sided rivalry. Then you became like the best of friends who teased each other constantly. When we saved Shiro and Keith nearly joined the Blade of Marmora you guys just broke apart. I wondered what happened for you to suddenly drift. And then you began to distance yourself and it never crossed my mind again. You could’ve hated each other for all I know. Maybe that old thing had resurfaced and you hated him for that old thing.”

“Hate him?” Lance looked at them with confusion and a sort of horror at the thought. “That can’t be it.” He seemed to deflate again as he said, “But it’s possible he hated me.”

“That’s what confuses me,” Pidge muttered. He glanced at them curiously. “Keith definitely doesn’t hate you. And I don’t think you hated him either”

Lance gave them a look that demanded them to explain why not.

“Well, when you went missing you sent him a private message. Keith never shared it with us. All he said was that it was a goodbye message. But afterward, he sort of went crazy. Every waking moment he spent trying to find you. Or sitting in your favorite room with Hunk. He even connected with Blue. When you ignored him this morning he was really hurt.” Pidge left out Keith’s giant crush on him and the way he acted when Lance had been in that weird magic sleep.

“I hurt him? I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t,” he insisted even though Pidge hadn’t accused him of doing it intentionally.

“I never thought so. You just both have an issue of never dealing with problems until they slap you in the face,” Pidge rolled their eyes, “Even then you’ll ignore the slap.”

Lance pouted and the familiar gesture relieved Pidge. “Just apologize to him,” Pidge smiled, “Talk to him. Nothing is ever good when team Klance is out of commission.”

His eyes went wide and he looked to the side, away from Pidge. They could see pink faintly touching the edges of his ears. “Okay, I will.”

Then Pidge grinned shoving him over, “Good.”

He glared at them and shoved right back. “Leave me alone now. I have huntery things to do.”

They laughed and kicked him as they stood up. Their exit was very unceremonious, Lance having tripped them. They rolled down the hill as Lance’s laughter boomed through the air. They flipped him off and ignored him as called them a bad child.

They had to ask around before finding Hunk in a local bakery, gushing over all the native treats and food. They let him ramble about how perfectly flaky the Vens’ Swirget bread was. It took him a bit to notice the tiny teen sitting on a stool by the door. He gave the Ven baker one last compliment before walking over, examining some delicacy in his hand.

“So?”

“It worked. Lance should be talking to Keith soon. And some other topics came up too.”

Hunk sat on a stool next to them, shoving the thing in his mouth. “Shpill.”

Pidge immediately launched into a detailed explanation of what had happened on the hill. Hunk sat silent, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Pidge,” he began slowly, “You mentioned how you had wondered what went down between them. How maybe that was why Lance had given Keith the cold shoulder.”

“Yeah?”

He spun on his seat to look them in the eye. “I was Lance’s best friend for years. I’ve been with him through every high and low during that time. I knew how he acted around every enemy. Every rival. Every true crush.”

Pidge’s eyes widened. How had they never come to this conclusion before? “Keep going…”

“I still support the theory that something went down when they broke apart. But what if there was something else.”

“But Lance never acts this way when he likes someone,” Pidge pointed out.

Hunk wagged a finger, “That’s where you’re mistaken. Lance may act like some loverboy to random people. When he actually likes someone, it’s a whole different story.”

“You’re saying…”

“I think Lance likes Keith.”

For a second they considered squealing around like a tween at a concert. They remembered Keith’s confession and Lance’s odd blush. But their excitement deflated as they took into account the people they were dealing with. Together the two slumped, sharing the same thoughts.

“This can’t end well,” Pidge groaned, “The two biggest socially idiotic guys I know possibly liking each other.”

Hunk tilted his head back and sighed, “Lance with his dino-sized insecurities.”

“Keith with his stubborn self-doubt,” Pidge added.

“Not to mention Lance’s possessive boyfriend.”

Pidge was both sad and glad there wasn’t a table around for them to bang their head on. “Good thing these two idiots have geniuses for friends.”

Hunk perked up, “That’s true, huh? I’d love to help two friends realize their love for each other.”

“I’d love to get rid of a certain purple-eared pest,” Pidge mumbled, glaring out the bakery window.

“He’s really not that bad,” Hunk tried.

They turned their glare to him. “He insulted my friend. I don’t care if his heart is made from gold that a star threw up.”

Hunk just shrugged turning away from them again. Slowly he looked at Pidge out of the corner of his eyes. “Should we let the others in on this?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Team Punk at it again, then.”

“Punk is on the hunt for some purple. Whether that comes from a dead Ven or the union of a red and blue paladin.”

“How about we stick to the latter,” Hunk squeaked.

“Fine.”

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

Keith had needed a distraction. The plan Pidge, Hunk, and he had come up with kept circling through his head. It was a simple one, yeah, but it could fail in several different ways. But it had been left in Pidge’s hands. There was no doubt it’d succeed. Still, he couldn’t help but worry. Coran found him pacing in their building while searching for some cape Keith didn’t mind never seeing, remembering Coran’s other cape that he had passionately shown off. The man had ushered him out of the building once he noted the boy’s tense body. “Explore this lovely planet!” he had shouted, literally pushing Keith out the door and shoving smooth bone-white pebbles into his hand.

Realizing he had never really explored the village, he came up with a little personal goal. He’d go around the little town until the moment either Pidge found him or he found them.

He had almost left the moment he stepped amidst the crowds of aliens. It was the smell that had hit him. Mostly it smelled of delicious meats and breads, but somehow it also smelled of familial love and happiness. He tried to push what it reminded him of out of his mind. Without noticing he had pulled the green jacket around himself even tighter, not helping him at all. He let himself drown in the scent, slowly moving past it.

Blueren was full of incredibly kind people he was beginning to learn, except for one alien. It surprised him how different other plants were from Earth. While Earth had been corrupted by meanness and greed a long time ago, Venellmet seemed to have never been tainted by that unkindness. Even though he was completely different than the creatures that bustled around him, he wasn’t stared at like some science project being dissected. When he bumped into people he never got a rude gesture or insult. Only polite sorries and excuse mes. If he were to get stuck in this place, he wouldn’t mind a bit. He could understand Lance a little bit more now.

He had learned the little white pebbles Coran had given him were Ven currency. He bought some sort of meat that was smaller than a turkey leg but bigger than a chicken leg. Whatever it was it was absolutely delicious. He let the chef know. The woman had smiled, shooing him away kindly.

A colorful stand caught his eye as he walked away from the woman. He examined it as he got closer. It was a jewelry stand. There was a Ven with swamp-green ears that curved up elegantly sitting behind all the bracelets and necklaces, paying close attention to a rust-colored gem that was streaked with black. It was a middle-aged man whose spots of fur was streaked with silver. He looked up when Keith was a few steps away. His eyes were sharp and ran over Keith in a second. If it weren’t for the warm grin on his face he might’ve been intimidating.

“Hey there, young man!”

“Hi.”

“You’re welcome to look around as I work,” the man gestured to the tiny silver chains that dangled around him, holding beautiful handmade charms, “If you find anything you’re interested in tell me.” Then he grabbed a sharp tool and began to gently carve into the stone he had been focused on earlier.

Keith almost felt overwhelmed at the number of charms that surrounded him. There were all sorts in all colors and sizes. Little leaves, animals Keith has never seen before, and all sorts of beautiful of things. He was running his hands through the many of necklaces, listening to sound of thin metal hitting metal when his fingers grasped one that seemed to jump out at him.

It was a single flame, looking so real Keith would’ve thought it was frozen in time if he couldn’t feel the smoothness of it against his palm. The flame started off with a dot of blue before erupting into a swirl of different reds. He pulled his hand away as if the charm were real, burning his skin. Even though it was obvious Keith had to ask, “What’s this?”

The man looked at what he was pointing to and smiled. “That’s the Flame of Love. It represents the flame that illuminates the crystals each of our tribes thrives off of. You’ve heard of it before,” the man looked up at Keith, knowing in his eyes, “A great hunter protected ours very recently. The legend is that the love our tribe shares with each other keeps the flame burning inside the crystal. Each tribe’s is created when a family lights fire to a crystal found at the bottom of a lake. It portrays how even opposing forces can love the other. By some magic, the fire finds it’s way inside. If the crystal breaks it lets out one small flame that dies out. If the flame dies out it’s considered a curse against the tribe’s love. I haven’t lived long enough to see it happen but it has. This little necklace is a courting gift meant to show you have your own flame of love.”

Keith processed the information. Lance had to have known the story. Or at least the Light’s importance to Blueren. Keith remembered his panic when Haggar had the crystal in her grasp. Without thinking he grabbed the necklace off its tiny hook and held out his hand of pebbles. “I’d like to buy it.”

“Is there a special person?”

“An idiot that I care for too much.”

The man laughed, pushing Keith’s hand away, handing him a pouch.

“He saved our Light, it’s up to you to keep his burning.”

Keith took the necklace and put it into the pouch, speechless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the only reason I'm uploading this chapter on time is that I have a day off today. Just have to make it to summer and then I can relax a bit. <3


	29. Sparks With the Wrong One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance talk. Lance realizes something that makes him guilty. Finally some quality time between him and Allura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

Keith had now seen nearly everything in the town. It had been amazing seeing the way these people lived and the place they lived in. In no time he was outside of town, the sky darkened just a bit walking around the border, the little pouch heavy in his suit.

Someone kicked up leaves behind him, disturbing the ethereal silence. Keith didn’t quite prepare as if he were about to fight someone. He didn’t want to hurt Pidge or Hunk or anyone like that. But he was coiled like a spring when he spun to face Lance.

The boy didn’t even flinch when Keith lifted his bayard defensively. He did eye it until Keith put it back on his belt. A few weeks ago Keith would scoff at the prospect that had he really struck Lance he would’ve won the skirmish that followed. Now, he was sure that the moment his bayard activated he would’ve been pinned to the ground.

He met Lance’s eyes and swallowed, the charm somehow feeling even heavier as he remembered his silent promise to the jeweler.

Lance looked away, staring at the ground nervously. Why was he here?

“Hey,” he finally said, “I need to talk to you.”

Well, that’s not what Keith expected. Pidge’s plan must’ve worked. “Okay.” What a great response, Keith!

Lance looked around and sat on a nearby boulder, waiting for Keith to join him. He did, silently with arms crossed.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you this morning. I had a lot of time to think of certain things and that’s no excuse, but I thought that maybe if I stopped talking to you they’d go away. But Pidge was worried about how I might be hurting you. I never meant to hurt you.” He was frowning and avoiding Keith’s gaze.

“It’s alright. It’s—”

“Don’t,” Lance interrupted, “Don’t say it’s your fault. It’s not in any way. Or so I hope. You told me the truth. Something that would’ve never come out without you. I thank you for that. It helped me put a lot of things into perspective.” For a quick second, he smiled, but the small smirk fell away too fast.

“I just have no idea what to do now. And I guess running away was my quick and easy solution.”

Keith really wanted to wipe that frown off his face. Maybe he could…Not yet.

“That’s okay,” He blurted, “I used to react the same way to every problem I faced. I ran away. It’s cost me a lot and I’m getting better at it. I understand the feeling of constantly wanting to run. It’s just natural and you can’t blame yourself. Especially when things get overwhelming. Plus it doesn’t seem like you’re running anymore.”

Lance raised an eyebrow and looked at Keith strangely before mumbling, “Yeah, I think I’m sprinting now.”

He waved away Keith’s confused expression. That didn’t sit well in his gut. There was still something bothering Lance that had to do with him that he wasn’t saying. Right now, with Lance so antsy, he didn’t want to pry. So he pried about other things.

“Why did you run away the other day?”

Lance didn’t shut off like Keith would have in his place. He didn’t get defensive either as Keith had with him several times before. Not like he remembered. It was like he opened up subtly in little ways. He slumped slightly and his arms inched closer to the rest of his body and his eyes glazed over like he was trying to write words in them.

“I ran because things got overwhelming. What does being the blue paladin mean? How is this possible? How could I have forgotten so many things? How had I ever been as great a person as you all described? I’m not a hero. I’m a teen who can’t even keep his feelings in check.”

For some reason that made Keith want to smile. Lance had always been heroic. Yet at the same time, he had always been tripping over his emotions every which way. Maybe he should just give him the charm now. Even if it was a courting gift, Lance would never know.

Hesitantly, he pulled the pouch out and handed it to Lance.

“What’s this?” Lance asked letting the pouch fall into his palm. He opened it and pulled the flame out, eyes growing wide as he examined it.

“I was exploring the town I visited a little stand. The seller was a kind old Ven. He gave me the charm and told me the story of the Light. The one you saved. He gave me this for you to thank you for saving his tribe,” Keith told, “So even if you can’t exactly except being the blue paladin or if you think you’re just some overly emotional teen, just know that not only are you human but that you can be a hero. You’ve only been here for some time and you’ve already saved the entire village from dying out.”

The boy looked at the charm with even wider eyes. Keith could’ve sworn there were tears threatening to spill. But Lance didn’t cry. He just slipped the necklace on and gripped the charm fondly.

“Thank you, Keith.” And then he smiled. A genuine smile that Keith missed so much. It made Keith smile shyly in return.

“Remember,” he said, “You don’t have to worry if you’re good enough to be a hero. You already are.”

Somehow Lance’s grin grew even brighter. He tucked the charm beneath his top and jumped up, startling Keith. Suddenly Keith was wrapped in a hug not too tight yet not too loose. It was perfect. Even if Lance wasn’t his, he’d do anything for him to stay this happy. He squeezed Lance back, bittersweet warmth bursting in his chest.

Lance pulled away, hand over the spot on his chest where the charm lay against his skin. As they usually were nowadays, his eyes were glazed over, showing just how much occupied his head. Not long ago, Keith would’ve told someone that head was empty.

“I should go now,” Lance said, “Acrijwim’s about to go onto patrol. I’m gonna find him before then.”

Keith smiled, doing his best to hide the contempt her felt for Lance’s “boyfriend”. He sat back down on the rock, watching him leave. Voltron, he wished he hadn’t yelled at him so many months back. Maybe Keith would be the one holding Lance instead of the purple Ven. But as he’s said, he ran away, and it’s cost him a lot. It cost him his best friend.

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

Lance fidgeted with his charm, forcing himself to calm down. If he hadn’t been sure about his weird feeling, he was now. Why had he hugged Keith? It had only made him feel worse about the situation. Hugging him had made his nerves spark and his heart race. The worst part was, he had never felt that way with Acrijwim, and that made him feel terrible.

Acrijwim was wonderful. He was kind and selfless and made Lance feel comfortable with himself. He was adorable and was always making small gestures to show Lance how he felt about him. He cared for his family, hunters, and tribe above all else. He cared about everything and everyone, really. He deserved so much better than someone who didn’t return his love. He deserved so much better than Lance.

The realization hit him like a brick. He had to end his relationship with Acrijwim. Of course, at that moment, said Ven appeared in front of him, eyes twinkling. He scooped Lance up in his arms and buried his face in Lance’s neck. Lance melted into the warmth, his secret weakness being hugged.

“Hey, Acri,” he greeted, trying to keep his voice from cracking. Thankfully Acrijwim didn’t notice.

“Hello. I’m about to go on patrol. Just wanted to say hi before then,” he smiled kissing Lance on the nose.

Lance smiled back, guilt eating away at his heart. “Do you know where Strolry is?”

Acrijwim thought for a moment before answering, “I think she’s in the hunter hut with the paladin Allura.” He glared, looking to the ground. “They’re still studying that stupid jar.”

Lance didn’t know how to react so he just pulled Acrijwim into another hug. “Okay, stay safe.”

Acrijwim nodded, his grin returning to its normal level of brightness. Lance waved goodbye and watched sullenly as he bounded off. He needed to talk to Strolry about this. She knows a lot about relationships, right? She was mating soon.

He silently slipped past the cloth door and looked around the room. There was no Strolry in sight. There was the Altean princess, Allura, looking in a mirror, pinching her cheeks and pulling on them before smacking them lightly and sighing. “I wish the mice were here,” she mumbled, slumping into a circle of pillows.

“Mice?” Lance raised an eyebrow, keeping a laugh in at the display.

Allura jerked up, posture straightening immediately. Somehow she still managed to look regal amongst a bed of throw pillows with a messy bun that had more hairs out of it than in.

She cleared her throat, holding a fist to her mouth before laying both hands neatly in her lap. “While I was in the cryopod I formed a special bond with four Altean mice. It may sound silly but I’ve grown rather close to them. They are good with gossip and listen very well.”

“So you can understand them? As in they speak to you?” he asked incredulously, “I wish I had that sorta weird bond.”

Allura looked down at the backs of her hands with a strained expression. “You did once. With the Blue lion. She loves you very much even if she appears just to be a robot.”

Lance’s face darkened. He thought back to when he “first” woke up. He had been in Blue. Or so he thought. He remembered the odd soothing voice that had guided him through the ship. There had been love in that voice. It was clear. “Yeah, I wish I could remember her more. I only remember waking up inside this alive ship with a head wound. But I heard her voice. She helped me survive.”

At that, Allura smiled. “She’s much like you, Lance. She cares for her family and you were her family.”

Lance ducked his head, avoiding her eyes that seemed to look straight through his soul.

“Is there a reason you came by?”

“I was looking for Strolry. I wanted to talk to her about something.”

“Oh, well, she went out with Tekvee for the day to spend time with her uncle and Tekvee’f family.”

Lance was about to just say okay and walk out when Allura stood up, unwrinkling the purple silk shorts she borrowed from the pink Ven. She looked at Lance hopefully. “Maybe until she gets back, you can talk to me. There’s plenty of space down here. Plus I’m a bit lonely with all the paladins out doing something productive and my job is to sit here and detect any magic anomalies.”

Lance may not know her very well but he did like her. He might like talking to her. She definitely didn’t seem the type of person to spill one’s secrets around like it was nothing. Also, there was a silent plea in her voice when she mentioned being all alone. Maybe like Lance, being alone for too long made her nervous.

“If you promise not to tell anyone. And you have to share secrets of your own.”

Allura brightened, looking nearly as young as Pidge with her eyes shining excitedly and her hands clasped in front of her chest. Immediately, Lance was glad he accepted her offer. She gestured for the pile of assorted bedding and sat on the floor, leaning against a large pillow. He joined her wrapping his lower half in a fuzzy blanket that made his insides feel warm.

“So,” she said, “What’s bothering you?”

Lance sighed, “You’ve been in relationships before, right?”

Allura grimaced as if remembering plenty of past exes who had not been all that enjoyable. “Go on.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH WOW, I"M NOT DEAD! Yeah, about that sorry it took so long to upload this chapter. I don't even know how long it's been since I continued writing this fic. It's not like I've lost interest in it, it's just lately, my ideas have been piling up and I'm now drowning in OCs, drawing ideas, and new stories. Not to mention state testing coming up. I'm pretty busy and for a while, this just sank into my list of last priorities. This has caused me to write the ending sooner which makes me sad but I have other works that should come like right after this ends. Get ready for a butt load of BNHA multi-shipping. Okay, thanks for being patient with me, love ya <3


	30. BFFs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura and Lance talk and Allura isn't so lonely anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

He wrapped the blanket around his legs tighter to chase away the sudden balls of guilt bouncing around his stomach.

“I don’t love Acrijwim,” he blurted.

Allura barely reacted, her brows furrowing slightly and something flashing in her eyes. “That’s your current lover, correct?”

“Yes.”

She nodded as if that was information to be considered thoroughly. “But from my experience and the experience of other couples, you don’t have to love someone to engage in a romantic relationship with them. There’s more isn’t there?”

Lance nodded, burying his face into a silky pillow to avoid looking at Allura as she talked. “I don’t really like him in that way at all. He’s an amazing person and I bet I would’ve eventually fallen for him if it weren’t for the fact that…” He trailed off, ashamed.

“You love someone else,” Allura guessed. He looked at her as if to say yes.

When he saw her he noticed something. Her eyes were beautiful, like nothing he’s ever seen before. And they scared him a little bit. They looked like cyan pools of knowledge and courage that could take down a man in seconds with either words or weapons. Lance knew that if she were tribe leader, the tribe would follow her into a fire. One look into those eyes and he knew she knew something about him that she shouldn't. And he’s not even sure if it has to do with his past. It was about what he was talking about now.

“Yeah,” he admitted sullenly, curling up slightly as if to protect himself from his own shame. “But Acrijwim loves me. I don’t think I could ever love him back. I’d never be able to give him what he deserves from a boyfriend. I know I should break it off with him I just don’t know how. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s done so much for me in the short time I’ve been here. He saved my life.”

The princess stayed silent, observing the ball of cloth that Lance had become over the course of a minute. “You definitely need to tell him,” she agreed, “But I see why you wouldn’t want to.”

Lance pouted and buried his face deeper into the pillow.

“It’s got to be soon too,” Allura pointed out, “You wouldn’t want to lead him on.”

“I know, I know,” Lance mumbled, “What if I really, really hurt him? What if the hunters get mad at me then I’m forced to not become a hunter? What if they don’t want to be my friends anymore? I still want to be Acrijwim’s friend. I do love him, just not in the way he wants me to.”

Allura sighed and Lance heard a rustling of cloth before his blanket was being pulled down to his shoulders. He looked up at her and she held out both her arms.

‘You may not know me very well but you told me a long time ago that hugs make you feel better. Because of you, I’m rather addicted to the gestures of affection.”

He didn’t hesitate and pushed past the blanket to wrap his arms around her. It felt natural, the way she casually hooked her chin on his shoulder and rubbed his back. His body effortlessly fit with hers as he did the same. Even if he can’t remember, he can tell he’s hugged her several times before. It was like when he hugged Pidge or Hunk except Allura wasn’t as small or enveloping. They separated but sat closer to one another in the pile, sharing the same blanket. They laid on their backs, facing the jar. Lance’s quintessence lazily drifted around hitting the glass and bouncing off before repeating the process.

“If they refuse to be your friends after a simple breakup then they are not true friends. Acrijwim may take some time to recover that is understandable but you are only teenagers. You aren’t even that far into your relationship. It shouldn’t make a large dent in your friendship. If they take your hunter title away from you, you always have us. You could be apart of Team Voltron, even if you don’t want to be a paladin. We could take you back to your home and you can live with your family. You have a choice Lance and no one but you should affect it greatly.”

Lance imagined himself apart of Team Voltron. The inside jokes and references to the past he wouldn’t understand but had been apart of once. The looks when they forget for a split second that he isn’t the same Lance that had been their blue paladin. Then he imagined him going back to Earth to his family. He remembered them now, yeah, but how would they react. He’s been missing for who knows how long. He doesn’t know who he is. He wouldn’t be the son that they mourned. He’d only be a stranger in their home wearing their son’s skin.

“Allura, how did I tell you about the hug thing? When did I tell you? Why did I?”

She pursed her lips, prying into her own memory to grasp the event.

“We had only just all become friends. The team was growing closer and closer by the day. We made the promise to protect the universe and we would do it at any cost. Some of us had lost our families already and some of us were leaving members behind. We were creating our own family. Everyone showed our sadness in some way. Thinking back on it you were really the only one who didn’t. You joked and laughed while we raged, shut off, and randomly grew upset. I was a bit snappish and extremely rude at times. Especially with you. You flirted with me a lot and I didn’t realize you were only trying to elevate the mood and I had believed you didn’t take your role seriously.”

She laughed silently to herself as she shook her head as if disappointed in herself. He opened his mouth to deny what she said but she stopped him. “As much as you try to make it seem better, no one should be belittled for trying to make people happier in serious situations. I wish I realized that before you shut us out of your head even more than you already had.”

He didn’t reply and she took that as a sign to continue.

“Well one stressful day everyone was showing their signs that they were upset. Shiro went over every plan he could to fight the galra, Keith trained, Pidge did research, Hunk cooked, Coran made sure everyone was still taking care of themselves, I was pacing using as much magic as I could to detect any robeasts, and you were walking around with bright smiles with Coran. You came up to me and made some joke, I can’t remember it now, and I snapped at you, telling you that right now wasn’t the time for fooling around. I stalked off to my room and sat in my bed, being sad without the motivation to cry.

“I was sure I had scared you off. Little did I know that I had only pushed you to comfort me even more. You followed to my room and knocked. I let you in, ready to lecture you again when you asked if I was okay. It was such a simple question. But only Coran knew to ask me that. The others assumed I carried the weight of leadership perfectly fine. When you asked me that I broke down. I cried in front of you, my mice scurrying in my lap. You didn’t judge me for crying, you didn’t consider it weak of a leader, you barely acknowledged it.

“You sat down with me and told me about how your older sister sometimes took care of the family when your father was out on business trips and your mother was stressed from currency issues. You said that she was the leader of you and your siblings, the one who never cracked. You told me how you comforted her and told her it was alright to break a little under pressure, to let others help glue the cracks and work together. You told me I reminded you of her and that I could break. I could cry. I could be emotional and strong. No one ever really told me that before and I didn't realize how much I needed it.

“When I was taking it all in you offered a hug because they always made you and your sister feel better. I told you that my father did the same to comfort me when I was little. From then on we were close. We told each other stupid secrets. Around each other, we weren’t a hero of the universe and a leader of a crucial team. We were just a boy and a girl who needed to be emotional sometimes. Now I realize you never did really tell me what made you sad. Only what made you angry and afraid and imperfect. You were the one always helping me. You helped everyone. Yes, you have many flaws but I think most people like to focus on those and that’s why I try to focus on what makes you amazing. Just like you did with me.”

“You’re in no way perfect, Lance,” Allura said, “But your amazing just the same.”

Lance smiled, tears leaking from his eyes. Suddenly pain flared from his abdomen. He jerked up, bending over. He suppressed noises of pain as his quintessence brightened, now frantically dancing in the jar.

“Lance, are you okay?”

He was most definitely not. Just as all the other times, regaining his memories came with a great deal of pain. He couldn’t think properly. His vision turned black and he could hear Allura, but not the current one.

“Your ears, they’re hideous!” They were fighting. A lot of fighting and snapping. Then he was hugging her in a bright room with a blue mouse on his shoulder. They had face masks on and were dancing to some Altean music. They were talking casually as they ate weird goo. She was rolling her eyes at his stupid jokes but smiling as well. She was playfully styling his hair saying how the birthday boy needed to look great as he ate his cake.

He gasped as the memories calmed down, joining the ones of Hunk, Pidge, and his family. The pain disappeared in an instant. The current Allura with messy hair and pink shorts looked up at his face with worry.

“I’m alright, it’s just…” He smiled brightly and the concern melted away on her face, replaced with joy. “I remember you, ‘Lura.”

She jumped up and fist pumped the air as she had many times in the loops in his head. She looked him in the eye with a skeptical expression. “Loverboy Lance and…”

“The Astonishing Allura,” he finished, feeling exhilarated for having remembered the stupid rhyme they came up with one boring, sleepy night.

Her smile radiated joy. It took her a bit to calm down. When she did she sat down beside Lance, a lot happier than she had been when he walked in on her missing her mice. Hopefully, she felt less lonely now.

But he noticed her smile curling into a more thoughtful purse of lips. There was a question in her head and he knew by her hesitance that the question might be bad in some way. Otherwise, she would’ve just asked him as soon as it popped in her head.

“Lance,” she began, “Who is the one you love?”

He stiffened. Automatically the image of Keith with his hair wet in the rain and a smile brighter than the moon. He knew how he felt know. Maybe it wasn’t exactly love, but it was more than what he felt for Acrijwim. The feeling he felt when talking with Keith was much different. It might not be so solid yet, but there was still something he felt for the paladin.

Was it right telling Allura? The answer was obvious. Yes. With his memories back, he knew he could trust her with anything. He was only nervous considering Keith was her friend and he really knew nothing about him. He didn’t even know why he liked him the first place. Or maybe that was a lie.

He turned and faced her. “The person I like is Keith.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I posted again. *GASP* Seriously though even I'm surprised I gathered the time and motivation to write this chapter. But I absolutely love the headcanon that Lance and Allura were those ones who gossiped and cried together over the stupidest crap who would stand at each other's side no matter what. Hopefully, I can go back t posting every week and that I'll have the time to post next Monday. <3


	31. The Cool Uncle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura takes Lance to her most trusted advisor. Lance regains some more memories. He makes it the days goal to regain all his memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

He watched with a racing heart as Allura’s face flashed through several emotions at once, landing on one of disbelief and...Excitement? He could practically see the sudden energy simmering beneath her skin. She was biting her lip hard as if to keep in something that wasn’t supposed to come out.

It took her only a few seconds to regain her composure. The energy was still there but now it was even and calm, tamed until the moment it could be properly released. “Well,” she said, shocked, “That was unexpected yet makes no perfect sense.”

Lance looked at her weirdly. “What do you mean it makes sense?”

Allura’s face scrunched up and she fiddled with her fingers. “Before we defeated Zarkon and everything happened around that time, you probably don’t remember any of what I’m talking about, but you an Keith were rather close. We teased you about it all the time but nothing seemed to be going on. Maybe there was and it’s sort of coming back to you in a way. Not like I’m assuming anything. This really could be a new thing.”

He remembered Pidge saying something about something happening between the two before they suddenly broke off and he distanced himself. Maybe he did have feelings and Keith didn’t accept them? Oh stars, if that was true then what was he going to do now? It was obvious though, he had to break up with Acrijwim and never let Keith know about how he felt. That’d hurt as few people as possible and avoid the risk of him ruining relationships.

“Either way,” he said, “I need to let Acrijwim know we won’t work out. How am I supposed to that after all the things he’s done for me?”

The princess thought for a moment before a small smile graced her face. “I think I know just the person.”

She pulled me up and went behind a curtain to change out of her pink shorts into leggings. She grabbed a cylinder bag, threw it over her shoulder, and stuffed the jar in it.

Lance didn’t bother asking any questions until they were out the door, Allura wearing a concentrated look that sort of scared and intrigued him.

“So, um, where are we going?”

“The guest cabin. It might be because he used to be a professional advisor but Coran has always been great at giving advice,” Allura explained, “Even when I was little I would go to him for fights between friends and he always gave me the best ways to resolve my issues. There’s no one better for this task.”

He nodded uncertainly. It was a bit hard pairing the role of a professional advisor with the man with the orange mustache and an eccentric personality that could possibly overwhelm the most extroverted person out there. Or maybe he was the most extroverted person out there. Allura didn’t need to know those doubts though. He trusted her and her mind. So she had to be right about this.

It was hard to keep up with Allura’s swift pace even with his long legs. When she was focused on something she was _focused_. He didn’t need to have known her longer than a day to know that. He imagines she’d have made an amazing queen if it weren’t for Zarkon.

They arrived at the paladins' hut and the princess checked inside to see if Coran was there. She gave a thumbs up to Lance and slipped inside. He heard chatting and began fiddling with the flame around his neck, unsure of whether he was supposed to go inside or not. A body being pushed through the curtain startled him and he jumped back dropping the necklace against his chest.

“Stop moping and go hang out with Pidge and Hunk!” Allura demanded from inside.

The figure stood up mumbling and met Lance’s eyes. Lance couldn’t help but remember the words he had said only minutes ago as he desperately searched for something to say to Keith. He grabbed onto the necklace again to ground himself and subtly took in a deep breath. He hoped his face didn’t betray him.

“You should probably listen to ‘Lura,” he suggested, “It’s probably better than being pushed into the city with a large stick to your back.”

“Lura,” he mumbled, probably not for Lance to hear, “Haven’t heard that in days.”

Lance refused to reply. Instead, he just stared at Keith waiting for who knows what.

“Yeah,” Keith finally said, “That’d be embarrassing.” Not another word and he was gone.

Lance sighed and shoved his necklace beneath his shirt. He entered the hut to see Coran and Allura staring at him with grins on their faces.

“That was incredibly hard to witness,” Alura laughed, “You really do like him.”

His face burned up and he swatted at her telling her to shut up.

“The princess tells me your here for advice,” Coran interrupted. He held onto his chin with a smirk. “Back in the good ol’ days, I was the master of advice. People would travel all over to get incredible words of wisdom from the Coran the Gorgeous Man.”

Allura rolled her eyes and sank into her cot, shutting her lids like she was preparing to take a nap.

“Yeah,” I murmured, sitting on a cot with a familiar picture pinned up on the wall. He didn’t look too closely and gripped his knees. Immediately Coran’s demeanor seemed to change. He went from a goofy sort of uncle-type to someone who’s seen too many things. Someone who lived through a war and shouldered thousands of other people’s problems out of pure kindness and compassion. Lance knew then why he had been the top professional advisor and why Allura depended on him so much.

“What do you need help with?”

“It’s not too serious,” I insisted, “It’s not anything to be really concerned about.”

“If it’s bothering you then it’s something worth being concerned about,” Coran stated.

“Well, I need to break up with Acrijwim before I seriously hurt him. He’s said he loves me but I just can’t return those feelings. I like someone else. I like...Keith. How do I let him go easily?”

Coran’s eyes widened but other than that he displayed no reaction. “You are correct about having to end it before you end up in a loveless relationship that neither of you deserves. The way to do so is quite simple. You just need to tell him the full truth. Let him know he’s a great person and that’s not why you need to separate. Just tell him you can’t return his feelings but wish to remain friends.

“It sounds heartless to just dump it all on him but it’s what people want to hear in the end. Otherwise, they’re left in an endless loop of wondering if they just weren’t good enough. If he’s truly a good person and friend than he’ll understand. If he doesn’t then you know you shouldn’t be friends at all afterward. But it all boils down to telling to truth. That’s really all you have to do.”

Lance doesn't know how such a plain solution seemed so complicated and hard to execute. Coran was absolutely right and he knew that he was going to listen to whatever advice the old man gave him. But how? It really wasn’t as easy as it sounded.

Coran picked up on his worry easily and moved from his seat and sat beside Lance, putting his hand on Lance’s back comfortingly. Or it was supposed to be. Neither of them expected the shock as Coran’s fingers brushed his cloak.

Across from them Allura jerked up and pulled the jar from her bag, watching as the quintessence glowed brighter. She gave Coran a smile, “It’s your turn.”

Coran frowned and so did Lance. Because he knew that while what happened next was going to be great, it was also going to be extremely painful. So he looked into Coran’s eyes asking for some sort of permission before gripping on to the man’s arm as agony began to spread throughout his back, right where that peculiar scar was.

Suddenly he and Coran weren’t sitting on a cot. They were below a holograph of stars and planets as Coran comforted the homesick boy. Lance was protecting him and his back seared. He was forcing some odd space cuisine into his mouth and giving Coran a forced smile. Coran rambled on about being a teen himself as he scrubbed glass. He was constantly listening to Lance rant and giving his opinion that always seemed to help. He was just always there in the memories. Like he was constantly supporting Lance and helping him as well as the helped the rest of the time. The uncle impression he gave off really was how he was.

Lance opened his eyes with a gasp, his grip on Coran’s arm loosening. The first thing he said as the two people in the room stared at him expectantly was, “You really are the goofy, supportive uncle.”

Allura burst into laughter and Coran threw his hands up, “I’m not goofy. I’m cool.”

“Whatever you say, Uncle Coran,” Allura teased which caused Coran to make a series of exasperated noises.

Even with the weight of what he had to do, he was laughing and smiling because he had help from two amazing people. He noticed the picture on the wall again. This time he looked at closely. He held in his surprise as he registered his face among the faces of the rest of the paladins. He unpinned the picture from the wall and held it closer to his face.

It was like every memory he’s been given was confirmed in that very picture. He could see the happiness he’s felt reflected on all their faces. There were only two there that he still knew nothing about. Shiro and of course, Keith. But they were all smiling, he was smiling. Light seemed to radiate from them. He had Keith pulled in a side hug and Keith was smiling reluctantly, adorably. He ignored the last part and flipped the photo over. July 28.

He inched forward to the edge of the cot and turned to Allura and Coran. Voice slightly shaky and the fingers that held the photo trembling he asked, “What’s July 28?”

They went dead silent and stared at the photo then him. Allura cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes even though there was nothing there. “That’s your birthday.”

“My birthday?”

He stared at the picture even longer and came to a decision. Triggers. Each memory came with a trigger. Each paladin and my memories of them have been triggered in some way. He’s remembered everyone in the photo except for three of them. Keith, Shiro, and myself. Suddenly Lance wanted to remember them so badly. He stood up quickly and shoved the photo in a pocket in his cloak.

“What are you doing?” Allura stood up and grabbed the end of the cloak.

“By the end of today,” he declared, “I will have remembered everyone in that photo. Then I will end it with Acrijwim. Then I’ll know what to do from there. Then I’ll finally know what I want to do. I’ll know who I am.”

Allura’s mouth fell open and Coran’s brows furrowed. They seemed worried, but what about, he didn't know. Hastily, he pulled the fabric from her and continued walking out.

“Wait,” she called. He turned. She pulled the bag off her shoulder and handed it to him. “Who are you going to first?”

He bit his lip and thought. “Shiro,” he answered, “Right now I don't know if I can be around Keith without tripping up somehow.”

She nodded and crossed her arms giving him a small smile. She was worried. Incredibly worried. Why? “Good luck,” she said, her voice not showing what her face did.

Deciding to ignore the obvious concern, he nodded.

[Allura’s P.O.V.]

“I’m scared, Coran,” she admitted, watching Lance leave from the entrance.

“Why?”

She frowned. “What if he decides to stay even after remembering everything?” she wondered, “I don’t want to leave him. I can’t leave anymore family behind.” Tears escaped her eyes and Coran pulled her into a hug.

“We’ll never leave him behind. And he’ll never leave us. I know it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did that thing where I remembered to post then like a few seconds later I forgot again then I remembered and jumped out of my bed to upload before it was too late. My schedule is unsatisfying enough as it is. But I'm finally entering the final stages of this fic. I honestly don't know how I'm going to feel when I finally write the last bits and pieces. To be honest, I've never finished a personal project like this before and I'm proud of myself for gathering the motivation and focus to do so. Thank you all so much for supporting me through this very new experience and I hope you enjoyed the chapter<3


	32. Running with Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is trying to find Shiro. He runs into someone we're familiar with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

Since the first person Lance needed to remember was Shiro, the first step was where figuring out where Shiro was. Being dramatic and all he hadn’t thought to ask Coran before storming off, cheery photo in hand. Thanks to his pride, he wasn’t going to turn around and ask. So he headed for the town in search of either him or his two friends who most likely knew where their lead paladin was.

He forgot if he had patrol today. If so then a hunter would tell him. For now, he’ll just have to act as if he were going on patrol later tonight so that if he did he would have accomplished his goal by then. With the invisible clock ticking, he moved briskly, his steps feverish as he smiled at villagers and greeted little Vens who ran along the paths with young glee.

He had no idea where any of the people he searched for would be. Surprise, surprise, that was a small problem. Thankfully Blueren wasn’t too big so he didn’t have to search too many places. He was about to pull the necklace from beneath his shirt, a self-induced anxiety making his skin chill and his breathing shallow, when he spotted two very familiars sitting behind glass at a table. He was an idiot. Of course, Hunk’s and Pidge’s favorite place in the village would be the renowned bakery. Their bread was delicious. He wouldn’t be shocked to find Hunk himself working behind the counter one day. The villagers would be in for a treat then.

He rushed in and welcomed himself to their conversation, sitting on a third stool at the table. Too absorbed in their conversation they didn’t even notice him for a little bit.

“Would it be too much, though if we brought all the planets to form some sort of government? People have a hard enough time keeping empires stable, not entire galaxies,” Pidge stated.

“That’s true but we know it can happen if people were just taught better. The main reason most large governments fall apart is because of violence and ignorance. If people were to be taught better that wouldn’t happen, right?”

Pidge snorted, “We both know that will never happen. Stupid people are like ants, you see one, there’s an entire army nearby.”

Lance decided to pitch in, hearing that imaginary ticking in his head. “Well, that’s why we wouldn’t create a giant government or whatever you’d call it. There’s a limit to everything. That’s why we create millions of small nations that work together. They’d all have different ways but it wouldn't matter unless there’s harm being done. So we’d leave it sort of as it is now, doing what you guys do now. Spreading peace through these nations and rooting out the bad. There’s a lot of changes to be made but there are also things that just need to adapt to our evolution, not change entirely.”

They stared at him, mouths open. He couldn’t tell whether they were surprised at his words or the fact that he seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. Probably both.

‘Hi,” he waved.

Pidge adjusted their glasses, frowning thoughtfully, processing his opinion, pointing out valid points and creating counterarguments. Hunk smiled.

“Hey, didn’t notice you there. You’ve sure upped your stealth,” he remarked.

Lance nodded. “I’d hang out with you longer but I have a big errand to run. So do you have any idea where Shiro is?”

“Probably in the training hut with Linthu,” Pidge answered, “I heard them discussing fighting strategies and stuff, blah, blah.”

“Okay, thanks.” He ran from the table yelling a farewell as he carefully pushed through the crowds of people.

“Young man,” A voice called out.

Lance paused, wondering if it was him being addressed.

“Yep, you. Slow down, you’re going to hurt yourself like that.”

He turned to the source, an old man with silver highlights in his green fur. His eyes reflected what had to be hundreds of jewelry adorned with simple charms.

“Oh, that’s true. I just have somewhere to be soon.”

“Ah,” the old man drawled, “It makes sense for Blueren’s Light Savior to be busy.”

That made Lance finally fully stop in his tracks. With a confused purse of lips, he walked up to the stand of necklaces and bracelets. “Light Savior?”

“You don’t know?” the man asked, even though he didn’t appear to be surprised by that. Lance shook his head and waited for the Ven to explain.

“You protected our Light from the Galra. You saved our most precious artifact, the base of every tribe. You saved Blueren. You’re the Light Savior. Or at the very least the most recent Light Savior.”

Lance’s eyes widened. He realized the Light was incredibly important but he didn’t realize how big of a deal it was that he had protected it with his life. He had just done it without a second thought. To be honest he forgets all the time about that battle. His memory from that day was foggy.

“Hey, that looks familiar,” the man chuckled, gesturing to the necklace he had been unconsciously fiddling with as he pondered.

“Oh.” He took a glance at the flame in his hand and examined the accessories around him more closely. “You made this!”

The man smiled fondly. “I sure did, I remember giving it to another about your age. A sweet boy he was. Such a good heart he had. An innocence strong enough to survive the war he’s gone through.”

He knew the boy was Keith. He had given him the necklace. The description matched what Lance knew too.

“Helplessly in love as well,” the Ven muttered.

He couldn’t help it when his head shot up and his eyes searched the man’s as if he could just figure out the meaning behind his words. Keith? In love? With who? This made the man laugh again.

“You seem to be too.”

Lance flushed, gripping the charm nervously. “Yep, I have a great boyfriend and all.” He winced at the utter lie.

The man sighed. “People are always so stuck in their insecurities. Never willing to believe the one they love loves them back.”

He didn’t know how to reply, standing there awkwardly.

“Well, I know you have someplace to be. You weren’t rushing merely to walk fast,” the man said, “Wait here for a second, I have something especially for you.” He bent down and rummaged through something behind the stand. He popped back up with a necklace in his hand. “This is for you.”

Lance let him drop the strand of metal in his hand. Just like his, it was incredibly simple with a pretty charm opposite to the clasp. The charm on his was a flame while the one on this one was a crystal.

“The crystal that contains the flame is just as important as the flame itself. Love can sometimes be too much. The excess can be warped into something ugly and rotted. The crystal is what keeps the flame pure. It surrounds the flame comfortably, protecting it from harm. Without it, the flame would burn everything in its path before it went out, leaving ashes of hatred in its wake.”

Lance looked at his flame and the tiny crystal. They fit perfectly together, recreating cartoon image of the Light itself.

“Usually I give people a much less raw version of those necklaces. Two flowers or things that are bonded in ways only they understand. But I couldn’t give you and your soulmate nothing but the Crystal of Protection and the Flame of Love.”

His mouth dropped open and the crystal burned his hand more than the charm around his neck ever would. Soulmates? He handed it back to the vendor. “I would love to keep it but I have no money.”

He shoved his hand away. “No money needed. Give it to the one you love. You’ll know who to give it to when the time comes. Daylight is burning, you have a place to be.”

“At least give me your name so I’ll be able to repay you later.”

“My name is Tulefik. And there will be no later.”

He stared at the necklace. When he looked back up the stand was gone, along with the mysterious man. He wanted to investigate everything just to understand what just happened but the Ven was right. He had a place to be. Trying to shake the event off as best he could, he shoved the necklace in his pocket alongside the photo.

His earlier hurried pace had turned into a full on sprint. The sky was red and purple, bleeding into the blue of night. The day was halfway through. The clock was reaching midnight. Who knows what could happen? Tomorrow the paladins might have to leave and he’d lose his chance forever. Haggar could return and take his memory away again just for her joy. SO many things could happen in the span of today. He might have 25 hours left but so much could go wrong. He needed to get this done as soon as possible.

He burst into the training hut to find it empty. He groaned and pulled off his cloak, transferring the things in its pocket to a little homemade pocket in the wrappings around his stomach. Then he secured the jar tighter in his satchel so it wouldn’t fall as he ran. Even though chills wracked his body every few minutes he felt incredibly warm. There was this feeling in his gut that tonight was not going to end well. And he needed the feeling to leave. He needed to get this done. To do this for himself, to do something for himself at least this once before he put himself in the face of death again. Because as much as he denied he didn’t do it on purpose, he’d die before anything happened to someone he cared about, and that included the entirety of Blueren.

He took a guess at where Shiro and Linthu might be. The clearing. The one the hunters had taken him to as his first training session, playing Filkner. Stars, that seemed so long ago. Back then he had no goal other than to forget everything, even though he already had. That was the point though. Now he wished he had tried harder to regain something from his past. Maybe then he’d be farther along in his process of remembering who he used to be. Or at least what his old life used to be like.

There was no wind that night, just a slight breeze. Still, Lance’s hair flew this way and that as he ran into the trees. The sky began to work alongside his mental clock, changing as the minutes went by. Now it was more red than blue, the purple nearly taking over, but not quite yet. The sun was still up but it was rather low and the moon seemed brighter than ever.

He burst into the clearing with a gasp. The two men there immediately stilled, swords mid-swing. “Lance?” they said in unison. Lance punched the air triumphantly. He found them.

“Hey, guys.”

“What are you doing? And where is your cloak? It’s cold.” Linthu stood in a normal position and looked at him with concern. Shiro mirrored him and Lance noted that they could be twins.

“What do you mean it’s super stuffy?” he puzzled, “Nevermind that, I came because of Shiro.”

They just stared at him in confusion and he pulled the photo from around his stomach. He walked up to them and pointed to Shiro in the picture. “My goal is to remember every person in this photo,” then he pointed to the Shiro who stood in front of him, “You are one of them.”

Shiro examined the picture, memories seeming to crash down on him as he smiled at the group fondly. He did that for what felt like hours before he dropped his hand from the glossy paper and looked Lance in the eye.

“I’ll do whatever I can to help you. Both because it’s what you want and because it’d be nice to be remembered by someone I care about.”

“I’ll help, I guess. How are we supposed to get you to remember?” Linthu asked.

“My memories have triggers,” Lance explained, “Something specific needs to happen before they come back. I have this to help.” He pulled out the jar and set it on the floor. “When that gets super bright it means I’m regaining memories. So maybe we can do random things and see what makes them brighter. I don’t have much else to go off of.”

“Hmm, not much,” Linthu mumbled.

“We used to spar a lot,” Shiro piped up, “How about you join us.”

Linthu agreed and Lance set the stuff in his pockets down protectively in the jar’s satchel and his bayard on the ground. He grabbed the sword from Linthu’s outstretched hand and got into position, completing a triangle between the three of them.

“Okay,” Linthu breathed, “Get ready in one.”

Shiro looked Lance in the eye, giving him an encouraging smile, “Two.”

Lance bared his teeth in something resembling a smile, more ready than he’s ever been. “Three.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I like actually have the motivation and time to continuously write this. All at the cost of having testing. I'm even posting it before I lie down ready to fall asleep. Hopefully, I can maintain this new habit. Most likely not but gotta have hope, right? Well hope you liked the chapter <3


	33. One Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance kicks butt. Even with a little coughing. Someone he doesn't want to see walks in at the last minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

Lance had sparred with Linthu on several occasions. He mostly knew what to expect. Shiro? Not so much. Or more accurately not at all. So he wasn’t going to make any bold moves. He was only going to dodge and defend while observing his new opponent’s fighting style. That was easier said than done.

On some sort of unspoken truce, the two men both lunged at him, their swords drawn. He rolled forward making them have to pull back a bit as not to hit each other. He took the split second distraction to jump up, grabbing the branch of a tree. Pulling himself up he looked down with a smug grin as Linthu and Shiro stared up at him with narrowed eyes. With the speed of a cat, he jumped higher until they were struggling to catch up with him.

In a battle, you use everything to your advantage. Your surroundings, your body type, your strengths, your opponent’s weaknesses, and most of all, your opponent’s strengths. Lance was wiry, muscles hidden within his thin build. He was quite strong but agile. He could move fast. Linthu and Shiro were very similar in build. Big. They could probably throw Lance across a field as if he were just a sack of mail. But they were also slower and had a harder time controlling hoe precisely how their body moved. Not much but harder than Lance did.

They were only a few branches below him when he ran along a thick branch onto the next tree, dropping through the leaves, ignoring the little scratches twigs made as he fell. A couple of feet before he hit the ground he grabbed onto a branch and safely lowered his feet on the grass, slinking behind the trunk of another tree.

He heard Linthu’s and Shiro’s voices.

“I should’ve expected him to do this,” Linthu sighed.

“Does he usually do stuff like this?”

“Yes, he bends every rule he can. I mean it makes him a great fighter but it’s annoying because it gives him a huge advantage.”

“An obnoxious, clever strategist,” Shiro muttered.

“Really great when you’re on his side.”

Lance grinned to himself, keeping the unintentional compliments from going to his head. The two didn’t try to be stealthy, allowing Lance to prepare for their approach. Being as subtle as possible he formed his bayard, the comfortable weight of arrows settling on his back. Carefully drawing two arrows from his quiver, he waited. Just one more step and… Perfect! He shot at the ground right where their feet landed. As soon as the sharp tips pierced through the dirt, ice formed around their legs, trapping them.

Clearing his throat, he walked back into the clearing, holding two blunt sticks to their necks. “Having trouble, gentlemen?”

Shiro’s eyes were comically wide and he couldn’t stop gaping at the twig touching his skin and the ice that held him firmly. Linthu, on the other hand, had experienced several different versions of this and was smiling proudly with narrowed eyes.

“Should’ve known better,” he mumbled, “I yield. Now can you free me, my legs are growing cold.”

Lance let his bayard disappear and the magic ice went along with it. “I learned from the best.”

“Don’t get too cocky,” warned Linthu, “We both know who’s more experienced. You can expect to lose the next time.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He turned to Shiro, something hopeful in his eyes. There was a strong yearning that stirred within his gut. A yearning to be approved. To be worthy. It was stronger than it was usually with others. This was something old, something that followed him from his past.

Shiro stuck his bayard into his sheath and stepped forward. He laid a hand on Lance’s shoulder face shining with pride. “That was awesome.”

His words filled Lance with a childish giddiness that made him want to run around the clearing screaming yes over and over again. But he kept his excitement at bay and flashed Shiro with a bright smile that could blind.

Linthu was standing over Lance’s jar with a frown. “As fun as that was, it didn’t do anything.”

He walked beside his lead in training and joined in on the frowning. “It looks a little bit brighter, but that could definitely be my imagination.”

“Is there anything else you two did together a lot?”

“We would watch Altean movies, hang out with the others, play this pretty cool game, and talk I guess.”

Lance glanced up at the slowly moving clouds which were still vibrant reds and blues that mixed just slightly. “Well, I sort of have a time limit.”

“Did something happen? Why is there a time limit?” Shiro asked worriedly.

Lance opened his mouth and let out a few coughs. “No, I set the time limit myself. I just want to get it done before anything bad can happen.”

“Good, at least you’re not in any danger if we fail tonight,” Linthu said. Shiro nodded in agreement.

He coughed again and cleared his throat, deep in thought.

Acting on impulse, Shiro took the back of his hand and placed it on Lance’s forehead.

“What are you doing?”

“Checking if you're sick.”

“I’m fine, just something in my throat.”

“Tell us if you don’t feel good,” Shiro demanded, “There could be bacteria here our bodies aren’t used to that prove incredibly dangerous against our immune systems.”

“That’s true,” Linthu nodded, “But we’ve treated Lance. That reminds me we should probably give you the same anti-illnesses so you don’t get sick.”

  
Lance laughed and pushed Shiro away, “You’re such a dad.”

Shiro narrowed his eyes, “Don’t.”

“Space Dad.”

“I told you to stop calling me that!”

“Space Dad! Space Dad! Space—” Shiro hit him in the back of the neck gently. Suddenly the clearing was lit up with a brilliant light. Lance groaned and dropped as a sudden throb went through his entire body. The blue changed and he was leaning against a couch talking Shiro’s ear off while Shiro rubbed his temple. Shiro was carrying his limp body as the blue changed to an eery purple. He was talking to him seriously with a large gun in his hand. He was teaching him about the alien face creams he had gathered from planet to planet. He was being lectured not to risk his life. He was there to catch Lance when he fell from a pod, holding him as Lance cried, the father figure Lance has needed since he left Earth.

The light faded and the clearing was back. Two pairs of concerned eyes examined his face. He coughed into his elbow. “Space Dad.”

Shiro groaned and straightened. “He’s alright.”

“Did it work?” Linthu asked, helping him up.

“Well, I remember you,” He looked at Shiro, “But I still can’t remember the day in that photo.”

Something flashed over Shiro’s face and you could see the way he seemed to restrain himself. “You have a time limit. Go. And check Tekvee for something for your cough.”

He didn't need to be told again. Even as anxiety and dread pooled into his gut he gathered his things, fingers lingering over the crystal. Soulmate. Unlike last time he wrapped it around his wrist before throwing the satchel over his shoulder. And then he ran, measuring the sky’s colors. It was more purple now.

He felt like throwing up. That bad feeling was only growing worse and worse mixing with the nervousness of not only speaking to Keith but having to trigger his memories of him. What will he see? Will he see rejection? Anger? Fighting? He doesn’t even know what to expect.

He bumps into Keith on the trail to the Voltron crew’s hut. He pants and holds up a hand. He notices automatically when Keith stops walking. He knew he was screwed the moment he looked up. Those purple eyes bore into his and all the words he had somewhat prepared got clogged in his throat.

“Yes?” Keith quirked his eyebrow, twisting his mouth in confusion, creating a face kin to a pout. Too cute. Lance’s heart beat faster and he was calling on all his recent acting training. Training to help him keep calm in the presence of enemies, not boys too adorable for their own good. The silence went on too long and Keith looked like he was about to just walk away.

He managed to get a group on his emotions, unfortunately having to pull the necklace from beneath his shirt, an action Keith always noticed. “Sorry, Shiro thinks I’m a bit sick. I probably shouldn’t run too fast. Anyways…” Lance pulled the photo from his satchel pointing to where Keith reluctantly bathed in happiness.

“I’ve remembered every person in this photo except for two,” he explained, “I want to remember everyone, and that includes you. By the end of the day, I want to be able to remember you.”

“Who’s the other person?”

Lance’s brows furrowed and it took a second for him to answer. “That’s unimportant. I have until the end of the day to finish.”

“Why?”

Lance frowned, wishing Keith would stop asking so many questions. It was hard enough talking to him as it is. And it seemed his brain was growing more sluggish by the second. Again it took him longer than normal to reply. “I have a really bad feeling that something is going to happen and I won’t get the chance to remember you all and I really want to remember you guys. In the picture I look so happy, we all do, and I want to find that again. That piece of me that’s missing.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“How can I help you remember me?” He winced when he said it, like it hurt him somehow.

Lance frowned and coughed. “Well, Allura says there are triggers to my memories. They haven’t been anything specific but they seem to just be natural, mostly we’d be doing something we’d have done in the past. Like Hunk hugging me.”

He watched nervously as some sort of struggle took place in Keith’s heard.

“So what did we do?” Lance asked, “What do we do?”

Keith looked down at the floor almost sadly and Lance suddenly wanted to smack him. Smack the sadness out of him. He might not know much, but he knew Keith didn’t deserve whatever was bothering him. Or do anything. He wanted to hug Keith, kiss him, tell him everything was okay. He wanted to protect Keith.

Keith sighed and Lance was forced from his thoughts. “I guess we just joked around and stuff. I don’t really know,” he murmured rubbing his arm unsurely. Cute. Everything he did was cute. He wishes he could grab his hand and reassure him that no matter what Lance would stay by his side. Then he wanted to slap himself. His mind was foggy and there was a slight second of nausea before Keith continued, “It was all really natural and random. We didn’t just do something.”

Lance pulled himself from whatever force was trying to make him get closer to the red paladin. “Oh, that makes this slightly harder.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Keith shrugged, wearing a guilty expression like this was somehow his fault. Lance was really hot, sweat making his back chilly and he felt like his insides were just moving around too fast. He couldn’t take it anymore. He took a step forward, so close he could touch Keith’s nose if he wanted to. Instead, he took one hand and cupped Keith’s face.

Surprise took over Keith’s face and his body locked up and relaxed into his touch before worry overrode that emotion. “Lance,” he said, voice slightly panicked, “Are you okay? Your hand is really, really warm.”

“I’m fine,” he assured, “I’ve been treated to all sicknesses here.”

“Still—”

“It’s alright,” he said, voice steady.

Keith wasn’t convinced. He opened his mouth to say something else but it wasn’t his voice Lance heard next.

“What’s going on?”

Lance turned around and that nausea returned as he met another pair of purple eyes.

“Acri?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again! I can't tell you how surprised I am to have stuck to my schedule for more than two weeks. And I'm posting early. And I already have the next chapter written. If it wasn't for some stupid math project, I'd probably finish the whole thing today. But I don't have that much time, unfortunately. But here you go, the next chapter is one of the first chapters I actually thought out and it's the beginning of the end. Gonna be honest I'm going to be a little sad when this ends. It's been one of the most consistent things in my life as of late. *Dramatic sigh* Well hope you enjoyed the chapter<3


	34. Come on, Keith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets in a fight. Lance regains some happy and not so happy memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

Guilt rushed through him. You’ll have to tell him eventually, soon. Bile rose in his throat and he pulled away from Keith completely, his hand almost searing. Usually, he would’ve come up with a reason. But there was no reason was there? He just needed to touch Keith at that moment and couldn’t stop himself. That wasn’t a reason, it was an excuse. He was suddenly really tired, maybe the longer days were taking a toll on him or something.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Keith insisted, “I think something is wrong.”

That confused him. What did it look like? And what was wrong? Oh great, Lance had overstepped his boundaries to the point where Keith thought something was wrong with him. It wasn’t the most unlikely situation.

For a second, Acrijwim’s attention was caught. But then it was caught again. By the necklace that was hanging freely around his neck. With a serious frown, he stepped closer to Lance. Keith crossed his arms and watched sullenly as the Ven lifted the charm from his chest. He really wanted to step back but that was rude and he could hurt Acri’s feelings.

“This is a courting necklace,” he stated, something in his voice that Lance immediately decided he didn’t like. His bad feeling stirred as if to say whatever was going to happen, was just beginning.

“It is?” he wondered, feigning surprise even though the words from Tulefik were branded into his mind. His boyfriend didn’t need to know about some soulmate jewelry that wasn’t linked between Lance and him, but Lance and someone else.

“Where’d you get it?”

He should’ve known that the truth would make Acrijwim angry. It was obvious, really. Who wouldn’t be mad that someone was trying to court the one he was courting. But this didn’t occur to him as he pointed to Keith. He just really wanted Acrijwim’s hands to get farther from his face. They were making him sick.

Keith shot him a look before Acrijwim finally moved away from Lance. He held in a sigh of relief and visibly relaxed, though his source of discomfort didn’t notice. His attention was now on the red paladin. And it wasn’t good attention.

“You attempted to court my mate-to-be.” Somehow it sounded more like a threat than a question.

For reasons unknown to Lance, Keith didn’t just tell him that he didn’t mean it that way. Instead is gaze hardened and he met Acrijwim’s burning eyes with a rivaling intensity. “He’s not just your mate-to-be. That’s something for him to decide.”

“Oh?” They were getting closer to each other but it wasn’t the way Lance had approached Keith or Acrijwim had neared Lance. Their steps were slow and deliberate, aggressive in a silent way. It hurt his head to watch and he knew this wasn’t going to lead anywhere good. But his brain was getting muddier and he didn’t know what to do.

“Yep,” Keith replied, “Lance is a free person. What he chooses is up to him?”

“Don’t you mean who?”

Keith’s stone expression faltered, “What do you mean?”

“You like him, don’t you?” Acrijwim moved closer, Keith not doing the same. Suddenly their equal heights seemed to shift. Those stormy, violet eyes shot to Lance, who was merely standing there, nothing making any sense to him.

Acrijwim took his silence as an answer. And not the answer he preferred. Another step and he was gripping onto the paladin’s undersuit. “Stay away from him.”

That caused Keith to jerk his head away from the stunned boy, his teeth bared, “Excuse me?”

“I said,” Acrijwim enunciated, “Stay. Away. From. Lance.”

“There is nothing in this universe that will ever take me from him again,” he claimed, “Only his choice will. Nothing else. Especially not a jerk like you.”

He doesn’t know what he expected but when the first punch was thrown, he was completely shocked. He mentally tried to wave away the fog in his head. Finally, he was clear headed when he saw a bit of red hit the white of Keith’s armor. Red. His favorite color. Not that red. Never that red.

“Stop,” he said. They didn’t listen to him. He tried again. They just kept fighting.

He finally had enough and forcefully separated the two. Acrijwim ended up on the ground with dirt on his face and Keith’s arm was being gripped tightly by Lance.

“There is absolutely no reason to fight.”

“Bu—”

“No,” he cut Acrjwim off, “You do not own me, Acri. And Keith I can stand up for myself. Had you two let me talk I would’ve…”

A throb went through his head interrupting his train of thought. He winced and his grip loosened, alerting Keith.

“Lance?”

He didn’t reply, instead falling to his knees.

“Lance!” Keith made sure he didn’t fully drop to his face. Feud forgotten, Acrijwim rushed to Keith’s side, feeling Lance’s forehead.

“He’s burning up.”

“I told you something was wrong.”

Lance looked up and met Keith’s frantic stare before the world went dark.

<^>

He and Keith were on the floor of some room, laughing.

“Come on, Keith!” Lance wheezed, “You can’t be serious.”

“Leave me alone!” He swiped at Lance but he rolled away just n time to avoid Keith’s hand.

“Your best friend was a lizard.”

“Yes,” Keith pouted, “And he was better than you could ever be.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Completely.”

“Could the lizard do this?” Lance leaned over Keith and gave him a peck on the cheek. He smirked as Keith’s face flushed a brilliant red, rivaling the shade of a firetruck. His heart raced as Keith spluttered and smacked at his face.

“He could in fact,” Keith finally said, “And it was much better.”

“Hmm.” He smiled brightly as Keith felt his cheek. He was not prepared for Keith to chase him around the room.

“How about we see how cool you act when someone kisses you on the cheek?”

“Are you volunteering?”

“Shut up, McClain!”

<^>

He blinked, an odd sense of deja vu nagging him. Then he remembered that he was supposed to be catching up to Keith. Keith, who was very well ahead of him. He ran until he was beside his friend, who was doing everything to avoid looking at the teen beside him.

“Come on, Keith!” Lance whined grabbing onto the other’s arm. “What are you doing? Why are you dressed like that?”

“None of your business, Lance.” Keith tore his arm from his hold. “Leave me alone.”

“You never want your best friend to leave your side.”

The red paladin rolled his rather sad eyes but didn’t deny anything.

“Seriously, what’s going on? Is Shiro sending you on some special mission? I won't tell anyone.” He kept the idea of Shiro picking Keith again for some important task from hurting him. Right now he needed to focus on Keith, who obviously wasn’t in a very good state right now.

“Shiro doesn’t know what I’m doing.”

“And what are you doing?” Lance pried, anxiety squirming to life as they entered a hangar of several small but efficient pods.

“Leaving,” Keith said as if it were as simple as eating breakfast or going to sleep. The answer was unsatisfactory, leaving too many questions.

“Um, when are you coming back?”

“Never.”

Lance choked and let out a laugh, “No seriously.”

“Seriously. Voltron doesn’t need a Galra paladin. Especially not one as terrible as me.”

“There are so many things wrong with that sentence.”

“Yeah, me.”

“No,” Lance groaned, “You’re a great paladin and what does it matter that you’re part Galra?”

“Allura hates me, and probably so does everyone else.”

“That’s so not true. Everyone loves you. Allura just needs to get used to the idea.”

“She shouldn’t have to. I come from a race that destroyed her entire world, it’d make sense if she didn’t like me.”

“You’re not the people who destroyed her planet. You’re just Keith, a lovable dork who’s also incredibly heroic and awesome.”

Usually, Keith would’ve smiled fondly and denied Lance even though he was agreeing. This time he just gave Lance a side glance and threw a bag into one of the pods.

“Come on, Mullet. Don’t leave us.”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“We love you. We’ll miss you,” Lance frowned, “I’ll miss you.”

“You’ll do just fine without me.”

“What kind of terrible person am I to make my best friend leave me?” Lance joked even as his voice cracked and his throat clogged up.

Keith threw him a confused look before jumping into the pod, checking all the supplies and buttons. “Hunk would never leave you. And you’re not a terrible person.”

“I was talking about you, idiot.”

Keith paused his eyes widening and mouth twitching. Lance waited to see some sort of emotion slip past his mask. He was always good at catching those. But Keith’s face just hardened even more and looked Lance dead in the eye.

“I was never your best friend.”

The words hit him like a slap from his Mama. Except Mama’s slaps came from love while the words just came from nothing but the truth. He fell silent, face probably moving randomly. “Oh,” he said softly. He crossed his arms and decided even as hurtful as Keith was being, he wasn't giving up. Keith was going to stay here no matter what it took.

“Don’t lie to yourself, samurai. We’re great buds,” he lied, not so sure of that anymore. “It’s alright to be scared. We’re here for you. We’d never make you feel left out. Everything would just go back to normal. Unless you grow ears, that’d be a little odd. But we will never make you feel any different or special in a bad way because your mom wasn’t human. I would never do that. I’m your friend and it’ll always stay that way.”

Keith glared at the controls and he could see the way his hands gripped tighter onto the steering system. “Lance,” he growled, “Get it through your thick skull. I couldn’t care less if you stopped liking me. We’re not friends.”

His face dropped and this time he didn’t even try filtering what Keith said. He just let it slowly sink into his heart. Everything they had gone through, all the laughs they shared, the stories, the secrets...the hugs, it had all been nothing. Of course. What else would it be? Who’d want to be friends with Lance, anyway? Not anyone as kind and good as Keith. His heart swallowed the words up and he ignored the pain it brought him.

“Okay,” he whispered. That made Keith stop focusing on the pod and look at him. Lance didn’t see the automatic regret in his eyes as he studied the hunched over boy. “Okay,” he repeated, louder, “Don’t stay for me. It makes sense that I wouldn’t make you want to stay. But stay for Pidge, for Hunk, for Shiro. Imagine how hurt Pidge would be to lose someone else. Hunk would be heartbroken that you thought he wouldn't miss you. And Shiro, how would Shiro feel watching his close friend, his little brother willingly fly into space, away from him.”

He didn’t bother watching Keith’s reaction. He knew he won. Because those were the words he repeated to himself every time he sat in the false sunshine of Kaltenecker’s room. The reasons he didn’t leave himself. Yeah, sometimes it took more but Keith only needed a little bit. It didn’t matter that he wanted Keith to stay. But it mattered that they did.

He heard feet plop on the metal floor and the swish as the pod shut down and closed.

“Fine, I’ll stay.”

Lance nodded, still avoiding looking at those purple eyes that always made him melt and the unsure tilt of eyebrows that made him want to squish those adorable cheeks. Keith didn’t care about him so he shouldn’t care about him.

When Keith’s footsteps faded he looked at the pod and opened it up again. He jumped in, a sort of indifference building a wall around his heart. He closed the pod and started it up. He could leave right now and Keith wouldn’t care. The rest of them wouldn’t care. He didn’t contribute to the team anyways, or so he thought as the good memories of him and his teammates slipped through his fingers with his tears.

The pod never left that hangar. But something did happen that day. Lance had changed. No, he just accepted what he had been too afraid to accept before. No one besides his family thought of him as more than a random teen who spoke too much. And here, he didn’t have his family. So no one thought of him as more.

He walked into their common room where everyone was laughing and talking. He caught Keith’s gaze and watched with some sort of satisfaction as guilt washed over the boy’s face. Maybe he knew the realization Lance had come to. It didn’t matter, though. Keith didn’t care. No one commented on Lance’s silence that night. Or the next few silent nights. They didn’t notice until there was no Lance, until there was only silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should stop mentioning how surprised I am to be posting. WHAT I WILL MENTION IS I HAVE TWENTY DAYS LEFT OF SCHOOL BEFORE BREAK. HELL YEAH! Still, I have so many tests and stuff during that time ughhh. I have somewhere to be on my next math test and my teacher said I'd just have to come after school the day before. Not too bad, though. Hope you enjoyed this chapter <3


	35. Running Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance runs. Keith and Acrijwim begin a new search. They recruit the girls (and pidge).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

He shot up, tasting salt and metal on his tongue. He touched his face and learned that his nose was bleeding and he had been crying.

“Lance, are you okay?” That voice. The one that had haunted him when he knew nothing. The voice that he remembered haunting him before. That voice that made him both melt and freeze. The voice that used to build him up. The voice that had crushed him.

He didn’t reply. His eyes stared vacantly at his hand, freshly scarred from his little trek in the woods when the paladins had first arrived. The urge to look Keith in the eye and the urge that told him to run were battling within him. If he looked up he’d see those same eyes that had stared at him with nothing. If he ran then he’d probably lose a chance that he never knew he had. There was a faint exchange of words in his ears. The one where he said he was sprinting. Where Keith had told him running had cost him a lot. Could he possibly have been referring to then? Did he regret it all? Had it hurt him to say nearly as much as it hurt Lance to hear?

A warm, gentle hand grabbed his chin and forced him to look up. It was Keith. He probably had only meant to check Lance’s eyes to see if he was really all there at the moment. But he didn’t know how much Lance did not need that at the moment.

Suddenly Lance was thrown into the storm of those eyes. The turmoil of joy and sadness, of wisdom and regret. And it was a shade of purple Lance could never get over. It was then he realized, red wasn’t his favorite color. It was purple. The purple of his mother’s favorite flowers, the purple of Pidge’s “secret” journal, his niece’s little princess dress, his nephew’s stuffed hippo, the color of his sister’s usual scrunchie, he could go on forever and forever. But Keith’s eyes were that exact perfect hue. And he never wanted to see it again.

Flight. In the end, he always chose flight when it came to the most important things. Running had always been so easy with his long legs and tendency to forget the pain in his calves. It was cowardly and horrible, but it was easy. Sometimes doing the hard thing is just too much for a person to handle. Sometimes the hard thing overwhelmed them until they felt like they were drowning in their own emotions and there was no way out.

Panicked adrenaline rushed through his veins and cleared his mind. The throbbing in his head became nearly nonexistent. The ache throughout his body just became energy that thrummed beneath his skin. The taste of the blood in his mouth turned to nothing. He jerked his face from Keith’s hand and shot up, doing what he did best it seemed. Run.

The two lovestruck boys had no chance of catching up to him. They tried their best, crashing through the woods keeping their eyes on the flash of blue that soon disappeared amid the trees. Lance looked back one more time before falling through the branches, leaves swirling around him as he pulled his body into a sitting position against the trunk of the tree. The sky was nearly purple. Too purple. He shut his eyes and wished that maybe he hadn’t decided to run.

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

“Are you kidding me?” Acrijwim shouted into the air, “He ran away again!”

Keith ground his teeth and refrained from punching the Ven in the face. As satisfying as it had been before, it had only hurt Lance.

“If you had never interfered this wouldn’t have happened,” the annoying Ven muttered beneath his breath.

Lance, what do you see in this whiny hunter? “If we had never interfered Lance would have never remembered anything about his past.”

“What would be so bad about that?”

Keith frowned and turned to the Ven. His anger sputtered and gave way to pure confusion when he saw the seriousness on Acrijwim’s face. He seriously believed that Lance never remembering would have been better for the boy. He really didn’t know Lance at all.

“A lot is bad about that,” Keith said, “Did you really know the boy you loved?”

Acrijwim gave a weak glare. “Of course.”

Keith rolled his eyes and continued to the clearing. “Doesn’t seem so. If you really knew him you would know how important his memories would be to him. They may seem to hurt him more than anything but I know he’s willing to pay any price if he can know the faces of the people of love. He’s gone through so much more to protect us and his family. Sometimes I wish he could forget everything too, at least when it came to me. I hurt him. A lot. But I know he wouldn’t care as long as I was okay.

“He used to talk to me a lot about those memories he cherished. Sometimes the random stories about his family were the only thing that brings a smile to his face. Those happy moments, the people he loves, were the only things that kept him going ninety percent of the time. If he didn’t have those, you probably wouldn’t see him today. Especially not wearing that beautiful smile.”

Acrijwim went silent, leaving the only sounds to be the crunching of leaves and their breathing. “You’re right.”

He gripped onto a low hanging branch as hard as he could, catching himself before he could fall. “What?”

“You’re right,” admitted Acrijwim, “I don’t really know him. I might not even love him. I guess I just thought I loved the person who came in and turned my life upside down. I guess I love the person who was all smiles and heroics. But I only loved his surface.” He paused, words ready to spring from his tongue. “He deserves you. You love more than the hero who saved my tribe. You love the teenage boy who cares about his friends and family much more than himself.”

The red paladin froze, letting the truth of the words settle over him. And they were completely true. He loved the boy who had gone on and on about stupid pillow forts and would give money for one of Hunks piggyback rides. Yeah, he loved the boy who had jumped in front of bullets for him, but he also loved the same boy who shot at him with water while cackling more than anything.

“I do,” he whispered with a fond smile on his face. Then he remembered the utter hurt on Lance’s right before hr bolted. It was obvious why. The reason why had haunted Keith every day since Lance had gone missing. Like it was somehow his fault. And some of it was. Even with Lance’s parting words, he believed that Lance hated him, and he had every right to.

“Don’t worry,” Acrijwim said suddenly when they were a few feet away from the clearing.

“About what?”

  
“He loves you. I’m sure of it. That’s why I was such a jerk to you. You were a threat to our relationship. I realize now I was the threat to yours.”

Keith didn’t respond, unsure of how he should.

The first thing they noticed was the incredibly bright glow coming from somewhere in the clearing. The jar. He scrambled into the clearing as fast as he could, going to where the light was the brightest.

There the jar sat, filtering through the satchel’s thin cloth. Unlike the few times, he’s seen it before where it had moved erratically against the glass, the little ball of bright blue floated perfectly in the center of the jar not even sputtering. Right beside it was the picture Lance had briefly shown him, his check-list of sorts.

Keith picked it up carefully and took the chance to look at it closely. It was the picture he had found in the little blanket nest outside Kaltenecker’s stable. Even the date was written on the back in messy blue. Except now he remembered when the picture was taken.

Lance’s birthday. How could he forget such a happy day? It was before they had defeated Zarkon, the constant stress of a Robeast popping up constantly on their shoulders. They told themselves that that day was their day off even though they would’ve dropped their activities the moment someone was in trouble. Miraculously nothing had happened and they had fun on a planet with a bunch of cute creatures and kind inhabitants. Lance had loved telling stories to the little children on the planets and playing with the creatures in the water. The picture had been taken on the castle but Keith felt like he could almost see the planet they were leaving. Lance’s eyes were full of light and joy, as they hadn’t been in so long.

He frowned and gently put it in a pouch attached to his armor’s belt. “I’m sorry, Lance,” Keith whispered, “I should’ve been a better friend.”

“You can always be a better friend,” Acrijwim said, startling Keith. “And when we get Lance back you can apologize for whatever made him look at you with the heartbreak he did.”

Keith nodded. “We need Allura and Strolry, our old plan isn’t going to work,” he stated, embarrassed about his emotional moment and more than ready to move on and find Lance.

He placed the jar in its special bag and put it over his shoulder. Acrijwim began to lead the way to where Allura and Strolty constantly hung out, having become good friends in the time they’ve been here.

They walked in without warning. Just as guessed, Strolry and Allura were there, along with Pidge and Tekvee.

Tekvee moved her head from where it laid in Strolry’s lap. Her eyes narrowed and she scanned the two boys. She would have alerted the others had the jar not done it for her. Pidge had to take off their glasses to look at it without glare.

“What in the Ancients is going on?” Allura demanded, standing up. She managed to look terrifying in unfinished braids and neon pink shorts.   
  
Keith pulled the jar out and held it up for display. The princess’s eyebrows furrowed and she stepped over pillows carefully and gingerly took it from him. Without a word she walked back to her pillow chair and set the jar on her low hanging desk.

She sighed and plopped down, putting a palm to her forehead, worry painted all over her face. “He’s not here.” She looked at Acrijwim and Keith, eyes lingering on their faces. “He hasn’t told you yet. Did he remember Shiro and you?”

“Well, when he came to me he said there were only two people left, but that the second person didn’t matter.”

She rolled her eyes. “So he’s remembered both of you,” she supplied, “And the second person is himself. Of course, he’d disregard that.”

He shared her frown.

“He hid again didn’t he?” Pidge groaned, “I thought I finally stopped him from doing that again.”

“Let me guess,” Tekvee sighed, “We have to find him again.”

“Don’t worry,” Allura said suddenly, “He wouldn’t leave us behind.”

Tekvee and Strolry shared a confused look with Acrijwim but Pidge and Keith understood. Keith especially understood.

“He’d never leave you guys behind,” Keith agreed. He’s been told before when he himself was leaving. He has told Pidge before when they were leaving. Allura was told when she wanted to go directly after Zarkon when she was frustrated. But Lance, he would never leave. Not unless he had no choice. Or forgot why he stayed.

Allura caressed the jar. “Considering the intensity of his quintessence, his body is being greatly affected by magic.” She started unraveling her braids and pulling her hair into a neat bun. “And considering the times that had happened before, he’s susceptible to threats. Possibly even in danger. We have to find him whether he wants us to or not. He’s not safe in this condition. At least not alone.”

“Well, we do what we always do when our friends are in danger,” Keith replied, “We help them, we find them.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much to say this time except I nearly forgot to post and I ran out of chapters already written so hopefully I can find the time to write a new one amidst the birthday parties and family trips which I have a lot of this week. Hope you enjoyed the chapter <3


	36. Swimming With the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Allura come up with a plan. Keith admits some things. Lance dives even deeper into his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: strays_art Enjoy<3

[Keith’s P.O.V]

A boom rang through the air and screams erupted from the city. Keith felt for the photo in his armor and caressed it stressfully. He knew what to expect but his heart still sank to his feet when he looked outside to see Galra ships hanging in the sky.

“Crap.”

“Looks like there’s going to be a change in plans,” Allura sighed, “First priority is the people.”

“What about Lance?” said Keith, “He’s out there all alone with nearly all his memories back. The Galra could capture him and take advantage of his condition, or worse Haggar could put more messed up magic on him.”

Tekvee put an arm on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, the hunters and your paladins will fight the Galra. You and Allura are free to find our missing friend.”

Keith nodded and Allura didn’t object.

The others left the hut, leaving them alone. “So,” Keith began, “How are we gonna do this?”

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

He knew it was coming. The world swam around him and blasts rang through his ear, sending throbs throughout his whole body. He felt extremely sick yet nothing would come out of his mouth. The colors of the trees and sky bled together. He was sure he was hallucinating when he saw Galra ships. He would’ve thought about them more if he hadn’t been pulled down into his head so suddenly.

Suddenly he was drowning. Pure blue surrounded him, so full of life it stung his skin and filled him with too much energy, making him spasm in the liquid. He couldn’t tell the difference between up, down, or any other direction. Light came from everywhere. Where was he? This wasn’t anywhere near Blueren. Had the Galra really been there? Did they take him? Were they torturing him?

He tried his hardest to control his limbs, waving through the liquid trying to find some sort of way out. It was all for not when something began to move him. He didn’t fight, letting whatever it was take him where it pleased.

Violently, he was thrown against a shore with sand so clean and warm he could’ve fallen asleep. He looked around, realizing the sand wasn’t that clean. Not too far from him were drops of red and dark clouds hovered above him, threatening to storm down on him. A random rock threw itself at him, nearly cutting into his arm. The blue that he had thought was so pure seemed to be fighting itself, a nasty purple trying to spread throughout its body.

The place was familiar yet he couldn’t place his finger on it. He swears he’s been here before but nothing else in his head backed it up. He had no memory of this place. Not a bit of it. He could remember the Castle of Lions and many planets he’s visited but this place, there was nothing. Still, he could hear voices from the past drifting through the still yet crackling air.

“Who wants to care about me?”

“I care about you, idiot!”

“I wish I could remember you.”

There’s no way he hasn’t been here before. And someone had been with him. A flash of lightning hit the ground near him and he jumped. The sand it hit began to turn purple, that shade he wanted to avoid so badly. He kicked the pale sand over it, hoping it’d just disappear.

He noticed his feet were small, much smaller than he was used to. He looked at his hands and they were too, a worn down braided bracelet he didn’t recognize hanging from a thin wrist. His memory may not be in the best state but he was sure this body wasn’t his. Unless it was.

He ran to the edge of the blue and looked into it, his reflection staring back. His face was incredibly chubby and his haircut was absolutely terrible, no doubt the handiwork of Veronica. His eyes were incredibly wide and innocent. There was a gap between his teeth. His hands slapped at his cheeks and he frowned at himself.

A hand grabbed his wrist and he jumped back from the weird stuff. “Lance!” a harsh voice shouted, “We’ve called you back hundreds of times. Mama will be angry if you’re soaked at the dinner table.”

He was torn from the little body until he was nothing, a mere spirit watching his younger self.

The little boy chuckled nervously and clumsily ran after his sister. He fell several times trying to keep up with his at the time short legs. Veronica helped him sneak to the second story of their rickety but cozy house without Mama noticing. She plopped him down on Rachel’s and Lance’s bed and rummaged through his drawers, throwing an outfit at him.

“Hurry up and get dressed, dinner is almost ready.”

The little boy thanked his sister and threw on the clothes hastily, not realizing his t-shirt was on backward. The little boy glared at himself in a full-length mirror, wiggling a loose tooth. He was ready to skip out the room when he paused, looking back at the messy bed he had been sitting on. Lance noticed two stuffed animals on it, a pink and purple hippo. His spirit recoiled from the purple toy as the younger him grabbed it and stuffed it in the front of his shirt, or back. For some reason he couldn’t follow the boy to the dinner table, stuck in the room.

He positioned himself in the center of the room, spinning around slowly, taking in everything. The little shark thrown on the ground, the small navy, knitted blanket, the overflowing chest of toys, the dresser covered in bubbles and sea creatures, and the lone rocket ship sitting on their end table. His tio had given him the shark and his Abuela knitted the blanket. Sitting at the bottom of the toy bin there were broken shells and sea glass. Rachel had painted the dresser by herself with a terrible application of red on her lips. How did he know these things? They were apart of his childhood, a part of him. He floated over to the rocketship and touched it. It seemed to suck in the room leaving an entirely different scene.

“Papa!”

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

“Are you sure that’s the only way?”

“Yes, Keith,” Allura insisted, “It’s the fastest way to get him before something dangerous happens. Plus it’ll be easier to take out the Galra.”

“But what if we attract even more Galra?”

“Then we’ll fight them off with the hunters’ help,” she stated, “Venellmet is anything but defenseless. I bet they’re hiding their own battleships somewhere around here for dire emergencies. With Strolry’s magic and Tekvee’s technological skills, how could they not?”

“True,” Keith admitted, “Bringing them out just makes me nervous for some reason. Uneasy”

Allura paused and looked at him, examining his face and body language.

“I think,” she said, turning away, “That you’re afraid to find him. Don’t get me wrong I know you want him safe more than anything. You’re scared because he remembers everything between you now. He remembers every mistake you made that you regret terribly. The boy you love knows who you are now, knows your past, and it terrifies you. Why?”

He shriveled internally at the utter accuracy of her words. He was scared. Incredibly so. He still remembers the look in Lance’s eyes when he had come back to reality just a little while ago. Even though it had been months, he could still remember the hurt all over Lance that he had caused that day by the escape pod.

“Because I hurt him. I hurt everyone I love and push them away until there’s no one left to love. I’m afraid he’ll finally stop pulling me back. That he’ll realize what a screw up I really am and leave just like everyone else. Give up on me. Turn his head the other way. All because I’m an idiot who can’t realize what good is in front of him.”

The Altean princess frowned to herself, “I think that’s a discussion you need to have with him.”

Keith composed himself and forced his focus on what was ahead. “So your magical sense is how we’re going to find the lions’ hiding place right?”

“Yep.”

“How close are we.”

“Far, but not too far.”

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

He felt what was left of his older conscience fade, fade into the little boy before him. He was young again, without a care in the world. He didn’t know anything yet. He was too innocent. Too isolated from the real world. But he was happy and content, unprepared but ready for anything. Lance relished in the feeling before he didn’t feel anything but. And then he forgot about everything else.

A splash of water hit his head and he spluttered, instantly shutting his eyes and unsuccessfully guarding his face. “Papa!” he shouted tilting dangerously over the edge of the boat, “Stop, I’m gonna fall!”

Papa laughed and pulled the boy from the water’s surface. “Wouldn’t want that to happen. Anyways I think it’s time we settle.”

Lance’s eyes immediately brightened and he held his arms out for the bucket of heavy rocks connected by a rope that was their makeshift anchor. Gently his Papa set it into his hands and he gently lowered it into the sea.

Papa made sure he could still see the lights of their house before fully resting. This was a tradition of theirs. While he and Luis played sports and he and Marco built, Lance and him, they watched the sky. Sometimes they’d go during daytime and make shapes of the clouds but Lance’s favorite time to go at was night when you really couldn’t tell the difference between the sky and its reflection. He felt like he was swimming with stars and it filled him with a thrill, unlike nothing he’s ever felt.

“You remembered the backpack right?”

The little blue-eyed boy nodded excitedly and pulled a large worn down backpack from beneath is paddle boat seat. Eagerly he unzipped it and pulled out soft blankets and a toy rocket ship.

“Where’d you get that from?” Papa asked while arranging the blankets comfortably over the seats. He laid down and watched fondly as Lance waved the rocketship through the air.

“Tía Lizeth gave it to me today. She says she’s seen the real life thing before. Isn’t that cool?”

“Very.”

“She told me that it goes up into space and actually swims with the stars. She said she can’t go that high but people can. It’s awesome.”

“Sure is, mijo.”

He finally calmed down and joined his dad on the blankets, looking up at the sky. He tried to count the stars but stopped, there were way too many. They were so beautiful, he just wanted to reach up and touch one. Instead, he leaned over the boat and stared at his reflection. If it weren’t for the slight ripples, he could’ve imagined himself actually being in space, seeing those stars up close, in awe of their fiery beauty. Feeling the excitement of flying around in a ship like his Tía’s. Maybe he could save people like her too. He could fly around and shoot at bad guys and keep people from getting hurt.

“Papa?”

“Yes?”

“I want to be like Tía, I wanna fly in the sky and be a hero. Can I?”

“You can be anything you want to.”

The water and boat disappeared, replaced by the walls of his house. Except they weren’t as bright and cheerful. They carried silent sobs and forced reassurances. Rachel held him tightly as Luis read the letter with a shaky voice.

“I regret to inform you that Lizeth McClain-Sanchez has died. She was a hero and wonderful person until the very end. We give you our deepest condolences and best wishes for the future. It...It…” He stopped his tears soaking the paper.

That was the moment Lance officially decided that he was going to follow his Tía’s footsteps. He was going to be a hero and save lives. Whether he was on Earth or not, he was going to be a hero just like her.   
He sucked in his tears and carefully unwrapped Rachel’s arms, subtly turning her to where Marco and Veronica sat. He ran to Luis and wrapped his arms around his brother’s waist. With a watery grin, he looked up. “Everything's going to be okay. She would want us to remember her happily. She’s watching us. She’s loving us. She’s as Mama said, swimming with the stars.“

The little toy rocket beside his bed was never treated as a toy again. It was a memory, a reminder that his aunt sacrificed her life for the greater good. The drive for him to do what she did. His spirit caressed the plastic, invisible tears falling through the ground. “I’m sorry I forgot, Tía.”

He felt her presence embrace him lovingly. With a smile, he watched as his surroundings dissipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize I only have one more week left of school, HELL YEAH. Still have finals though. sighhhh. Hope you enjoyed the chapter<3


	37. Broken Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just going further up Lance's timeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: poppybirb Enjoy<3

[Allura’s P.O.V.]

“How much longer?” Keith asked for possibly the hundredth time anxiously looking up at the faraway Galra ships.

“I couldn't possibly tell you,” Allura forced, keeping her patience with the panicked boy, hoping he wouldn’t be stricken with the “anxiety attacks” Lance had told her about which Allura has never experienced but was sure they existed as something different on Altea.

The Lions’ presence flickered within her and she mentally slapped herself. Now was not the time to let her thoughts wander. The Galra were here. The planet was in danger. Lance was in danger. They needed the lions. They needed Blue and for her they needed Lance. And if the Galra captured Lance that was a mind full of information captured. And that was a friend lost. Who knows what mess was left of the empire could do with vulnerable defenders of the universe?

She felt the invisible rope that bound her and the lions tighten. She gasped.

“What?”

Allura looked up at her human friend with a happy smirk. “The lions are calling me. They are ready to leave their hiding places.”

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

He was back in the blue. Now it was darker and he was surrounded by stars. Not actual stars. But little twinkling lights that he had imagined as a little kid. There was something flat keeping him standing instead of falling as he had before. It was so quiet he could hear the nothingness. A small meow cut through the darkness startling him. He turned and looked down.

A cat stared up at him with expectant blue eyes. They pierced through his soul and Lance had a feeling this cat knew more than him. With nothing else to do he sat down on whatever force keeping him afloat. The cat automatically jumped in his lap and butted its head against his arm.

“Aren’t you a pretty little thing,” he coed running his fingers through the cat’s large coat of fur. She purred and curled up comfortably within his arms.

“What are you doing here?”

She looked up at him and he swears she smiled. She unfurled and laid a paw on his arm all while looking into his eyes. Her mouth opened but a meow didn’t come out. “Hurry, young one. Your friends are waiting. But do not rush. You must know yourself before returning to them.”

He stared at her dumbstruck. With an innocent meow, she leaped off his lap and ran into the distance. With a yelp, he was being sucked into a void of nothing. Or so he thought.

When he opened his eyes he was no longer surrounded by darkness. His legs itched from the dry grass caressing his skin and the back of his shirt rubbed against bark. Instead of silence so prominent, it rang through his ears he heard the humming of many voices and cheerful shouts. There was a book in his hands. The words blurred, his memory not sharp enough to recreate them.

“Lance!” His head shot up.

Rachel stood in front of him, panting and bent over. She looked about nine or ten, her curly hair recovering from another one of Veronica’s terrible attempts at cutting hair. He didn’t want to see his own hair, curls touching the tips of his ears unevenly.

  
“Hey, Rach.” He winced at his voice, having not yet hit puberty but still approaching it, his voice sounding like nails against a chalkboard.

“Whatcha doing?” she asked.

He gestured to the book, “Studying. The Garrison applications are due soon. I have to pass.”

Rachel’s face fell. “Why do you want to go so bad? You’ll be leaving us. I’ll be all alone.”

Lance laughed ruefully and glanced at her large group of friends. There would never be that number of people who could tolerate him. “We both know I’m the only one gonna be alone.”

Rachel frowned but didn’t deny, playing with a braided friendship bracelet on her wrist.

Lance sighed, “Rach, this is my dream. I’ve got to be in the sky. It’s too small down here, too constricting. I’ve got to be up there, helping people.”

“And what if you go even farther up?”

Lance furrowed his brows and looked at his twin. “What do you mean?”

She hugged her knees to her chest and studied her toenail polish. “What if you become a star, like Tia Lizeth?”

He went quiet, eyes burning. He didn’t want to join Tia. He was going to be honest there. He wanted to live just as much as the next person. But he also couldn’t lie and say he wouldn’t give up his life in an instant to save someone else’s. He set his book aside and brought his sister’s head into his lap, messing with the strands of her hair idly.

“If I become a star? I don’t know what would happen then. But I know that I will do everything in my power to see you again, to see you safe. This is my dream and to be honest I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get accepted. But you know you’re more important than any dream. More important to me than anyone else out there. And that I’ll never forget that. Right?”

Rachel smiled grabbing his hand and squeezing it. “Yeah.”

“Than you’re my first priority. And if I join her then I’ll be watching you until you join me. I’ll wait for forever for my sister. I’ll wait forever for Veronica and Luis, Marco, Mama, and Papa. But that’s not going to happen. And you’re not going to leave me either. Got it?”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Got it, nerd. Now let go of me before my friends come over.”

“What, you embarrassed of your incredible brother?” Lance pulled her into a bear hug, squeezing the breath out of her. She cried out and slapped at his arms. Pulling away, she ran. He didn’t bother chasing her, watching with a sad smile that was much older than he.

“I will see you again, Rach.”

The scene changed again and he was back in the room he shared with Rachel. Unlike before he was sitting on a twin bed, the large bed Rachel and he had shared given to Veronica. He had the same book in his hand, though now it was shut the yellow cover screaming at him.

His fingers shook around it, his heart beating fast as he watched the mailing truck pass his their mailbox out the window. He knew his panic was getting out of control but he didn’t know how to control it. He didn’t want to bother his siblings. He’d do that after. For some reason he reached for his neck, both surprised and not when he clasped nothing. He didn’t own any necklaces. Or at least any he had worn in years. The bedroom door slammed open and he jumped, dropping his book.

Veronica stood at the door sheepishly, a pale envelope in her hand. “Sorry,” she said unconvincingly. Quietly she shut the door and practically skipped over to Lance, holding out the envelope gingerly like it was a bomb that could go off at any moment.

He took it with the same care and stared at it, afraid to rip the sail, eyes scanning the sender's name over and over again. The Galaxy Garrison.

Veronica sat beside him and set a hand on his shoulder encouragingly.

“What if I didn't get in, V?”

“Then you can try again,” she stated simply, “You can get in at any age, remember? And if you never get in, you can do something else. If it’s not meant for then it’s not. I bet you could find something else that calls you just as much as the stars. You can do anything, Lancey. I’m sure of it. And if they don’t accept you, then they’re idiots. They’ll never find anyone as hard working as you.”

He smiled, leaning into his big sister as he slowly opened the envelope. He pulled the paper out without opening it, setting the broken holder beside him. He was stalling and they both knew it. Veronica groaned and ripped the paper from him.

“Hey!”

She pushed him away, unfolding the letter. Lance let her read it, realizing it might be for the best. He didn’t miss the way her eyes lit up, letting his hopes soar. By the time she was finished his palms were sweating like crazy and his breathing was somewhat labored even though he hadn’t done anything but sit there.

She took a deep breath, folding the paper dramatically and setting it on his night drawer. She stood up, looked Lance in the eye and shrieked. He froze in her sudden grip, not sure if the words she was repeating were really true.

“You got in! You did it, Lancey! You got in!”

Finally, he let it click. His mind seemed to explode and he began to scream with Veronica. “I got in! I really did it!”

He hugged her back, spinning her around a few times until she told him he was starting to get annoying.

“Thank you, V,” he said into her hair (nicely cut thanks to Mama.)

“For what? You did this all by yourself.”

“You're the only one who believed in me to the fullest peak. You’re the greatest big sister ever.”

She laughed, “Anything for my little annoyance. And who knows, maybe one day I’ll join you on the field. Just promise me you’ll remember who your greatest sister is when you're rich.”

“Promise, and hopefully you won't be taking care of me out there. I’d die.”

“Shut up. Just because I suck at cutting hair doesn’t mean anything.” She slapped him and they ended up in a wrestling match.

“I went way past your field,” he said to himself as the scene shifted again.

His arms now protested him as he struggled to carry a bag to the trunk of his family’s dirt-covered SUV.

“Let me help you with that.” Marco grabbed the bag and threw it in like it was no big deal even though his arms were just as skinny as Lance’s, despite being years older.

“I could’ve done that myself.” Lance lied, wiping sweat from his head.

Marco leaned against the car and raised an eyebrow. “Just thank your best bro for being awesome and helping you with everything.”

“There is no way in hell.”

Marco gasped. “Did you just curse? I should tell Mama so she can bring the sandal out one more time before you leave.”

Lance glared at him. “I’ve heard you say much worse.”

Marco smirked. “I’m just kidding, gosh take a joke.”

Lance rolled his eyes, resisting the urge to smile at his brother’s ridiculousness. Despite how frustrating it was, he was going to miss it when he was away.

“Come here.”

Lance tilted his head suspiciously. “Like I’d listen to you.”

“Just come here.”

With a sigh, Lance listened, hesitantly stepping in front of his brother. Abruptly he was pulled into an awkward hug, his head being shoved into the ribcage of his brother.

“I’m gonna miss you, Lancey.”

“Stop calling me that,” Lance groaned, reluctantly letting his brother’s arms surround him.

“I’m serious. You’re the baby of the house. Rachel doesn’t count, I’m pretty sure she has a secret boyfriend. We love you. I love you.”

Finally giving into the feels, Lance hugged his brother back. “I love you too.”

Pulling away his brother pulled something out of his pocket. “Here. Don’t get hurt. Don’t get into anything bad. And make sure to remember me when you become a famous fighter pilot.”

The thing he had put into Lance’s hand was a small wooden carving of a paddle boat. The paddle boat looked nearly identical to theirs. Each family member had special memories with that boat. He and Marco used to always sneak away on that boat when they weren’t supposed to with sodas and forms of entertainment that evolved through the years. They hadn’t taken one of those trips since Lance got his letter, being too busy getting ready to move. Making sure there were no tears in his eyes he put the little boat into his pocket carefully.

“Papa helped me make it. Thought it was perfect for us. Though maybe a soda can would’ve held the same memories.”

Lance smiled, this time initiating the hug. They stayed like that until Mama came out and sadly pulled them apart. With one last farewell to each of his family members, he sat in the passenger seat of the car, his mom joining him.

“Sorry for breaking my promise, Marco.”

His mom looked at him. There were no tears yet but he knew that would change when they reached the airport. “All buckled?”

He made sure she heard the click of the seatbelt and then nodded. His eyes glued themselves to the window as Mama pulled out of the driveway. Thankfully she didn’t comment as tears streamed down his face. She couldn’t comment as invisible tears ran down his spirit’s face

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished writing this yesterday. I'm posting it now as a form of procrastination. I have my math final tomorrow and I have not studied for it at all today. I'm screwed but oh well. If I fail I still pass the grade. And you get a chapter a bit earlier than usual. Not really. I got a kalimba and I've been perfecting Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I'm slowly spiraling into madness. Wish me luck <3


	38. A Kitten's Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Allura find the lions. Past Lance finally makes it to the Garrison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: poppybirb Enjoy<3

[Allura’s P.O.V.]

“Why can’t the lions just fly themselves to us?” Keith asked. Allura could tell he was trying to make his voice sound slightly irritated and nonchalant but he was failing incredibly. Instead, it cracked here and there, letting his panic flood through.

“We are in an incredibly dense forest and they are not with the castle. The lions can fly themselves perfectly well but they are much jerkier and less agile, unfit for such small spaces alone. If they could fly themselves that amazingly then there’d be no use for a pilot at all. But that is beside the point. It takes a great emergency to make a lion go after its paladin.”

“Doesn’t this count as a big enough emergency?”

“That’s why I have not panicked yet. If Blue isn’t rushing to make herself known, then Lance must be alright as of the moment. We must have patience, Keith.”

Keith sighed but nodded, moving branches out of the way. He frowned slightly, wiping sweat from his brow. “It’s getting warmer. I can feel Red. We’re close.”

[Lance’s P.O.V]

When Lance had imagined going to the garrison, he had imagined nothing but celebration. The car ride to the airport threw that fantasy to the wind. The silence between Mama and he hadn’t been awkward. No, it had been busy with thoughts.

Lance’s head was up and down, left and right. He was happy, he was sad, he didn’t know what to be. A mixture of sadness and pride radiated off of his mama.

When they finally reached the airport, Lance realized he had preferred the odd silence. What came next was inevitable. Tears.

It was fine at first.

“We’re here, mijo!”

He jumped up and down in his seat, eyeing the lined up planes and rushing figures. Outside of the car, it was hot and dry but he didn't care. He half wanted to just hop on his flight and never turn back. Then he turned around and his Mama was standing in front of the car, holding his single suitcase and passport. On her face was a small, sad smile. He had never hated a smile more.

Who knew the next time he’d sit in that red, rusted car again, squished between his siblings as they all burst into an obnoxious chorus? The next time he’d spray Papa with a hose as they washed it. The next time Luis tried to steal it with him in the back. The next time he’d sneak to the nearest store with Mama and eat ice cream without anyone else.

Mama. Tears were now dripping down her cheeks. Lance didn’t have to feel his face to know he had joined her. She set down stuff carefully and held out two arms. He didn’t hesitate to throw himself into those arms, letting himself be her little baby again for another minute. He was jealous of himself for being able to hug her so easily. Now he was light years away from her loving grip that had him melting easier than Keith’s smile.

“I’m going to miss you, my baby. So so much. It’s gonna be forever ‘til I next see you. How will I survive so long without your amazing braiding?” Mama sobbed.

Lance gave her a watery smile. “It’s only going to be a year,” he said even though it felt just like forever to him. “And Rachel can transfer her friendship bracelet skills to your hair.”

Mama smiled, a happier one this time. “We both know her artistic skills don’t lie with braiding, carino.”

He let out a little laugh that didn’t quite sound real. They both stood there for a moment, so much to say yet no words able to express how he felt. He wished he could stay with her for just another hour before going away. He was going to miss her more than words could describe. So he gave her one last hug and together they walked into the airport.

The current him sort of wanted to laugh at how he was worried about not seeing Mama for a year when it’s probably been longer than that since the last time he talked to her. Then he wanted to curl up and cry. But that didn’t differ much for the tween Lance, who gripped his passport as if it had offended him.

Then he was in line, about to board the flying piece of metal. He had just handed the attendant the ticket when Mama lifted him up in her arms again as if he didn’t weigh more than a feather. She whispered into his ears with love so pure it made Lance feel warm inside, “Remember, carino, you can’t save lives if you don’t have one. You are your first priority.”

He looked back at her until he couldn’t see her anymore.

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

He nearly missed the lions with how well hidden they were. If it weren’t his connection with Red he definitely would have. He called out to Allura the moment he spotted a flash of colored metal. They uncovered Red and Blue when Keith came up with a plan.

“Allura, do you think you can fly a lion?”

She looked at him with obvious confusion. “What?”

Keith pressed his forehead against Red. “I have a connection with Blue. I can ride her to find Lance. Red will let you pilot her so that you can help the other lions fly themselves to their paladins. This way we can still fight the Galra while finding Lance.”

Allura chewed on her lip, unsure if this was the right thing to do. Finally, she nodded and straightened, walked up to Red. She laid a gentle hand on the lion’s surface, eyes widening at the sudden rumble that went through the ground.

“Would you let me sit in your seat in this time of need?” she asked politely. Her face rivaled a star when Red slowly opened her mouth, welcoming the princess. “I never thought I’d see the day when I could share such an experience with my father. Such an honor,” she whispered to herself, venturing further into the sentient ship.

Keith hurried to Blue, feeling for that little connection she had offered him days ago on the moon, the closest he’s been to Earth in months, farther from Lance than he had been in years. With a startled gasp he felt her soothing cold cancel out Red’s energetic warmth.

_Hello again, paladin of Red._

“Hello?” he greeted uncertainly. He swore he could hear Blue laugh, a playful yet reassuring purr that reminded him so much of Lance.

_No need to be nervous, if you are worthy of my kitten, then you are worthy of me._

Keith noted her way of calling Lance, wondering if that’s how Red referred to him. That same light purr was heard again in the back of his mind.

_The red lion is not as affectionate as I. Whereas Lance is my kitten, you are her idiot._

Keith snorted, the somewhat insulting nickname fitting from Red. His amusement faded quickly, his urgency to find the stupid blue paladin flaring.

_Don’t worry, I’m as concerned as you are. He is not in the best place mentally but we can do nothing of that in his current state. Physically, he is perfectly fine, though we must get to him as soon as possible. There are too many unwanted paths we could wander if we don’t._

Keith agreed with that last part completely, running into Blue’s now open mouth. We’re coming, Lance.

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

America was very different from Cuba. The Garrison buildings were more plain and sharp like everywhere you looked there was a hospital look alike. The food was so much more bland, lacking to flavor Lance craved. But the difference that bothered him the most were the people. Or maybe it was just the lack of the people he loved. He spoke English just fine, he had been taught it along with Spanish. He had thought that’d be his only problem with the other kids. But there were so much more standards than he had anticipated. It was different from his other school. And at his other school, he had the help of Rachel.

No one liked him. They avoided him. He didn’t even want to speak to his roommate, afraid he’d only be rejected by the person living with him for the next seven years of his life. It took him a couple of months before he actually made any friends. And making friends probably hurt more than not having them. Because with them, he wasn’t him. He didn’t really know who he was. He recognized Luis’s smile the moment he wore it and Rachel’s spunk the moment he channeled it. He recognized Veronica’s coyness the moment he made his first witty comment and Marco’s easy going nature. It was the parts he loved about each of them. But with him, the aspects felt all wrong like puzzle pieces that fit together but didn’t make a picture. But that was the only version of him people seemed to care about.

That was until he actually took the time to get to know his roommate. The one he had been scared of from day one.

His roommate was out for some reason. A large boy that reminded him of a marshmallow with the name of Hunk. He made sure not to get close to Hunk, wary of how the boy would think about him if he knew the real Lance. Lance preferred him being annoyed by the fake him than disgusted by the real him.

He was sitting there doing homework, desperate for help when he thought of how Veronica had always taken the time to go over a lesson with him. Then the memories just flooded his mind and there were drips on the paper before him. The door swished open and he froze, panic piercing his stomach. Hastily he wiped away his tears and kept his head down. But the brown boy had already noticed.

“Are you alright?” he asked, voice softer than was alright with Lance.

“Just peachy, how about you worry about you?” Lance asked the snap in his voice broken by the pathetic sniff he let out.

Hunk was too nosy for his own good, sitting down on Lance’s bed, crossing the little line between their sides of the room.

“Oi! Does this look like your bed?” Lance shouted, retracting his feet from where Hunk sat.

“I can tell you’re not alright. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m perfectly fine.”

“I’m giving you a hug,” Hunk warned before getting closer to Lance.

He shrieked throwing his homework to the floor. “I said I’m good, Jesus!”

In the end, Hunk captured him, holding the squirming boy in his arms like he was a loved younger sibling. Lance fought for a little bit before realized Hunk felt like Marco. They were completely different but the kindness in their embraces was similar. And he couldn’t handle it. He leaned into Hunk and cried

He learned that day, true friends cared about who you truly were, quirks and weaknesses and all. Since then, Hunk has been his best friend, outlasting several other Garrison students. And for good reason. He also outlasted several crushes. Including one that switched on and off like a light switch.

“Keith! Again! I had studied so hard,” Lance shouted slumping against Hunk’s side.

“Hey, you got third highest scores. That’s amazing. You can brag to Rachel tonight with the garlic rolls I stole from the cafeteria,” Hunk offered, patting his friend’s shoulder. He caught sight of familiar black hair. “In fact,” he squeaked, “Let’s go right now!”

But it was too late. Keith stood before them, studying the paper of scores with disinterest, even as he saw his name at the very top.

Lance pushed himself off of Hunk, his shoulders tensing. Hunk watched as an obnoxious expression took hold of the boy’s face, knowing the true Lance had been buried down.

“Excuse me!”

Keith’s odd colored eyes lazily found Lance, annoying said boy even more. “Yes?”

“What’s your trick? There’s no way you could pass the test with such high scores when you don’t even pay attention in class.”

Keith’s bored expression morphed into one of annoyance, Lance working his magic easily. “There is no trick. I don’t need one to pass,” his gaze hardened and Hunk prepared himself from experience. “Why? Do you need one? There’s no way you made third without one.”

Hunk stood closer to Lance, squeezing his shoulder, unable to watch the quick flash of hurt that flashed over Lance’s face before that cold mask came over and he turned away from a now unsure Keith. Hunk met his eyes but Keith quickly tore his gaze away, worrying his lip.

“Why is he so mean and cute?” Lance mumbled into Hunk’s shoulder as he grumpily shoved a garlic roll into his mouth.

Yeah, Keith was the on and off crush that lasted way longer than any crush should.

Lance laughed to himself ruefully. Poor Hunk has dealt with this crush for years.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmk, first let me clear some possible confusion. Everything from Lance's P.O.V. for the last couple of chapters has been him going in the past. So it's him as a child growing up but at the end of each memory, I add a little thing from the current Lance's viewpoint. Also, I'm going to blame the late chapter on Memorial Day vacation. IT"S FINALLY SUMMER FOR ME OMG. It's sad because summer is lonely but hey I'm actually going to have time to do crap now so that's great. I'm also announcing two official fanfics that should be updated and posted this summer, Picking from the Past (BNHA) and a Voltron one that has no official name yet so look forward to those. Okay I should sleep now, I have babysitting duty tomorrow<3


	39. Getting Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Blue get closer to Lance as Lance gets closer to the present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that might be a possible trigger for someone else or if you feel uncomfortable please tell me immediately in the comments or message me on Instagram: poppybirb Enjoy<3

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

“So you know where he is, right? Like his exact location and everything?” 

_ Yes, red paladin. Do not stress. Everything is under control. Your love is alright. _

Keith flushed at the lion’s wording and gave a grumble in response. 

Flying Blue was very different than flying Red. You’d think since they were both ships made from the same metal with the same controls, it’d feel the same. With these ships, it didn’t work like that. 

Flying Red was like riding an extension of himself. She melded into his mind and what they felt were one and the same. She didn’t speak to him with words but emotions so intense you got the message pretty easily. They both were quick to act upon instincts, a lot of the times causing one of them to split from the other, always returning. Red was excitement and heat, the thrill of a rollercoaster and the comfort of a bonfire. 

Blue was completely different. She was her own personality and made sure that was known. She was a presence that lurked at the back of Keith’s mind as guidance and comfort but she never became one with him. Maybe it was because he wasn’t her paladin but with how Lance used to talk about her, he doubted it. She also spoke quite a bit, much like her kitten. Unlike with Red when he wanted to do something reckless she put him in his place before he could do anything. Blue was the rush of cold water and the calm of a lake. Even the bluish lighting made Keith feel weird. 

He wasn’t going to lie, flying in Blue was exciting but he missed Red. He knew Allura was treating her well someplace else but he had a right to worry. 

_ You worry too much, young one _

Keith nearly knocked over a tree. That was another thing. Every time Blue spoke it felt like someone had dropped an ice cube down the back of his shirt. It was not the most fun experience. 

“How far are we?” he asked instead of acknowledging what she said. 

_ Nearby. I warn you, my kitten will not look well, he is struggling. I can feel it through our bond. Don’t be afraid when you see him. He will be alright.  _

“Oh, ‘cause that’s reassuring.” 

[Lance’s P.O.V.]

It was Visiting Weekend. One of Lance’s favorite weekends of the year. It was the day when his entire family could come on campus for an entire two days. After the initial sign in and finger prick they could go wherever they wished, their visit not being limited to mere minutes. 

He woke up earlier than he did even for classes. Hunk joined him, yawning loud enough to shake the room. Lance gave him a warm good morning and rushed to their dresser, quickly grabbing the jacket that matched Rachel’s and a random t-shirt. While Hunk was still adjusting to the real world Lance was rushing around the room like a madman, being incredibly loud all the while. But he couldn’t help it. This was the first time he’d see his family since he left five months ago for his fifth year at the Garrison. 

Now seventeen years old, he was much more accustomed to the flight school. Much to Hunk’s disappointment he still acted like the arrogant jerk that everyone tolerated. He insisted that everyone would like the real him much more than the butt he pretended to be but Lance still couldn’t find it in himself to bring the true him out. The personality he had adopted years before had become a second skin that he sometimes even wore in front of his family during breaks. 

Right now, none of that mattered. Today he was going to see Mama and Papa. His siblings. His adorable baby niece and nephew. It wasn’t the time to be sad. How could he when he was going to be surrounded by the people he loved and who loved him? 

All too soon, they had to leave. He stood at the entrance, holding back tears as his family formed a semi-circle around him. 

“Oh, time passes by too fast,” his Mama sighed, her hands on his shoulders as she examined him. 

Lance smiled sadly, “Yes it does.” He didn’t fight a single bit when she pulled him into a bone crushing hug that not even Hunk could compete with. Papa joined her and they stood there like that for a few moments, his siblings watching with bittersweet smiles. Then it was their turn. 

Rachel, of course, had to be the first to say goodbye after their parents. She glanced at the jacket he wore, her own tied around her waist. “Nice jacket.” 

“Thanks,” Lance smirked, “Looks better on me than anyone else.” 

Rachel raised an eyebrow before her eyes abruptly began to fill with tears. Lance quickly pulled her into a hug. 

“Hey, now,” he murmured, “You can’t do that. You’re going to make me cry and I’m an ugly crier much like my twin.” 

“Screw you,” she choked, “I’m gonna miss your obnoxious ass.” 

“I’m gonna miss you too.” 

She pulled away, eyes still wet and fished something out of her pocket. It was a braided chain with little charms on it. “We made you a little something.” She dropped the blue bracelet into his open hands with a twinkle in her eye. “Veronica did the braid. Marco carved the charm and I painted it. Luis helped his kids make other little charms for it.” 

He examined it, running his fingers over the charm. It was in the shape of a circle. Inside the circle was a beach fading into the ocean during the night, stars shining brightly above the water. The thread braid the charm was on wasn’t the best. But Lance could tell Veronica had improved her skills tremendously. The other charms displayed a two and one year old’s art skills tremendously, the little circles painted all different colors, their names signed in Luis’s handwriting. It was perfect. Eyes burning, he slipped it on his wrist.

“Thanks, Rach. Love you” His smile was now small, a slight quirk of his lips, but more genuine than any of his wide grins. She returned the gesture and stepped back. 

“Whatcha think?” Marco asked, eyeing the circle hanging from Lance’s wrist. 

“It's awesome, you’re getting better. Your little boat can’t even compare to what you make now.”

“Aw, you still have that old thing,” his brother chuckled, “You really do love me.”

“Nah, I just keep it to remind me of how much I hate you.” 

“You wound me, brother.” He ruffled Lance’s hair, ignoring the hand hitting him. 

“Hey, you can’t keep doing that,” Lance grumbled, “I’m not twelve anymore.” 

A touch of sadness tinted Marco’s grin. “Yeah, I know.”

They said goodbye with a hug just as Lance had done with everyone else and will do with the rest of his family. 

“He carved it all by himself this time,” Papa announced, looking to Lance’s older brother. 

“Wow, he’s growing up,” Lance said, barely avoiding getting hit by a flying shoe. If Mama hadn’t been there he definitely would’ve had to dodge. 

“And so are you.” Papa’s eyes glazed over and Lance bet they were visiting the same memory, the night he had decided what his dream was. God, that was so long ago. Lance thought it showed real dedication that he was actually very close to becoming what he decided he wanted to be at the age of six. 

Luis urged his two-year-old, Silvio, to walk over to Lance and give him a hug. Lance nearly cried into the young boy’s shoulder, breaking with every little, “Bye, Tio Wance.” Then his brother came himself, Nadia sitting patiently in her car seat sucking on her toe. 

“Wow, and I was beginning to feel like I was old,” Lance teased, pretending to point out a grey hair on Luis’s head. 

“Just give me hug and get it over with,” Luis groaned. With a laugh Lance did as he was told, Lisa temporarily taking her daughter. 

“Lisa, you’re not leaving without a hug either.” 

The woman gave him a warm smile and joined them, forming a little group hug. Soon everyone except baby Nadia who reached out to them. Lance leaned down and peered down at her. “Next time I see you, I expect a hug too.” She answered with a delighted garbled si and a mixture of other words. 

And just like that, it was only Veronica and him left. 

“It’s alright if you cry,” she said with a smirk, “I won’t judge.” 

“Shut up, V,” Lance grumbled, “You get your vacation next week, I get my vacation in another five months.” 

Veronica patted his shoulder with false sympathetically. “And another five months you will enjoy. With unseasoned goop for nutrients.” 

He smacked her and they spent the rest of way to his building fighting. 

He never did get to hug Nadia. 

[Keith’s P.O.V.]

His heart was about to beat out of his chest. According to Blue, they were mere feet from Lance’s location. He was getting incredibly jumpy in his seat, his knee flying up and down. He just had to find a close clearing to land Blue in while he retrieved Lance. Oh god, Lance. Keith couldn’t wait to see Lance’s face again. But he was afraid that the face he missed wouldn’t be smiling and he much preferred the face to be smiling. 

He spotted a clearing and landed as fast as possible, Blue in the background calmly but urgently asking him not to hurt her in the process. Impatient, he hadn’t listened. Thankfully he didn’t crash her. He would’ve undoubtedly been incredibly guilty if he had. 

“Okay, Blue. What direction?” he asked, whipping out his sword. He was willing to take down anything right now. Plus, the sharp weapon would probably help him better get through the thick forest. Details details. 

To make it easier, instead of speaking Blue turned her head to the direction where Lance was. Keith looked up and imagined Lance frantically jumping through these trees, as had become a habit if Keith had learned anything. 

Being as careful and fast as possible he entered the forest, pushing leaves out of the way and letting them fall behind him. Desperation leaped up in his throat as he looked around at all the roots, plants, and branches that were scattered over the dirt. How was he ever supposed to find Lance in all this...busyness?

_ Calm, red paladin. Just keep going straight and you will no doubt find him.  _

Keith snorted, imagining finding Lance. He’d probably trip over Lance’s body and fall face first into a pile of leaves and bugs, knowing him. He pouted at the laugh the image brought out of Blue. 

He kept moving forward, checking each the ground before him before taking another step in case Lance was actually lying beneath a pile of dead leaves or something. 

Turns out, he didn’t trip over Lance. 

He caught a peek of deep blue in the corner of his eye and all senses went on high alert. It was almost like he could sense Lance before even seeing him. Spinning around he saw the blue paladin leaning against the trunk of a tree. From afar it almost looked like he was taking a peaceful nap. 

Keith hurried over and dropped to his knees, looking the boy up and down for injuries. Even though Lance was clutching to his stomach oddly, there appeared to be no wounds. But Keith wished he didn’t have to see Lance’s face. 

His eyes were squeezed shut and tears continuously streamed from them without a pause. They decorated his odd top and wet his cheeks. The corners of lips kept switching from up to down. One second he was smiling and the next he was frowning. His eyebrows followed suit, twitching frantically. He looked like he was in pain but not from any cut or burn. 

“Oh, Lance.” Keith cupped his face and tried to wipe away some of the tears. But they just kept coming. He needed to get Lance to Blue now and help him, at least get him some water.

He carefully pulled Lance into his arms, surprised at how little it took to lift the boy. Lance’s head lay against his chest and Keith was glad he wasn’t wearing any fabric. He didn’t want to feel the tears any more than he had to see them. 

“C’mon Lance, wake up.” 

As Keith expected, there was no response. With a sad sigh, he began to return to Blue. 

_ Red paladin, hurry. I sense a struggle approaching in his mind.  _

“Don’t worry, Blue,” Keith murmured still looking at Lance, “I’ve got him.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should just change my posting date to Tuesday since my time management skills are crap. Technically I'm posting on Tuesday right now. I've also realized how close this fic is to the end and I don't know how to feel about that. For my first time doing this, I think I did decently. Or so I hope. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter <3


End file.
